Be Careful What You Ask For

Back in August, I wrote:

This is what it means to have friends. You attack one, you attack us all. The enemies you have made…are EVERYWHERE.

Then, just last month, after filing a second petition for a Peace Order (a CHICKENSHIT remedy, he calls it, now that he has CHICKENED OUT on both of them), he summed up his post announcing that filing with this oft-repeated bit of false bravado:

See? You wanted to fuck, Patrick. So? Let’s fuck.

I guess he did not take the lesson to heart about attacking people with friends. Which is sort of strange for all of his past braggadocio about going to peoples’ houses backed up by his brothers to beat people up that he wasn’t sure he could take man to man (or was it “fed to fed?” *snerk*).

In any case it sure looks like someone on the side of Team Lickspittle has had some fun at his expense. It was as exquisitely hilarious as it was vulgar and tasteless. I wish I knew who did it; I’d find a liquor store near them and send a gift card. It was both inspired and inspiring.

And hopefully, this time the lesson will stick: if you ask someone if they want to fuck, don’t be so stunned when the answer is an unexpected and surprising “YES” from a shocking direction.


28 thoughts on “Be Careful What You Ask For”

  1. Last night was the fastest transition from God's Own Thunder to Above It All Bill yet. It usually takes three or four days. Last night, it was less than an hour.

    I think William's brain is rapidly liquefying.

  2. I think he really thinks he is above any consequences of his own actions. I have no idea who sent that hilarious gag gift, but Bill should think long and hard about all the people he's pissed off going years back to when he was threatening a woman with losing her kids. Hell, Bill threatened a guy because the guy simply "liked" a post on Facebook. What kind of a man does that? He's harassed and threatened so many people that the list of them and their friends who would have done this of a gag on him must number in the thousands.

    And yes, he did go from threats and proclamations of DOOM!!!!11!!!! to his usual end state of submission and cowardice pretty quickly. Wonder if Kimby fessed up to sending it? Or maybe Wee Willy? That would explain his sudden pussification.

  3. "you want to fuck Eric?" Lets strap on the rubbers and get to the fucking"
    -Bill Schmalfeldt, Stimulated since 2007

    Classic Bill, I have the gleeful and giddy audio of him gloating on my answer machine that we needed to have a conversation and yada yada yada and I need to yada yada yada

    Those calls, the tweets of threats of jail unless I do x and then the forging of horrible noxious passages in my name for his gain...

    I would never send him anything but a summons.

    1. That is a creepy challenge, given that his genitals haven't functioned in half a decade. I'm also more than a little queasy that I know that.

  4. A friend of mine who sent the "are they sure the tub is not his mother's ashes" - chimed in today with: The whole saga could be the "who has the key to the wardroom" hint strawberries

  5. I have a tiny nit to pick - I don't think there's any evidence that the person(s) who sent the package has ever even heard of Lickspittles, or they're sympathetic to them, if so. A lot of people have posted their belief that the sender was either the multiply adjudicated harasser and adjudicated stalker, or a member of TK to rile up their puppet.

    That he didn't open the package himself was one of the most cited supporting facts, if one can accept any claim by the demented freak as a "fact" even in this matter.

      1. My main objection to suspecting any of us or anyone sympathetic to us is that I don't think any of us care enough about him to go to the trouble and expense. I've seen two different costs listed, $15 and $16.95, which isn't a ton of money to anyone, but it's not nothing, either.

        It seems a lot more likely that any of us would have hit a tip jar or Bomber Sues Bloggers to donate rather than spend it on a multiply adjudicated harasser, adjudicated stalker, repeated cuckold who has been roundly and repeatedly rejected throughout his miserable life. Perhaps even more notable than his own children's rejection of him is the rejection as an advocate and donor to a large Parkinson's charity.

        How demented and depraved must one be to be rejected by a charity? None of us can lay claim to such an "accomplishment" just as none of us have been slapped with multiple restraining/peace orders from multiple states. SMH

        It would be his own private hell to be cursed with self-awareness.

      2. PS -

        Of course, all the above is premised on the fact that no one could have predicted such a spectacular and hilarious flame-out. He'd possibly get a new shipment every week if a similar result could be guaranteed. hahahaha

      3. My precautionary warning stands and should be forever heeded.

        Keep them LULZ muscles limbered up at all times.

        There were a number of you who suffered needless LULZ injuries this weekend. This is unfortunate and unnecessary.

    1. True enough. Can you imagine how he gets along with his neighbours in the trailer park given how insane he is with people on the other side of the country.

    1. LOL! Too, too funny, Perry!

      Like myself, and quite a few others have accurately noted... the list of suspects is looooong (and, of course this is assuming the dumb dope didn't send the package to himself). Blob is the master of making himself some enemies -- and, his enemies have sympathizers and supporters and families and friends.

      Tis the only damn thing the Demented Freak has managed to master successfully in his whole pathetic, useless life.

      Can you imagine the lies and exaggerations and bullspit his poor neurologist had to listen to today? Good grief.

      Speaking of his doctor -- I'm curious... if someone were to forward to his doctor/s a big, thick, well-documented file containing all of the Deranged Cyberstalker's abuse, threats, and antics... would he/she/they be under any professional obligation to address the information and take any action of any kind?

  6. " if you ask someone if they want to fuck, don’t be so stunned when the answer is an unexpected and surprising “YES” from a shocking direction." Having a fucking end up with a bunch of unexpected fecal matter is far from 'shocking'; judging by the writing, it is Bill's most desired outcome.

      1. Here's the Cabin Boy National Anthem, straight from the Poop Deck!


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