Welcome to Butthurt'R'Us

Bildo Baggins has said in the past that photos depicting family members are not acceptable.

That does not mean he has the power to control himself, because he posts pictures of family members all the time. Babies with skulls photoshopped over their heads, wives standing atop giant penises, minor children holding hamsters. Just because he SAYS something is so certainly doesn’t make it so. We are bound by his edicts about family members only so far as he is. That means if he can’t prevent himself from photoshopping a woman onto a penis, there’s no reason we must avoid photoshopping someone else’s face onto a photo of a monkey pleasuring himself. That means when Bildo puts Mexican Day of the Dead faces on a Lickspittle, then he must be okay with someone photoshopping pictures of people he cares about. That means when anonymous commenters submit comments of someone’s wife in some other compromising position, then it must be okay for anyone to do the same thing as he or she sees fit.

Bildo has as much control over that sort of thing as Hoge and I have over the Gravatar images people choose for their avatars. And as a Free Speech Warrior who believes that the answer to bad speech is MORE speech, there is no greater advocate for the opposition to such usages of photos, or for others to make similar comments, provided they have and continue to meet the requirements of community decorum, which in my case are quite loose and freewheeling.

And I do not say I am going to start mass-producing photoshopped pictures of Gail Schmalfeldt. I don’t do that.

But if I were to allow it, and some waggish soul decided to make a substantive comment that included an avatar or even a full photograph of the sweet Mrs. Schmalfeldt’s face on a young woman’s body, said body being on the receiving end of some special attention from a hugely well-endowed African American porn star, under the Bildo’s rules, I would be within my rights to publish such a comment, would I not?

Especially if I had a sooper sekrit site where I could be sure that Bildo would never see such a disturbing image (or any of the dozens of other such images that may or may not already exist there thanks to the collective Zombie Horde who shall remain nameless), and his perpetual butthurt would not be exacerbated by the intentional self-infliction of emotional distress.

See the logic?

Who cares if you do or not? This is the Internet, where I could be lying with total impunity.

Or not. Good luck figuring it out.

Ha. Ha. And motherfucking HA!


The Sound of One Hand Clapping

Deep in a dark pit
The other side of the world
Silent like his voice

In cold reality
CD sales equal success
Some are burned, cheap fuel

Writers of satire
Wish they were truly funny
Focused bitterness

These witless wonders
Sharp words are blunt sledgehammers
Butterflies to smash

Publicly angry
Privately beaten at home
And all because HOGE!

Ditched the computer
So the TROLLS will go away
Into the cornfield

Using the iPad
This annoying speech to text
Unreadable blog

Trolls in the cornfield
Peppy Irish melodies
Someone wants to dance

Always a party At the sooper sekrit site And some useful news