A Reminder of How Wars End

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Every time.

EVERY. TIME.

This terrorist-jock-sniffing DUMBFUCK files a lawsuit, an instant loser, apparent to any reasonable observer.

He crows about owning cars, houses, ALL THE THINGS!!!

And the defendants simply play by the rules defined rather than the rules he wants.

And he stomps his jimmies.

Every time.

EVERY. TIME.

And when the moment comes around, as it always does, when he can no longer deny the reality of his failure and he realizes that he must find that impossible path of escape from his own foolishness…

Someone tells him how.

Pay. Apologize. Change.

It’s the only way.

And he says, “They want me to eat a big bowl of shit.”

Yes.  Exactly.

It’s his own shit.  He built that.  Of course he should eat it.  He probably won’t change his ways even if he did, but if he doesn’t there’s no possible way.

And he says no.

Every time.

EVERY. TIME.

“I won’t change until you leave me alone,” he says. “I’m just going to keep stalking toddlers and threatening families and collecting restraining orders until you stop saying mean things about me. Because journalism.”

But we tried that.  More than once.  He doesn’t make threats, he makes promises.  Sometimes he even signs a contract.

And then he breaks those promises.  Because

PARKINSONS! EXECUTIVE FUNCTION! IMPULSE CONTROL! MAYONNAISE!

There’s a reason that everyone here knows that his harassment of others will not end until he can no longer interact with the internet.

He’s an Internet Crack Whore.  The Amy Winehouse of the World Wide Web, only with no discernible talent. (disclaimer: Joke. Insult. Protected Speech. Fuck off.)

As the sign says, If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got.

Every time.

EVERY. TIME.

He doesn’t get that no one is afraid of him.

He doesn’t get that in his new situation, he has a lot more to lose than any of his perceived adversaries, and a lot more talent arrayed against him to make it happen.

A LOT MORE.

If the alternative to losing everything involves parting with some money and some dignity that he never had to begin with, plus a figurative appointment with a bowl and spoon, well…

He should take his own advice:

“If you have to eat shit, best not to nibble. Bite, chew, swallow, repeat. It goes quicker.”

And the nice thing is he doesn’t even have to wash the spoon first.


TO THE DEFENSE TEAM: DUMBFUCK LACKS THE RESOURCES TO WIN AND THE SELF-AWARENESS TO SURRENDER. SO BE IT. PLEASE DON’T LET HIM ESCAPE THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS BAD ACTS THIS TIME.

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Who The Hell Is “Sarah Pallmer?”

And more importantly, where can I get one of those cool uniforms you have to wear for blustering?

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No, seriously – did you INTEND to make 7 mistakes in just 140 characters, Mr. GS-13? (I deduce that you meant the first word to be ALLCAPS, or it would be 8 mistakes, DUMBFUCK.)

Either wait for the hangover to pass or pour a little hair of the dog before you tweet.

Now go sniff a turd, toddlerstalker.

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Good Afternoon, DUMBFUCK!

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Asked and answered, pro se DUMBFUCK.

Collette Stranahan.

Next question.

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Why Am I So Quiet Today?

…here where DUMBFUCK can see?

He thinks he’s crowing today.  He sent this email to some folks at a company called CBRE.

He probably sent it to all the top floor management, virtually guaranteeing it will get circular filed by all the Executive Admins and they’ll all have a good laugh in the cafeteria at lunch.

I notice that he carefully blocked out the name of the person he was talking about, so it’s very hard to tell who he’s faildoxing today.

Letterz1

Really hard.

LEtterz2

I mean, who would ever be able to guess?

Letterz3

Practically impossible to figure it out!Letterz4

DUMBFUCK…why do you even bother?  And more to the point, how do you manage?  You are the lovechild of Wile E. Coyote and every Tannen male from the Back To The Future trilogy – you run confidently off the nearest cliff, hang there triumphantly for five seconds, and fall straight down into a steaming pile of fresh Slovenian horse manure!

A friend of mine commented on your latest exploit earlier. He said, “Good Lord, is he dumb.”

I said, “Yeah…but FUN to watch!”

I’ll bet in high school your classmates voted you “Most Likely to Run Away and Join The Circus and Mysteriously Vanish Never To Be Seen Again, or Join the Navy Because No One Will Hire Him In This Town.”

But I digress…

Why am I so quiet today?

Isn’t it obvious, DUMBFUCK?

Because it makes you DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCE!

monkey_dance

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Well, Think About It In Geological Time Scales

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About as long as it takes for a a pebble to fall from the lip of the Grand Canyon to the bottom.

On the other hand, how long will it take to backtrace that photo to me?

The Earth will burn to a cinder first.

Please, feel free to hold your breath.

It’s a lot of fun watching other people make you dance!

You have no idea the number and quality of the netizens whom you have pissed off in your cyber-travels, Gulliver.

And you want to know something even funnier?

Neither do I!

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DUMBFUCK Don’t Hafta Remember EVERYTHING…

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…but DUMBFUCK really ought to work on remembering IMPORTANT things…

Cheshire Cat Grin_2

Watch me get all shriveled now!

Look what you’ve done!  Oh, I’m melting, melting! Ohhhh, What a world…what a world…

Sorry for mixing my opium-fueled fairy tales, y’all…

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ECF 24 – Motion to Supplement on PACER

There’s also a Motion for Summary Judgment, which seems a little premature, but then I hear that’s always been a problem for DUMBFUCK…

There may be a few…uh…transcription errors! Yeah!  in this version of the pleading.

Whoops.

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Just A Thought

Earlier today, DUMBFUCK posted the following audio. He says there are no restrictions on the use of it, but he is a world-renowned DUMBFUCK of zero esteem, so I have used the archive.is link here, and not the link he posted.

You can listen to it or not. It sounds like Robbie the Robot with a mouthful of glass wrapped in tinfoil, whispering through cinder blocks from the bottom of a well. Good luck figuring out what he’s on about.

Anyway, he proclaims that Sarah Palmer told NINE PROBABLE LIES WHILE UNDER OATH!!1!1!!1ELEVENTY11!1!11!1!!!

And by God, DUMBFUCK is going to do…something…ABOUT IT!

HARRUMPH!!

No, he isn’t.

He could have…in January.
All he had to do was show up…in January.
But he didn’t, the lazy, stupid TURDROLLING SHITSNIFFING TODDLERSTALKER.

Truth is still a defense to defamation, isn’t it?

I thought so.

He could have appealed the ruling. But that too would have required SHOWING UP, and if there’s one thing Gamma Boy knows how to do, it’s cut and run when things get tough.

Hmm…okay, if there are TWO THINGS the Gutless Gamma knows how to do, they are 1) cut and 2) run when things…

If there are THREE things the DEMENTED DUMBFUCK knows how to to do, they are 1) cut, 2) run for the hills and 3) weep into his petticoats when…

Dammit, if there are FOUR things the TEARSTAINED TURDROLLER knows how to do, they are 1) cut, 2) run for the hills, 3) weep into his sandy petticoats and 4) try to re-litigate his epic failures on Twitter when things get rough.

And I’m stopping there because real life awaits.

But Vinnie says “Hey.”

DM

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