145 thoughts on “Cabin Boy Comedy dot com”

  1. First! Goody! A chance to post crap on his blog. The Cabin Comedy is a brain damaged skinsack of unguided and pointless hatred that can't read, comprehend, analyze, or synthesize better than your average door knob. Can't even pet the dog or smell the horse shit without injuring himself.

    1. Is this the Florida felon Kyle Kiernan, or the Pat Grady Kyle Kiernan, or the Paul Krendler Klye Kiernan?

      1. Kyle, are you sure it's not the other one? Or the other other one? Or that one we only talk about on the Sooper Sekrit Site that No Longer Exists?

  2. If you are here as a result of being redirected from the Cabin Boy's feed; Welcome.
    You shouldn't really be viewing his lies and public displays of his psychosis.
    You are among friends.
    I ask that you Google Bill Schmalfeldt.
    It will all be crystal clear after that.

  3. Bill Schmalfeldt ‏@CabinBoyBilly 10m10 minutes ago
    Good idea! Have 'em "Google" me and see who writes the hateful shit about me and who writes the supportive stuff.

    Excellent idea. The two sets shake out as Everyone and No One.

    Bill Schmalfeldt ‏@CabinBoyBilly 9m9 minutes ago
    When you do a Google search on my name and see all the hate, other than a single misunderstood Daily Kos article, you will see it's all RWNJ

    The misunderstanding on the Daily Kos seems to be "how does this vile fucker keep sneaking back in here after we boot his ass?"

    1. About that "only one":



      I urge anyone on the fence about Bill to read the first link.

      1. I find it incredibly hard to believe that anyone reads his vile screeds other than those looking to screencap evidence for possible future charges and/or trial(s). However, just in case another left-leaning friend does stumble across his content theft and follows it back to this blog, may I strongly suggest taking the time to read the comments on the nasty ramblings Perry linked above?

        The adjudicated stalker and harasser, slapped with multiple restraining orders by multiple judges in multiple states (not likely all right-leaning), won't allow this particular fact to interfere with his delusions but it remains a fact that several nice people who post here and at Hoge's are registered democrats, with a few being very left of center.

        Yes, it appears to me that most around here range from right to very, very far right, but we don't argue politics with our democrat friends. We tacitly agree to disagree. Off the top of my head, a popular poster, gmhowell, is a democrat, iirc.

      2. I urge anyone considering giving Schmalfeldt the slightest benefit of the doubt to go read the late Mr. Malone's blog. https://runwolf.wordpress.com/tag/bill-schmalfeldt/

      3. Yes, another good source, viewfromnl. I'd suggest the curious read the freakshow's own archives, but he deletes/hides them regularly. However, there are numerous examples of his blatant dishonesty in the archives at Hogewash! and here (TMZ).

        In fact, the new reader will likely run across the multiple adjudicated harasser and adjudicated stalker's own admission that his own words can't be trusted. The Elkridge Horror blames his admitted dementia for his expected lapses, but we've all seen too much that could only be deliberate to accept his dementia excuse.

        If anyone has a link handy, unlucky readers who accidently run across Tub'O's ravings may find that admission informative.

  4. I'll bet the USPS guys wish they had the chance to chip on Operation "Poopular Fella".

    They may very well be passing the hat as we speak for another round.

  5. If Mr. Bill enjoys scraping up posts from this blog instead of creating his on content, perhaps he will like this—


  6. Looks like Dumbass has activated the honey pot trap on his scrape and shifted the links to a site that wants to exchange data with your PC. Wondered when he would pull that gag. Guess he wants to flex fail doxy skills again.

  7. https://twitter.com/CabinBoyBilly/status/541640035301593089

    Why is Bill talking to himself?

      1. Along with being banned from the Daily Kos, didn't multiply adjudicated harasser and stalker, slapped with multiple restraining/peace orders signed by multiple judges in multiple states, Bill Schmalfeldt also get banned from the Democrat Underground, or was it a different lefty site?

    1. Yes. He implied he did, then he said his wife did, and now he's the one who opened it. Where's the alleged vomiting incident?
      Getting manure in the mail is bad enough, there is no need to distort or embellish the tale, yet he does. Why?

      1. Indeed Reader there is no need to embellish(lie). But how many lies have there been?

        1. Who opened the package?
        2. Did anyone vomit?
        3. Did it cause the injury to his head?
        4. Was it labeled as horseshit?
        5. Did it indicate danger or gag gift?
        6, 7, 8,.... How many and why.

      2. Like it's said that a shark must continue to swim to stay alive, the freakshow must continue to lie to be able to live, at least with himself. Suddenly becoming self-aware and/or suddenly realizing he has had a conscience all along would probably kill him; either from the shock, or by his own hand.

        Could any normal, sane person live with finding out they were anything like him; or if the excuses they'd used for years, "journalism tricks" or "retaliation" or whatever became as transparent to themselves as they'd been to others all along?

  8. What a crackpot! (Which, I'm sure, is also what the authorities will say...)

    "I believe a case could also be made for assault and/or battery, and committing a terroristic (sic) act."

    Perhaps he was grounded in reality at some point in his life (which I highly doubt), but he's certainly koo-koo for Cocoa Puffs now!

  9. He forgets the message he left on my answering machine.

    Totally slipped his mind

    Also there is an ingredient deck on the bottom of the container - which also may have been shrink wrapped - if so, and the vendor confirms it was shrink wrapped - well so much for the theory that it wasn't properly packaged

    So it was bubble wrapped, probably shrink wrapped and in a sealed container and probably had an ingredient deck either with it or attached to the bottom.

    And its been in his care for over a week now - so its not admissible - in fact its probably wasn't admissible when he decided to open it

    The great tubbyware caper is over

    1. He keeps avoiding the question as to how the authorities will find out just who sent it.

      An anonymous bit coin transaction, in Slov....Eastern Europe, and no other leads. Good luck with that one. And that's leaving aside that the legal beef that he's articulating at the present time has drifted from "caused to be sent" to the package being improperly packed.

      Quite a legal hill for him to waddle up.

      1. Of course, it's quite possible probable that he's counting on the authorities being unable to trace it. Grace made a compelling case in an earlier thread.

        And if one thinks about it, the incident seems to cover some of his most frequent obsessions including faux-victimhood, the butt stuff/excrement; pretending to have some legal authority; threats made possibly to extort info, some of which he's sought for years; more claims of police involvement, investigations, and impending DOOM for his enemies; etc. etc. etc.

        In fact, one could say the shipment is demented, creeptastic, Bill in a nutshell tupperware.


      2. "...Quite a legal hill for him to waddle roll up."

        FIFY, Perry. Although upon reflection, it's probably a combination of both - waddling behind his walker. 😉

      3. EPWJ - Well, the person who ordered would know the payment method, right? So add that to the list of indications he sent it himself.

    2. According to the video (reviewing the "ShitExpress" dot com product) that Perry posted, there is to be a label adhered to the bottom of the container explicitly stating the contents are "Horse Manure. 100% Organic Fertilizer."

      Now, Bill Schmalfeldt tweeted out pics of the packaging and the container. He tweeted the pics numerous times. But, in all of those tweets... I cannot for the life of me recall seeing a single one being of the underside of the container.


  10. https://twitter.com/CabinBoyBilly/status/541646287087472641

    Not to be a pedant, but yes Bill, someone DID get to mail MANURE to your home.

  11. His memory issues are getting much worse... or is this an example of trying to close the barn door after the horse gets out? hahahahaha


    One of these days, I'll look at his twitter and get further than the first few before I'm laughing too much to continue reading. I'll never understand what he gets out of thoroughly humiliating himself daily. But why look a gift horse shit in the mouth? hahahaha

    At least he's not calling his trailer a house today. Yet. hahahahaha


  12. Bill Schmalfeldt @CabinBoyBilly · 3h 3 hours ago
    Good idea! Have 'em "Google" me and see who writes the hateful shit about me and who writes the supportive stuff.

    Supportive? Has anybody seen any "supportive" links on Google, other than things he's written himself.

    1. No.

      Well, wait a second. Hasn't that creepy, little, anklebiter Pet Willy Fergie blogged support for his blubbering, boy-pal Billy on that ridiculous, poor-attempt-at-trying-to-"own"-Hoge blog?

      Meh. I could be wrong. Again... nice "friends," Blobby.

      1. Oh. And, we mustn't forget about that intellectually-dishonest joke of a Karoli.

        But, then again, she's pretty much since told Blob to "pound sand."

        So... I'll stick with my original answer to your question, Perry... "No."

  13. https://twitter.com/CabinBoyBilly/status/541679438753439744

    So writes the apologist of perjurer, forger, terrorist bomber, drug dealer, vexatious litigant Brett Kimberlin. The "man" who refuses to make good on a debt handed down by the court to a widow.

    1. Wait, wait. Supporting a woman who wants out of a marriage that was established in contradiction to State Child Abuse laws = supports adultery?

      1. Kimberlin is a convicted perjurer, so William, being William, believes whatever Brett tells him. It's that passion for truth that has put him exactly where he is today.

  14. https://twitter.com/CabinBoyBilly/status/541684750583603203

    Don't be silly Willy, you have no soul.

  15. Cousin Bill is losing it, and revealing plays right out of his playbook:

    "The key is to get a smart guy pissed off. Insult his manhood. Mock him. He will then have to reclaim his manhood by being a tuff guy."

    We've seen you try this one, many times, Cousin Bill.

    Hasn't worked yet...

    But you get horseshit in the mail, and suddenly you're Mr. Tuff Guy, all bluster and threats...


    Welcome to our playbook, Twatwaffle Bill!

  16. Bill Schmalfeldt @CabinBoyBilly · 21m 21 minutes ago
    And now, I believe I need to send a copy of that e-mail to the security folks at @NASAGoddard so they know what to expect.

    Oh yes, William! Contacting the clients of someone who has a sanding peace order against you is going to end swimmingly! Keep on keeping on, old boy.

    Did I mention that it's your biologically programmed self-destruct function that makes me love you so?

    1. Does this remind anyone else of an only slightly more mature version of "I'm telling your mother!"?

      1. umm, what part of this would you call "mature"? I call it an awfully childish temper tantrum for the sole purpose of being the "victim."

        "One of you will pretend to drown and the other of you will swim out to help them" - camp counsellor

        "I'll be the victim!" - BS

        "All your life..." - Wednesday Addams

  17. And I'd like to be on the record as stating that whoever set William his Christmas present should get the Presidential Medal Freedom for the dancing its inspired. Nothing less than a Kennedy Center Honor.

    1. Let us wait until we get a real president again. And the possible throat cancer was so promising.

      Turns out our current "Resident" was only suffering from Rod Stewart diease

  18. You know, mornings are probably slow down at the police station. I have to imagine the dialogue down there over the first round of doughnuts.

    "Hey everybody. Anything new today from the Idiot."

    "Yes, indeed, it's a doozy. He wants, no he demands, that we investigate who sent him a tub of badly packed horseshoes."

    "Horseshoes? Wasn't it a tub of horse SHIT?"

    "That was yesterday. The correction came in this morning's mail. He also sent a picture of himself after he opened the tub. It looks as though one of the horseshoes hit him on the noggin. See his theory of the case is that it's assault with a deadly weapon and interstate solicitation of murder to mail horseshoes packed not lawfully packed because if you open the package while holding it over your head to read the unpacking directions on the bottom, horseshoes are bound to rain on your head in a potentially lethal fashion."

    "Do we have suspects?"

    "Oh the usual, the nuclear hog, the mystery man Krendler, Howard Not, and of course the pony thief plus a new one, some librarian up in New England or Slovakia or maybe Slovenia. Very dangerous crew. Oh and the Krendler has been summoning demons or genies or something and soliciting naked women to beat the Idiot to death. This plot gets deeper by the day. I'm hoping the sarge sends me to interview the naked women."

    "Whatever are we going to do?

    "Well first stop rolling around on the floor like that. It's undignified for a cop to giggle like a schoolgirl. The sarge sees you, he'll have a coronary. But anyway, Sarge says that he is turning it over to the feebies: fed to fed you know. And it is international after all. Stuff sent through the US mail from overseas, someplace called Bratwurst, I think it is."

    1. I'm starting a class-action suit to go after JeffM here for the replacement of my computer monitor. I'm sure most of you are in. I'll be in touch.

      Very well done, sir.

    2. I agree with Perry, my lunch ended up on my screen from laughing too hard! I think a little Windex can fix my problem...well said, Jeff!

      1. Don't use Windex or similar cleaners on your LCD. If you don't have a cleaner designed for displays, use a soft 100% cotton cloth and distilled water.

  19. Bill Schmalfeldt @CabinBoyBilly · 2m 2 minutes ago
    What I propose is perfectly legal. I propose to copy your comments, along with my story, and send them to your local media.

    I have every confidence that the media will eat this shit up. I can only imagine the headlines in, say, the Daily Mail. "Baltimore Shit-Hoarder Strikes Back!"

    If only my fantasy life were as rich as William's. Although, that probably has something to do with the cause of death of all his relations: shame.

    Do go on, dear boy!

  20. Bill Schmalfeldt @CabinBoyBilly · 2m 2 minutes ago
    Kneel and Bob thinks that having a peace order against me means I can't report a suspected crime.

    Oh, you couldn't be more mistaken, me lad. I encourage you to go down this path. Please, please continue.

  21. https://twitter.com/CabinBoyBilly/status/541686642659307520

    Read your comment, stupid. You are outraged at the possibility that someone knows someone who knows who sent you horse manure, yet you don't seem to be outraged that your "excellent friend" is on probation and is running from a million dollar judgement against him. He is scum of the earth and you have embraced your job of apologist for him. Hell, you wouldn't even know Hoge's name if you didn't go after him after he had the temerity of reporting on one of Kimberlin's many forays into the legal system. You attacked Hoge for reporting on Kimberlin. So, no sympathy for you.

    And I can't help but notice that you have yet to offer a single shred of proof that someone posting on this blog or Hogewash has had anything to do with send you a gag gift. Here's a clue, nobody here knows.

    How dumb are you?

    1. But, but (yeah I know always the but stuff); I was under the impression that Brett Kimberlin is a pedophile

  22. Here's what I imagine the headline to be in the Slovak Spectator; "Crazed American Shuns Slovak Shit, imagines Raping Boy Scouts."

  23. Bill Schmalfeldt @CabinBoyBilly · 24s 25 seconds ago


    Sadly, William's study of military tactics didn't extend much past the Italian.

    "Retreat, surrender, live as international laughing stock."

  24. https://twitter.com/CabinBoyBilly/status/541692381180211202

    You idiot, we've seen video of someone opening a container of the manure, and it is clear you are grossly exaggerating your experience. It's horse manure in a tupperware container. It isn't wet, or smelly.

    Grow up.

    1. Honest answer, Shakey.

      I would open the package. Not my wife. If addressed to me, I open it.
      My reaction; "Motherfucker! That's a good one. My turn now."

      Then go about TOPPING the gag.

      But you are such a pussy, Shakey.

      And again. You have no juice, Never have, Never will.

      I didn't send the shit. But as stated earlier, only because someone thought of it first.

      Now go eat a .45, ya fucking loser.

  25. My favorite part of William's ongoing correspondence with the authorities is that at some point he invariably says "I understand why you ignored me all of those other times."

    He's so inefficient as a prosecutor that he leaves no need for a defense. I wonder where he learned that from?

  26. Bill Schmalfeldt @CabinBoyBilly · 13s 14 seconds ago
    As you've seen, I've contacted every official I know of who can do something about this. We're in a war against terror, @brainsrfood.

    "This is exactly like 9/11, but smellier!"

  27. I wonder if Bill has ever pondered the fact that multiple websites advertise sending manure to people by mail and none of them have ever been shut down, and the USPS continues to deliver their shipments. It's almost like it isn't against the law.....or something.

  28. And now we see Willy's story start falling apart:

    Willy, if it said "contains horseshit" on it, why the HELL did you open it?

    And I tried to get in contact with the officer, but he's out sick, something about a "severe case of the giggles".

    Hope he's alright.

    1. LOLOLOL!


      And, viewfromnl refers to it as #Poopgate in another tweet! HA! His timeline is epic! Calling Blob out on his horseshit one tweet after another. LOL!

  29. Bill Schmalfeldt @CabinBoyBilly · 2m 2 minutes ago
    Now, please. Stop wasting my time and start working on your excuses for when the feds contact you.

    It's challenges like that that make me wish I was American. What an exciting conversation that would be!

  30. Tučný nemilovali svoju cenu. Je to voňalo o nič horšie ako jeho plienky, ktorý je tiež nesprávne zabalený. Teraz bude slávny v amerických novinách!

      1. Čo je to za človeka, dostane balík označený ako horseshit a jeho žena otvoriť?

  31. Americká polícia a stlačte nemajú nič lepšie na práci, než sledovať slovenské hovno? Aká krajina!

  32. "And then I hurt my head when I was trying to put my pee-pee into Craven's pooter. The Sea Hag had never reacted that violently. I was SHOCKED. Perhaps a regimen of Thorazine is in order for that pooch, too. The good news is that while I was prone, I finally retrieved that elusive candy wrapper that injured me this summer."

  33. No, dummy, they aren't going to be concerned with ANY of this. That company probably mails several containers of manure a day to people in the US- do you honestly think this is the first time some hysterical nincomPOOP called them about it?


    1. You can tell that point has him befuddled, because he clams up and disappears every time someone brings it up.

      1. I mean, really, if this was the infamous crime Shakey seems to think it is, and we can safely assume this isn't the first time the postal inspectors have dealt with it, why in heck would ICE be letting it through? How difficult would it be for ICE to simply refuse to accept any mail coming from a certain address in Slovakia?

    2. They will know who "may have contaminated USPS facilities" as soon as they look at the envelope. Somebody in Slovakia.

  34. William is a lunatic, with delusions of both persecution and grandeur. Just for fun, we should all go back and count the number of people that he's promised to have incarcerated in just the last 90 days. I would be shocked if it was less than ten. Sane people don't act that way.

    As a matter of fact, wasn't it just seven days ago that William declared it his "Christian duty" to forgive and forget this incident? Is he admitting that he's a lousy Christian, or is he just so manic that he forgot all about it?

    1. It's sad that none of the people who care for him will do the right thing and curb his internet access. It seems to be the source of most of his problems. (Other than PD, of course.)

      1. I'm with JeffM - absolutely no one cares for him - how could anyone? hahahaha Good one, samk! That's even funnier than him repeatedly referring to his "family" and "house." hahahaha No doubt his caretaker encourages him to stay on the internet or whatever to keep him on the other side of the trailer.

      2. If he wasn't harassing people on the internet, Gail would have to actually deal with him on a daily basis. Can we really blame her for what is obviously a survival tactic?

    2. Silly Neal... that was his "reality" last week! This is a whole new week. Expect a whole new "reality" next week. hahahahaha

      1. Yep. Looks like good, old, preachy "Christian Blob" has done run out of cheeks to turn.

        Or, he's simply a demented, old liar and drama queen.

  35. PD, Senators, Inspector General, oh my!

    When will Obama urge O'Malley to call up the National Guard?

  36. "They have to get to Hoge first."

    Right. What's the over/under on how long the USPS investigators stay at Hoge's house when he informs them that he has/had a PO against you, Bill? How many questions do you think Hoge has to answer without his attorney present? How long after the investigators leave Hoge's house before the police are at your house for a talk about your use of third parties to Harass Hoge?

    You haven't thought this through.

    1. Speaking of lack of explanations, has Bill ever explained just what Hoge has to do with all this?

      Given the PO, that's a pretty important question.

      1. Something like Hoge knows who Krendler is and Krendler knows who Heather is and Heather sent the manure. So to start off they need to talk to Hoge and force him to give up Krendler. Or something near to that, IIRC. TBH, I may not RC!

    2. He has not even begun to think this through.

      Postal investigator: Is there anyone that you know of who might have some reason to do you harm?

      PI: WHAT! I can't lift that much paper. Have a dolley handy, do ya?

      PI: Great, the car is sitting a little low, but I'll be OK if I take it slow and avoid any potholes.
      Now I'm a little confused here. You were sure Eric did it before you were sure that Howard did it, but now you are not sure who did it, but you are sure Hoge knows who did it. I gotta tell you: if Hoge pleads the Fifth, I'm not sure I can get him immunity so he will be forced to disclose. You know the union takes contaminating the facilities very seriously so we can't go lightly on sending terror weapons through the mails. My God if someone got a whiff of what you say it smelled like, there would forty or fifty guys going postal at once.

      PI Oh you say the librarian knows too. Not too bright you say. We can squeeze her and she will squeal. But I'm a little unclear on what we have to squeeze her with.

      You don't say. Unfortunately, THAT is out of my jurisdiction. You will have to take that up with Amazon.

  37. Been peeking in here and there in between a busy work weekend. I have to say that the Elkridge Troll is outdoing himself on the stupid this weekend. Does he think any of this shit through?

    The fact that the company that sent Dumb William his hysterically funny present is still in business would seem to indicate that what they do is perfectly legal. Our Most Stupid William seems to overlook this fact. Likewise he seems to think that he can demand that Senators, the FBI, Postal Inspectors, et al. bend to his demands. I don't think Ignorant William understands that people don't jump just because he demands it.

    I still think that our very Stupid friend is such a coward and pathetic excuse for a man (see hiding from Hoge by not showing in court, hiding from Grady by now showing in court, never following up on his threats, making his wife open a package labeled Horse Shit, etc) that he has built himself a fantasy life where he gets to demand things and everyone just complies because our Moronic William is just the awsomez.

    So I have a challenge for the World's Stupidest Man Bill Schmalfeldt. Do you promise that if Howard, the man you keep accusing of sending your very funny present, is found not to have sent it, of if there is no investigation at all, you will leave the internet. No twitter, no blogs, no emails, nothing. Just leave. Quit. No more. Never return. I mean you were already challenged to send a letter to the man you claim is Kyle, but we all know you don't have the courage to do that. So have the courage to accept this one. You think you are so smart? Put your internet access where your mouth is. Or you could just admit you are a huge failure right now and publicly apologize to Hoge, Krendler, Eric, Howard, Librarygriffon, etc. A public apology. On Twitter and your blog. That you swear to never delete. So Bill, how much of a man are you? Man enough to admit you are making shit up?

    1. "...making shit up" hahahaha ISWYDT and yes, that's what I'd bet on. Are we even sure there was a package sent to him?? hahahaha

  38. "Trying to convince stupid people they are stupid is a fool's errand. They'll just have to find out on their own."

    Which is why we've stopped trying to convince you and now mostly just wish you'd be institutionalized.

  39. B S 5h 5 hours ago
    Honestly, I can't see the Inspector General of the USPS giving a damn about my Daily Kos column or the other hate screeds written by RWNJs.

    Is he trying to suggest that his DK column was written by a RWNJ? Is he also admitting that the anal rape fantasy was a "hate screed"? If those weren't what he meant, he should have left out the "other".

  40. On the webz. Are you listenin'?
    They sent him shit.
    Now he's bristlin.

    Since last Saturday night.
    We've laughed at Scmuck's plight.

    He opened it and got shit on his hand.

    Called the cops.
    "They aren't laughin'"
    I hear they've gone
    To triple staffin'.

    The crime of the year.
    Nowhere but there.

    He opened it and got shit on his hand.

    Slovokia is known for sending dooty.
    Slovenia would probably send some 'round.

    Before long he'll be back on Boy Scout booty.

    Then BOOM he'll fall mid-diddling of his hound.

    Epic LULZ.
    We never tire.

    Just like a pyre.

    He'll never be sure.

    He opened it and got shit on his hand.

    1. Howard... YOU. ARE. EPICALLY. AWESOME! LOL!

      I hope and pray that one day life affords me the opportunity to buy you numerous drinks of your choice, my friend!

    2. Howard, you Magnificent hunk of man you... Best. Version. Ever. Maybe best song ever. hahahaha LOL LOL LOLOLOL

    3. Dang, Howardearl, the ladies are into the wit. Who would have thought that a great sense of humor was so attractive?

      Somebody else that's into anal rape and jokes about pedophilia might want to take notice. Could have kept him from being Maryland's worst cuckold . . .

  41. Here's another review of Shit Express:


    The author didn't like it because the contents did smell bad enough. Yet more proof Bill is lying.

    (I know, I know)


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