As If You Needed Another Reason To Love Kate Upton

Her fiancé Justin Verlander did not win the American League Cy Young Award, and this happened:


Plus, Kate Upton.

My bunk...I'll be in it.
My bunk…I’ll be in it.




Rule 5 Oscars+

Been a while since I put up a Rule 5 post. Busy, busy, busy.

I thought I’d put a little Oscar eye candy out there for y’all. Let’s start with the Best Actress nominees.

Marion Cotillard:

Felicity Jones:
Felicity Jones

Rosamund Pike:

Reese Witherspoon:

And the Oscar goes to…

Julianne Moore!

And our Best Supporting Actress nominees:

Laura Dern:

Keira Knightley:

Emma Stone:

Meryl Streep:

And the Oscar goes to…

Patricia Arquette!

Now, if you notice, there’s one image here that falls just a bit short in the Rule 5 department: Meryl Streep.

She is without doubt the finest and most heralded American actress of the last half century; in my opinion, only Kate Hepburn comes close. But I also think that what aids her tremendous range is her Everywoman quality. She can do everything precisely because of her average appearance. In short, she’s just not Rule 5 material.

So with that in mind, here’s the plus: two of her co-stars from Into The Woods.

Emily Blunt:

…and Anna Kendrick (because, Anna Kendrick! Duh.):



Bonus Multipurpose Earworm!

Now, I heard this song just yesterday.  Listening to the lyrics as it wormed its way in, I recalled that this is a song sung from the point of view of a guy who is basically a total loser whining about his lot in life and who thinks he deserves better than what he has.  And I thought, “I KNOW SOMEBODY JUST LIKE THAT!”

So I went looking for a good YouTube clip, and found this absolute GEM, packed full of Rule 5 Goodness!

So, it’s a Bonus Earworm!

It’s a Statement Earworm!

It’s a Rule 5 Earworm!

It’s your basic Multipurpose, Do It All Earworm!



By Special Request – Rule 5a – The Ashterah Inclusion

Okay, since she asked so nicely, and because Howard went and scared the stuffing out of her, I decided, as a special treat for ashterah, to bring some ginger beefcake.  In my objective zombie opinion, from least hotness to most:

Cincinnati Bengals QB Andy Dalton:


Actor Tony Curran, who played Vincent Van Gogh in an episode of Doctor Who, so there’s your tie in:


Soccer Commentator Alexi Lalas (bonus points for the excellent pornstache):


WWE Professional Wrestler Seamus (max beefiness):


And your clubhouse leader, Snowboarder Shaun White (even I have to say the hair is fantastic):


Don’t get used to this benevolence.  My name is Paul, not Paula.


Rule 5 – Pin Ups

There are many terrific pin up artists out there. I like pin ups. Mostly I like the classics. Risqué but not explicit. I’m going to make an effort to showcase them on a regular, if limited basis.

Here is a fine example of the work of Gil Elvgren:

And as a bonus, the iconic photograph of Rita Hayworth from Gilda. If I may say so…ZOWIE!



Serious Rule 5

I figure it’s about time for a real Rule 5 post around here. In preparation, I reviewed Stacy’s explanation; there is a lot implied about showing a lot of skin, but there is also much to be said for modesty and mystery as well, in a sexy-from-the-neck-up way.

Here are a few favorites:

P!nk is definitely sexy from the neck up – I just like the attitude she projects, something like, “yes you can take me home tonight, but don’t be surprised when I snap you like a twig.”

Gia Gadot is a veteran of the Fast and Furious franchise, also set to play Wonder Woman. She’s yummy.

Cote de Pablo was Ziva David on NCIS for many years, where she toyed with everyone. Another whose modesty impresses. I did not find but one or two bikini shots, and they felt wrong. So I stuck with what has always worked for me, the consumer.

Padma Lakshmi. Eating bacon. Call this a two-fer.

The iconic Marilyn Monroe. Followed by two acolytes:

The unashamedly curvy Christina Hendricks…

and the smoking hot Kate Upton.

I respect women who defy the conventional wisdom and tell the world “I have curves and I am not afraid to use them.”

Tried not to objectify Anna Kendrick.

Failed miserably. I’ll muddle through, somehow.

And finally, my first serious Rule 5 effort cannot be complete without a deep bow of respect to The Standard By Which All Pin-Ups Past Present And Future Must Be Measured:

Miss Bettie Page:


It was so hard to settle on just one Bettie. But that means I can use others later!