Why Was I Even Worried?

He was always going to find a way to get fired from that job.

I know that there a people in entertainment who pretend to be something they are not, just to put food on the table. Mostly these people are called actors, but in radio, there are country DJs who can’t stand country music. There are devout Christians who play death metal. There are comic personalities doing political talk. There are – oh, the HORROR!! – liberals working in conservative radio.

Because that’s the job.

In DUMBFUCK Bill Schmalfeldt, however, his own self-regard trumps (pun intended) all. Even when it costs him a job, even when it results in the deserved scorn and contempt of his balloon animal fiancee and her family, even when it prevents him from fulfilling promises to marry her and get that earthquake ravaged downtown of a mouth repaired…he will still manage to fuck up a good thing because he’s a fucking idiot.

And blame somebody else for his bad fortune. Note that he didn’t stomp on his own crank…his “almost-tenure was torpedoed” by…someone else…and not by his own naturally sunny socialist disposition.


I think I know what the real problem is for our boy. He’s pretty good at fooling people who haven’t gotten to know him, and that gets him hired. But he can’t sustain that charade because after two or three weeks, people get to know him, and there’s no recovering from that.

Too bad, so sad, bye-bye.


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

9 thoughts on “Why Was I Even Worried?”

  1. The woman doing the show found that just being in the same building with DF was objectionable.

  2. "when I was sent packing after I objected to being called "unpatriotic" by the new morning show host"

    Translation: I was fired because I fucked up again.

    1. Plus my politics suck.

      If you can't read your audience, well, you can't hold a job. Or get one-

  3. "I'm glad that someone else who does what I was supposed to do got hired to replace me."

    Yeah, because they might have hired a fucking brain surgeon or even an honest-to-goodness rocket scientist instead. What a DUMBFUCK.

    1. A rocket scientist doing radio?

      Where would anyone find someone with THAT kind of diverse skill set?

      That’s just crazy talk.


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