Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!



When you are a private person…
Building your “private person” blog…
Building your “private person” podcast…
Building your “private person” Twitter presence to promote and publicize privatize your “private person” blog and your “private person” podcast…
To create a “brand” so that everyone knows what a “private person” you are…

Check the spelling of the link.

Don’t be a #DUMBFUCK

Of course, another FABULOUS branding technique is to Tweet out a link to your latest bit of butt-trumpetry…  

…and then take down the file.



Good Morning, DUMBFUCK! Part II

Do you know what I like about DUMBFUCK? It’s that it can’t stop talking about itself – EVER. This means its stories are never straight, its lies compound and catching it out becomes a simple matter of following up with the official paperwork on file with the Federal Government. You know, fed-to-fed.

Ol’ DUMBFUCK loves talking about its career as a journalist, broadcaster, writer-editor and a whole bunch of other crap. It loves talking about its time at XM radio. It loves talking about its time at the National Institute of Health and USDA. It loves talking about its time serving the US Navy – not once, but twice! It loves talking about how it was a GS-13 making $97,000 a year doing podcasts or how it “ran” the TV and radio stations on major warships. DUMBFUCK loves telling those stories because those stories make it look good.

But did you know DUMBFUCK’s federal civil service started WAAAAAAAAY before it was employed by the NIH or the USDA? That it involved DUMBFUCK in a writer-editor position? Did you know it was a GS-5 when it was hired on at this job? That it was for a very important federal entity at a very important location?


We know EVERYTHING ELSE about DUMBFUCK because DUMBFUCK can’t shut up about itself. But we don’t know about this mystery job? Why, DUMBFUCK…why??

Maybe because DUMBFUCK didn’t put it on its LinkedIn resumé and instead made up some bullshit employment to cover the gap filled by the mystery job. (Who is ever gonna follow up, right?)

Maybe because DUMBFUCK refuses to publicly acknowledge it was employed at this particular agency and location. (Yet DUMBFUCK will tell you how it peed himself on its front steps. What does that tell us?)

Maybe because DUMBFUCK was forced to resign for reasons that are quite…embarrassing. (Oh, snap!)

Let’s look at DUMBFUCK’s LinkedIn account and see what it was doing…oh…right after it got out of the Navy:

Bills LinkedIn Profile

Hmm…that’s funny. Why would something who was discharged from the US Navy in San Francisco, CA (Naval Station Treasure Island) in 1985 go all the way to Watertown, Wisconsin to work as a news director for five short months only to come straight back to California to work the next 2 years in rinky-dink media organizations up and down the coast? That’s certainly strange.

But there is a method to DUMBFUCK’s madness…why else would it list being employed as

  • News Director for WTTN/WMLW,
  • Managing Editor of the Coalinga Courier, and
  • City Hall Reporter/Columnist for The Manteca Record

when it was ACTUALLY employed as a GS-5 Writer-Editor for the Public Affairs Office of Naval Air Rework Facility Alameda?

Oh look…here’s the last SF-50 for its time at NARF Alameda:


One must wonder why DUMBFUCK is not so PROUD of this civil service period of its life? Everything it loves is here! The Navy! Journalism! Federal Civil Service! Fed-to-fed! Pretty good work, snagging a GS-05 position right after being discharged from active duty! Why isn’t it proud enough to share THAT with us when it shares every other detail of its miserable dumbfuck life with us?

I’m sure it had NOTHING to do with its being forced to resign from that position for…well…heh…which is why it NEVER, EVER, EVER talks about working for NARF Alameda.

Thankfully other people were willing to talk about it and point us in the right directions to find official fed-to-fed documents.

Just remember folks:

Bills Tweet


Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

So when he got fired in the Golden (Shower) State in 1986, was it for touching Boy Scouts in their bathing suit area?

I guess he’s a Big Government Lib’ruhl ‘cuz he knows they don’t have the resources to do even minimal background checks between coasts.  You know, just like small town media outlets…or not.


Can't Speak For Everyone, But…

…clearly someone has dickstomped himself with the Hasty Generalization fallacy.

There is no general case to describe this.  Sometimes it’s a morbidly obese, mentally inferior, abusive needledick who prefers Japanese transsexuals that drove his wife into a bottle, then into the arms of a real man…


…and sometimes it’s not.


So This Comment Came In

4-17-2015 9-14-33 AM

And after thinking about it, I realize that Bill, for once in your miserable life you are absolutely right.  The fact that you won a court case is not a good reason for you to “need to die.”

In fact, I doubt it would crack the Top 50.

But as a gesture of goodwill, I have identified grace3g.

So there you go.  Happy?


For teh EPIC Monkeydancing Dick Stomp You Perpetrated Today


Welcome to Butthurt'R'Us

Bildo Baggins has said in the past that photos depicting family members are not acceptable.

That does not mean he has the power to control himself, because he posts pictures of family members all the time. Babies with skulls photoshopped over their heads, wives standing atop giant penises, minor children holding hamsters. Just because he SAYS something is so certainly doesn’t make it so. We are bound by his edicts about family members only so far as he is. That means if he can’t prevent himself from photoshopping a woman onto a penis, there’s no reason we must avoid photoshopping someone else’s face onto a photo of a monkey pleasuring himself. That means when Bildo puts Mexican Day of the Dead faces on a Lickspittle, then he must be okay with someone photoshopping pictures of people he cares about. That means when anonymous commenters submit comments of someone’s wife in some other compromising position, then it must be okay for anyone to do the same thing as he or she sees fit.

Bildo has as much control over that sort of thing as Hoge and I have over the Gravatar images people choose for their avatars. And as a Free Speech Warrior who believes that the answer to bad speech is MORE speech, there is no greater advocate for the opposition to such usages of photos, or for others to make similar comments, provided they have and continue to meet the requirements of community decorum, which in my case are quite loose and freewheeling.

And I do not say I am going to start mass-producing photoshopped pictures of Gail Schmalfeldt. I don’t do that.

But if I were to allow it, and some waggish soul decided to make a substantive comment that included an avatar or even a full photograph of the sweet Mrs. Schmalfeldt’s face on a young woman’s body, said body being on the receiving end of some special attention from a hugely well-endowed African American porn star, under the Bildo’s rules, I would be within my rights to publish such a comment, would I not?

Especially if I had a sooper sekrit site where I could be sure that Bildo would never see such a disturbing image (or any of the dozens of other such images that may or may not already exist there thanks to the collective Zombie Horde who shall remain nameless), and his perpetual butthurt would not be exacerbated by the intentional self-infliction of emotional distress.

See the logic?

Who cares if you do or not? This is the Internet, where I could be lying with total impunity.

Or not. Good luck figuring it out.

Ha. Ha. And motherfucking HA!


As Our New Friend Has Said…

…it does appear to be his turn in the barrel.  I do hope he is as unhappy about it as he sounds.  I hope he is sufficiently motivated to follow through.

And I hope he appreciates this comment left by the Big BM in my Spam queue this morning, in response to D.Edgren’s suggestion.

If you need evidence of INTENT, I think you might not want to overlook that.