Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

I was a bit worried that I would have nothing to mock this morning because DUMBFUCK was suddenly disinvited from Twitter yesterday for being a testicle-footed penis.  It seems Twitter is as incapable of learning as DUMBFUCK is. But then again, as the scorpion said to the tortoise just before they both drowned, “It’s just my nature. You knew what I was when you let me climb on your back.”


By which I mean, DUMBFUCK don’t gotta exercise a lick of common sense.

When my daughter got her cell phone, ZombieMom and I sat down and had a talk with her about sexting.  Of the several things we covered, one of the most important was this:

Sexting consequence 2

It’s embarrassing. The girl in the photo meant her picture for her boyfriend’s eyes only, but that’s not how it ended up. Once something’s on a cell phone, it can be forwarded, uploaded, downloaded, edited, and passed around the Internet and around the world. While the girl in the photo meant her picture for her boyfriend, if they break up, he’ll still have the photo and can do whatever he wants with it. Sexting consequences have included teens who have attempted suicide, and one girl recently succeeded in taking her own life because her photo was forwarded to everyone in her school. Nothing is worth that type of embarrassment. Ever.

Consider where the ultimate responsibility lies when a naughty picture escapes onto the Internet.  There was a recent scandal regarding several celebrities’ phones being hacked and nude pictures leaking into the internet. Snapchat’s business model rests on the idea that whatever a user sends is auto deleted after a few seconds from the destination device, but what is left unsaid is that all messages and images go into, and are permanently stored on, Snapchat’s  internal servers.

There are only three ways to keep potentially embarrassing photos offline:

  1. Don’t take the photo in the first place;
  2. Don’t store it on a hackable device;

Middle school girls know this. Internet investigative journomalistic DUMBFUCKS do not.

Apparently not!

In my email yesterday I found a photo.  The sending address was obviously fake, and the message was signed Mort in Maryland.

The photo wasn’t particularly graphic; certainly nothing illegal. I can tell you that I wouldn’t want to see a picture of my wife in that state circulating around the Internet like a Kim Kardashian video. Sure, she’s two weeks from dying, but it looks more like two minutes.  I think only a sadistic sociopath would want to even TAKE that picture, much less keep it. If someone over the age of 7 gave me this picture as a gift for me to cherish, I would have to question their sincerity and they would probably spend the next several weeks eating through a straw.

But anyway…now I’ve got this photo, taken in room 411B, the woman in the photo with such a frail, put-the-camera-down-you-sick-fucking-ghoul expression, the partial finger obscuring the left side of the lens…really, really sad on so many levels.  What should I do about it?

I could post it right here and now. That would be fun, watching it try to spin that “THIS IS NOT MY FAULT!!” will be hilarious. Especially since I know even more about this photo than I am saying here.

Instead, let’s do this:  as far as I know, there has been no obituary published, and every obituary needs a photo.

So, if DUMBFUCK would care to continue its madness, I may visit several regional newspapers, money orders in hand, and buy big, flowery obits in its name. And oh, the charitable organizations I could name in lieu of flowers!

On the other hand, if it stops…I won’t have any FUN.

But we already know that’s not an incentive.  Neither is the notion that it wants to keep that photo private.  It sent THE SAME PHOTO in separate emails to separate destinations.  Do you think it knew that by doing that it was robbing itself of the ability to identify which of its harassment targets passed it on to me through back channels?

I’ll bet a year’s pay it didn’t think of that, because DUMBFUCK!!!

And now it’s over a barrel.  To paraphrase DUMBFUCK, I hope it doesn’t force me into doing something unpleasant, because my options are limited.



Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

62 thoughts on “Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!”

  1. I think...scale this back. She had other family. Smacking BS around? Hysterical! Causing decent people distress? Awful.

  2. I sent the photo to Hoge and to Hinckley's wife. All others were law enforcement. So either Hoge or Hinckley sent it, which is fine. They will pay for it, as will Patrick Grady.

    [Good luck with that, you binary bonehead. - PK]

    1. "That photo I didn't want circulating around the internet might wind up circulating around the internet! One of the people who really don't like me and to whom I sent it, (over the internet) for virtually no reason whatsoever, must be responsible!!"

      Shakey, you DUMBFUCK, turn your computer off and never turn it on again. Delete yourself from the internet.

      1. BS was trying to honeypot his harassment victim John Hoge, but BS is too damn stupid to pull it off. And, the dumbass also sends it to the wife of another one of his harassment victims. She didn't ask for the damn picture. NOBODY did.

        And, NOBODY is under any obligation -- legal or otherwise -- to protect that picture from being forwarded to others or posted on the Internet. If dumbass wanted the picture to be kept private... HE should have kept the damn thing to himself. Instead he is using that picture and the death of his wife to harass others and attempt to get them into legal trouble.

        BS is the spawn of Satan.

      2. As CRAZY as this may seem, forwarding unsolicited emails is neither a crime nor a tort.

      3. On;y a deeply disturbed person would photograph their wife the throws of dying and then forward said photo to someone he has been cyber-harassing for years. That is so pathological; I'm stunned

    2. And he thinks cops won't rat him out!

      Awfully trusting, for a lefty.

      For all he knows, some of us might just be cops, or their catspaws...

    3. They will pay for it, as will Patrick Grady.

      No they won't, you gigantic sand-packed weeping mangina.

    4. An entire stadium of people doing the facepalm are necessary for that statement.

      Lord, but you are so freaking stupid, it burns.

      1. BTW, Mort is French for dead. I know, I know, DEATH-THREAT ELEVENTY!11!!!

    5. So you didn't want it circulated on the net.

      So you sent it to Hoge's local LE, and sent an unsolicited email to WJJ Hoge, whom you know has requested you not contact him. You told Hoge's local LE that the image was unpublished, and if it got loose you would know it was HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that done the deed.

      Twenty minutes later you sent the same image to an unrelated third party.

      And we are to trust your word that you have not sent it to anybody else?

      Assuming local LE did not send the message, and by now I suspect they are well aware of the little soap opera in their sandbox, you KNOW that you sent it to one person other than Hoge.

      Oh, and BTW, none of these people were under ANY obligation not to forward it, so you have stepped on your balls again, with cleats, while trying to frame a man for a non-crime.

  3. I’ll bet a year’s pay it didn’t think of that,

    A year of -who's- pay?

    Ah ha ha ha! You've fallen for the trap!

    After you pay the bet, THEN he'll figure out who you are!

    It's so simple! (Unless you're yet another person....But that's INCONCEIVABLE! NEVER GO IN VERSUS A CETACEAN WHEN DOXXING IS ON THE LINE!)

    1. Bill Schmalfeldt tends to be bad at canaries. He's good with stool pigeons, and better with pigeon stool.

  4. Enhance the photo to get the fingerprints.

    Hey, if CSI can get a face out of the reflections off someone's eyeball...

  5. Hold on. I am not certain of the factual background here. Please correct me if my understanding of the facts is wrong.

    There is a photo apparently taken by Witless Willie of his dying wife.

    It has been sent to one or more Lickspittles or Zombies. That is, it has been published in a legal sense.

    But it has not been "publicized" except for its existence, which has been publicized.

    Do I have it? If so, this sure sounds like a typical TK move playing cute with the terms "publishing" and "publicizing." Or maybe it is a copyright infringement game they are tring to pull with the "gift" of a picture.

    1. 1) There is a photo apparently taken by Witless Willie of his dying wife. - YEPPERS

      2) It has been sent to one or more Lickspittles or Zombies. That is, it has been published in a legal sense. - AYUP

      3) But it has not been “publicized” except for its existence, which has been publicized. - THAT'S A BINGO!


      Billy's attempts at honeypotting things are such epic fails. Are you can do is this:

  6. This popped up in my email this morning.

    From: LordofSatire
    Date: Wed, 1 Jul 2015 10:43:21 -0400
    To:, [redacted], [redacted], [redacted], [redacted], [redacted],
    Subject: Re: Death Threats, Mocking My Recently Deceased Wife

    The disturbing photo of my wife in the hospital has made its way to the hands of Patrick Grady of Palatine, IL, a defendant in my Federal Lawsuit, who is threatening to publish it if I do not behave myself. He described it perfectly, but he hasn’t published it yet. Would someone have a chat with Mr. Hoge and ask him why he would do such a thing as send this photo to be used as blackmail, not just distressing to myself, but to everyone in my wife’s family?

    Are these human beings?

    Bill Schmalfeldt

    1. I'd love to hear him explain the source of the photo. Does he think a Lickspittle went to the hospital and took it? Does he not realize the image contains data that identifies it's source?

      And anyone who has received it -- EXTRACT AND PUBLISH THE META DATA. If nothing else, we'll see if he edited the photo.

      1. Looks like a second contact, after the one last night, after multiple reqests to NOT contact.


        The further admissions that 20 minutes after he sent the pic to Hoge and local LE, he also sent it to an unrelated third party are not gravy. Oh no. They are not any mere gravy. They are at the very least Hollandaise, maybe Bearnaise. Or given the sheer cheese factor, they are a pack of Kraft Mac and Cheese, hold the mac. Yeah, that's more what Bill would make.

    2. "Made its way into the hands of"?

      He sent it!

      No one - just no one - could possibly be that stupid.

      I increase my stadium of facepalms to two stadiums.

      Good. Lord.

    3. "...who is threatening to publish it if I do not behave myself."


      Help me officer. I won't be able to continue my harassment, cyberstalking and FailDoxxing. I mean, he's asking me to stop!

      Oh Behave.


  7. Someone correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't that email with the photo included also sent to about 27 different email addresses in law enforcement? Anyone else remember how many times photos of crime scenes and murders and car accidents get passed around the web once they are in the systems at police stations? Bill really is a dumb fuck. All it would take is for one cop to Google build small felt, realize what an asshole he is, find Crumpler, and send the email. Anonymously of course. Did Bill think of any of that before publishing that photo to so many strangers?

    1. Damn autocorrect

      build small felt = Bill Schmalfeldt

      Crumpler = Krendler

      1. Krendler = Law enforcement.

        Pick up a book once in a while, Blob!

      1. He thinks he stinks but he stinks when he thinks.
        Does he stink when he thinks, or does he only think he thinks?
        Does he stink when he only thinks that he thinks?
        Methinks he stinks when he thinks because that he thinks.
        Methinks he stinks but he does not thinks.
        He stinks because he stinks when he thinks he thinks.

      1. Please, don't call him that. Last thing I want is to find him in the next seat at the House of Lords.

      1. maybe with the IP address. I bet it's, the tricksy devil!

      1. Son in Law? Or perhaps....stepson?

      2. Married Death's adopted daughter.

        Son in law.

        as the song goes,

        "The only one that could ever reach me,
        was the son-in-law of Reaper man.
        The only boy that could ever teach me,
        was the son-in-law of Reaper man."

        (not many) apologies to Dusty Springfield.

  8. Bill took a picture of his wife. He sent it to Hoge and others. Krendler now has a copy. This is Hoge and Krendler's fault because of...
    Sorry. Try again. Hoge wants NO contact with Schmalfeldt, so Bill sends him a picture of Bill's wife in the hospital. Naturally this puts Hoge in jeopardy because...

    Even when I type it slowly, I still don't understand. A powerful mix of stupid and evil.

    1. Yeah, I'm having a hard time following what he's even complaining about. let alone what sending people mail they don't want proves.

      1. He thunks he's outsmarted everybody (including the rocket scientist).


      2. He's like a cat that's decided to claw apart that fuzzy snake that's following it.

    2. Try again.

      Hoge wants NO contact with Schmalfeldt, with court cases to prove it, so Bill sends him a picture of Bill's wife in the hospital. He CC's six other people. 20 minutes later he sends the same picture to an unrelated third party, who (presumably) shares it with her husband. Naturally this puts Hoge in jeopardy because....

      Nope, doesn't help. Doesn't help Bill's case, that is.

      Lemme try it again. Dumbfucks gotta dumbfuck.


      so I'm going with "maybe?"

  9. Geez Krendler, where is your DOOM clock?

    In the meanwhile, there are many things to ponder.

    I wonder who took the picture. I mean it could be anyone. You see it all the time: people popping into the hospital rooms of dying strangers to take candid photos.

    I wonder if anyone filed a copyright on the picture before it was published.

    If the picture is under copyright, I wonder what may be fair use.

    I wonder if there is a feldtchart in the making, proving once again, and indisputably this time, that Grady is Krendler. After all, if the picture was sent to A (and perhaps others), but it ends up in the hands of B, that proves A = B because forwarding and attaching are impossible.

    We really must find a word more powerful than DUMBFUCK.

    1. "I wonder who took the picture. I mean it could be anyone. You see it all the time: people popping into the hospital rooms of dying strangers to take candid photos. "



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