This may or may not be a Bonus Earworm; mostly it’s an excuse to say “Mocky Mock and the Funky Bunch.”
Because fresh, delicious mockery is called for, and I’m not feeling it right now, let this be your point and laugh open thread.
But before I post, I will offer a couple alternate theories to contrast the dastardly crime spree that the World’s Worst Internet Investigator (Johnny Fatsign?) posits.
Alternate Theory #1
Johnny Fatsign has it wrong because he is making connections where none exist.
Alternate Theory #2
Johnny Fatsign has it wrong because he is being played. He has been getting played for three years. He has been getting played so hard and so thoroughly that he gets confused when he ISN’T being played.
Alternate Theory #3
Johnny Fatsign has it wrong because #JohnnyFatsignIsBATSHITCRAZY.
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