Of course it meant to do that. Five days of non-stop monkey dancing all because I took my blog private?

That was its plan all along, don’t you see?  DUMBFUCK was so thoroughly convinced that I am Lynn Thomas that it convinced ME that I am Lynn Thomas, and that’s why I ducked for cover so fast! It makes perfect sense…if you’re a DUMBFUCK.

Those of you with memories unclouded by mayonnaise and Johnnie Walker may recall that back on September 28th, the DUMBFUCK saw fit to post a little Top 10 list of things he done but never got caught doing.  #1, a needless cheap shot at Lynn Thomas, is particularly noteworthy for my purposes.

Prior to impending deletion by Mr. I NEVER DELETE TWEETS, YOU LIAR, it could be found at https://twitter.com/dirtyschnitzel/status/648717870944362496

Now, this tweet is saved for posterity at https://archive.is/NzeJi:

10-12-2015 1-54-47 PM10-12-2015 1-53-43 PM

The following day, September 29th, our friend BusPassOffice made note of this same series of Tweets in this comment at Hogewash!

A few days pass.  DUMBFUCK continues his toothless insults of yours truly.  If he ever found a button to push that worked, he’d be awfully impressive to behold.  Until that day…


The monkey must dance.

Then on October 9th, probably after polishing off another liter of Johnnie (I suppose if a DUMBFUCK can’t remember what it tweeted out 11 short days prior, it probably also doesn’t remember all the times that it has called Stacy McCain an alcoholic either), it re-read the first part of the comment by BPO.  Two lonely brain cells in its noggin canyon must have accidentally bounced off one another and BOOM! a realization.

“I’ve only been harassing Krendler.  I never said anything about Lynn Thomas.  EPWJ (BPO is too many letters to remember) says I harassed Lynn Thomas.  Therefore, Lynn Thomas is Krendler!  Internet Investigator Journalist Does It Again!!! Take that, Johnny Atsign!”

So what to do?  What to do?

Podcast, of course.

The October 9 podcast makes much hay out of BPOEPWJ’s “mistake.” (Which, as we all know, is actually DUMBFUCK’S mistake)  Suddenly, DJ DUMBFUCK thinks it knows who Krendler is, for about the sixth time. And it is wrong, for the sixth time (Actually the fifth time, but we’ll get to that later).

So the podcast covers two main topics.  First is EPWJ’s epic error which put the intrepid newshound back on the trail of Paul Krendler.  Which led it to speculate in its implausibly deniable fashion that perhaps Paul Krendler and Lynn Thomas are somehow linked!

Nope.  Sorry.  Wrong again. (Which is actually poor phrasing – to say “wrong again” implies that there was a moment, however miniscule and insignificant, during which DUMBFUCK was correct about something.  So I should say STILL WRONG AND NEVER YET CLOSE.)

The second topic is a rehash of the Team Kimberlin muckraking of Lynn Thomas, courtesy of Bunny Boy Unread.  Being a Matt Osborne fantasy, there’s really nothing interesting in it, except to hear DUMBFUCK reading aloud in its halting, hesitant cadence, rich with an eight-year-old’s confidence.

The one notable admission that it made came at 1:20:40 in the podcast, when he said, “Wait a minute – Eric Johnson said that I had been harassing Lynn Thomas, and I haven’t mentioned the woman’s name in over a year. The only person I know of, that could claim harassment…would be…the Zombie.  Is Paul Krendler…actually Lynn Martin?”

Lynn Martin?

Does DUMBFUCK have a stalking target that we don’t know about?  Does it have a creepy thing for the former Secretary of Labor?

I’m just asking questions…

But of course the truly interesting admission in that quote is this:  “I haven’t mentioned the woman’s name in over a year.”

We know that isn’t true.

10-14-2015 11-44-47 AM

@dirtyschnitzel has been around for…what? A month? That’s more than a year in DUMBFUCK time, isn’t it?

Wotta DUMBFUCK. And when the comments started appearing here noting the epic mistake that DUMBFUCK had made, I seized the opportunity.

I took this place private.  I set several (not all – not by a long shot) zombie Twitter accounts to private.

Can you say “gaslighting?”  I knew that you could.

Did DUMBFUCK fall down my rabbit hole?  No, he did not.

He screamed “COWABUNGA!!” and dove in headfirst.

I communicated through back channels what I had done and why:

10-14-2015 10-40-06 AMELSEWHERE, I put it like this:

10-14-2015 10-40-33 AM

And did DUMBFUCK go apeshit?  You be the judge.

Here’s a link to its Twitter TL going all the way back to October 2.

Now, why was I able to so quickly get the nutshuffler to start nutshuffling?  It’s quite simple, really.  Every reader remembers when DUMBFUCK published a post recommending that nothing it writes can be counted upon to be true, and everything should be taken with a grain of salt.

Maybe this post is what it was remembering when it said it hadn’t written a word about Lynn Thomas in over a year.

It was wrong then, it has been wrong every other time, and because demons only know a few simple tricks, it has begun to repeat itself.  I suppose Eric Schultz and Mathew C. Ryan (with one ‘t’) will be floating back to the top soon.

But for now, we must face the simple fact of the matter.

DUMBFUCK, you have been played. Again.  You’ve been played so hard that even “DUMBFUCK” falls short as a means of describing just how much you’ve been played.  I’ve seen “Playstation” tossed out there, and it’s close, but frankly you looked more like an old mutt falling for the fake throw, over and over and over and over.  You were played so hard that some of us, when we stopped laughing long enough to catch our breath and take a drink of water, even felt a little sorry for you.

Not me, of course.  But some.  A few. Well…one. I think.

You don’t really inspire much sympathy.  I mean, even a dumb mutt gets wise eventually.

People tried to warn you.  But, no.  Dave was going to give it all away. Even the team poodle Wee Willie went all in.  We tried to tell you to hit the brakes, but you’re man enough to handle Dead Man’s Curve, aren’t you?

Tell me.  How’s the view from the flaming wreck at the bottom of the ravine?

And now you have to save face.  Because none of this is your fault!  You can’t be bothered to check facts, or even remember that you fucked up with this very same faux Krendler over a year ago!  There’s lies to publish!

You know, I understand that someone calling himself Roy Schmalfeldt has accused you of rape.  If I recall correctly, you filed a lawsuit over that.  You called it, and I quote:

“42.  Co-defendant “Roy Schmalfeldt placed plaintiff in a false light and invaded his privacy with his libelous assertion that plaintiff had ‘raped a person I loved.’

And then you dismissed that lawsuit with prejudice.  You do know what it means to dismiss a lawsuit with prejudice, don’t you, Mister ACME LAW EXPERT?

DISMISSAL WITH PREJUDICE. When a case is dismissed for good reason and the plaintiff is barred from bringing an action on the same claim.

Don’t want to be called a rapist?  Should have finished that fight when you had the chance.  Too bad you had to flee the jurisdiction like the weeping vagina you are.  You may be able to rely on the indulgence of better angels than me to ask for decorum, but if you had

  • skin thicker than a Trojan;
  • the manhood to not go Bowling For Butthurt; or
  • one single ounce of self-control…

you’d be a much happier DUMBFUCK.

And I would be a much sadder Zombie.  Because the dancing that filled the last week would end.  Oh, it was so lovely to watch.  And all I had to do to get it rolling was put up a “Gone Fishing” sign.

It was beautiful.

Let’s do it again soon.

Okay?  Deal.

Be well.


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

60 thoughts on “"I MEANT TO DO THAT!"”

  1. It's important, for the record (because we know lies will be told), that NO ONE SET HIM UP. The sequence of events:
    1. Out of the blue, he took a cheap shot at Lynn Thomas.
    2. The next day, EPWJ made note of this.
    3. Ten days later, BS noticed EPWJ's 10-day old comment, forgot his own tweet that was still in his timeline, and executes another faildox.
    4. Several people openly brought all of this to his attention.
    5. He ignored them.
    6. He doubled down.
    7. Krendler stepped in to survey the ms and have some fun.

    1. See what I mean about revisionism? His own unwillingness to admit error and heed warnings is no longer his own fault; no, he was "pranked."

      1. Sorry, Dumbfuck. You gobbled that hook like it was attached to a boy scout.


      2. Oh, sweet lord baby Jesus, he didn't.

        You know, none of the Zombies or Lickspitttles memory hole things. So we don't just know that he actively refused to accept the warnings of any number of us, we can prove it.

        This is actively sad.

        Actually, no, it's not. It's hysterical.

      3. Bill doesn't quite know enough about being a pariah. Sadly, know too much. Thankfully I know the way to redemption and freely offer that knowledge to any who ask, even the dirty shitzel ...

    2. " Ten days later, BS noticed EPWJ’s 10-day old comment, forgot his own tweet that was still in his timeline, and executes another faildox."

      Paragraph 83 was going through 10-day old posts? Doesn't he usually define such behavior as "stalking"?

  2. And here we go!


    Too bad Captain Morgan left a huge online testament to his gullibility and self-serving wishful thinking.

    I'm just sad that he has to throw away the new lulzsuit he spent the weekend secretly crafting.

    1. Does Dumbfuck know he can't delete the flood of gullibility he left at Dave's and Billy Sez?

  3. It's almost as if he enjoys being someone's bitch. Certainly he has willingly played that role for his pedo hero, and all evidence points to him enjoying the humiliation that Krendler doles out. Why else would he take such an obvious set up and run as fast and far with it as he did all the while being told, by US nonetheless, that he should check his premise.

    I don't think DUMBFUCK even begins to describe his lack of intelligence and dignity.


  4. I'm starting to believe that SCHMALFELDT is really Krendler and this has all been the greatest performance art of all time.

    Can anyone be this much of a DUMBFUCK and survive on his own for more than 10 minutes?

  5. And this time Team Kimberlin came along for the ride, even though we told them the premise was wrong: Wee Wee Willy believed it too!! (link to Dave’s blog)

    Please note the date and time of Wee Willy's comment:

    October 12, 2015 at 4:48 pm

    Now, how about from someone who can’t be tarred with that brush?

    This sounds like a threat to me.

    Really, Dave, your reaction to this is…puzzling at best. My offer still stands if you’d rather talk about this to someone other than Bill. Just swing by my blog and leave me a comment (I won’t publish it) and we’ll take it from there."

    The mockery does indeed continue, but you didn't know you were included, did you Wee Willy?


  6. Billy sez: "I can travel to Maryland for court appearances and to be a witness against Mr. Howell or whoever else your office chooses to prosecute in this matter."

    BUT, Billy has also sezd:

    "I am not physically able to hop onto a plane and fly from Wisconsin to Massachusetts...."

    "However, I am physically unable to travel except in the most extreme circumstances."

    "I have neither the funds nor the physical ability to be in Court Wednesday, ... "

    "... since I am disabled and both physically and financially unable to travel."

    1. He has these miraculous recoveries from time to time where the Parkinson's just melts away.

      It's not like William would willfully mislead a court.

    2. Funny how he is now claiming that the reason he couldn't go to MA was simply money, while in the past he was claiming that his physical disabilities, (the ones that are so severe that he can live on his own, needing no help with ADL nor even housework,) where the primary reason he couldn't travel anywhere.

  7. he is a very specific level of disabled.
    disabled to here but not to there,
    disabled with a fox, not disabled in a box,
    disabled with a mouse but not disabled in a house.
    my Parkinson's is small and large and against it you cannot arge.

      1. nope. its intentional to make the rhyme, shows DF what actual creativity looks like. might not be the most imaginative thing in the world but certainly doesn't partake of the B-stuff, know he won't get it.

  8. I think now is the appropriate time to pause for a moment of serious reflection and consideration...

    and get our bets down on the demise of the dirtyschnitzel blog and twitter.

    1. Need to hurry with your bets as he has already started to build the landing site:


      The pool is final when kills off the old twitter and blog.

      1. After all he's been 'dying' of Parkinson'd for a decade or more right?That's gotta take a toll on a young, happily married man, something he hasn't been in years and never will be again! Just writing this I chortled ...

  9. Wasn't there a point, early on, when several zombies were actually openly cautioning the horde that they were laying it on too thick? And yet, he still swallowed it hook, line and sinker; hell's bells the reel was at risk at one point.

    1. Yes, there was, and even before that [on the 10th] I posted this at Dave's:
      "Except that didn’t actually happen, and this whole thing, including Krendler shutting down TMZ, just us fucking with you. Again. And you completely falling for it. Again.

      You are always wrong. Always. You have never figured any of this out. Never. Even with a clear trail right from his user name, it still took three tries for us to lead you to AD because you are too damned stupid to bother several completely uninvolved people on your way to clicking a damn link. And, you are too fucking stupid to NOT attempt to intimidate [read the statute again, DUMBFUCK, that was the word you tripped over] someone when you’re all full of yourself because you FIGGERED IT OUT!!!

      Except, again, you didn’t. Time after time after time, every time, you are more easily baited than a trout in a commercial pond."

      A couple of typos, but I clearly spelled it out for him...and he preferred to believe I am the Right Wing Enforcer, on my way to give Dave a wall-to-wall counseling session.

  10. Egads. Do you mean I've been berating Maling this week, for not bringing me TMZ print-outs with my morning tea and crumpets, all for no reason? Now we shall both have to pretend it never happened.

    I believe this is how an expert would deal with such embarrassments.

  11. "The only person I know of, that could claim harassment...."

    Is he saying that someone--anyone--could legitimately claim harassment?

    Admission against interest?

  12. What a con, what a con.

    And props to Dave A. for redirecting the focus onto himself so it wouldn't fall onto LT--um, KU--um, PK--when TMZ went dark.

    1. I nominate AJ for best supporting actor, primarily for the "non-threat threats"!

      Some of the overacting was quite spectacular, too, so kudos to those folks, too numerous to name. There were several truly shatner-esque comments!

      1. I look forward to embarassing Shakes the Clown again next week.

        Same time, same place, Inspector Jiggles?



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