Why I “Quit” My Day Job

When I conned my way into the post of program director and morning show host at KGYN in Guymon, OK, it was with the understanding that KGYN was a conservative talk station in a conservative area and I would need to focus on doing a happy news morning radio show and keep my flaming Godless communist opinions to myself. At first, it was easy. I spent the first three months silently laughing at my co-workers and my listeners. But as we got closer to the midterms, I started to use my Twitter page as a liberal platform, which quite understandably pissed off the bosses. I had also temporarily been the station manager while the post was vacant, but when that happened, they made a “hurry up” hire to get someone – anyone – in house that could rein me in.

He took the keys to the station Twitter account away from me on September 15. You’ll notice it hasn’t been updated since. He also made me take all references to the station off of my personal Twitter account. I used to be @BillMathewsKGYN with logos and call letters and slogans all over my bio. I took that all down and became the very generic @GuymonRadioGuy.

Another thing that bothered me was the way April Coble had total freedom on Twitter to be her liberal self.  Oh, I grifted her real good, too. She told me about all the lickspittles she blocked out of hand when they tried to tell her about my previous exploits as a cyberstalker, just like I told her they would.

The real problem was that, as program director, it became obvious that the syndicated hosts on the station, in the wake of the Kavanaugh confirmation, were now using the Alinsky “By Any Means Necessary” playbook that had served us progressives so well in the Obama years.  They had finally figured out that the way to cling to power was to punch back twice as hard as the Democrats, lie twice as much as Claire McCaskill, DiFi and Chuck Schumer, and scare the GOP base in the same way we’ve been scaring African Americans out to the pools for the last 50 plus years.

Oh, and get the economy roaring again. And cut taxes. And drop unemployment below 4%. And create more job openings than there are unemployed people on the books to fill them.

Fucking Trump. #OrangeManBad

At KGYN, right-wing thought prevails. Mike Gallagher is on the air from 9 until 11. The white supremacist Laura Ingraham is on from noon until 2. The right wing goofball Joe Pags is on from 5 until 8. That’s 7 hours out of the broadcast day devoted to rational thought, and as program director, I had to sit there and listen to all of it. Everybody thinking and using logic and reason…I had no idea what they were talking about. I just knew it made my fee-fees hurt. I couldn’t wait to get home, turn on MSNBC and watch the Antifa mobs harassing people in the streets of New York and chasing them out of restaurants in Washington and dragging them out of their cars in Portland before being challenged and running away like I did from Maryland to Wisconsin in 2015. And all the Kavanaugh protesters disrupting the hearings – AND GETTING PAID TO DO IT! Lucky fuckers. I can’t wait for the impeachment hearings. I love peaches…

What was I talking about? Oh yeah.

But I was staying up until four in the morning watching MSNBC just to wash the conservative thought out of my brain and replace it with muh libruhl feeeeeels. I wasn’t getting any sleep, and Ream-o of the Jerks was getting upset with me. She wanted to get married, she wanted new teeth, she wanted, this, that, and the other thing, she wouldn’t shut the fuck up!

Finally – AND THIS IS WHERE YOU CAN TELL I’M LYING – it was the Elizabeth Warren controversy that finally pushed me off the fence. You see, I was the program director at this station. It was my job to keep it on the air so that the local yokels can hear content they enjoy and patronize the advertisers who sponsor that content and pay my sub-minimum wage, and I knew that going in. But keeping the power on for these Okie dumbasses was just too much.

The new station manager could tell I was on the verge of going postal, so on Monday, he did a very smart thing. I finished my show, and he told me he’s taken the liberty of having my meager belongings packed and driven to the train station in Lubbock, and here’s your ticket. Don’t let the door hit ya where the dog bit ya.

Now I no longer have to put up with the voices of hatred on the radio.

Just my fiancée. And the ones in my own head.

And that will have to do.


Looks Like Someone Is Grounded!

I notice that certified whackadoodle Guymon Radio Guy Bill Schmalfeldt, oops! – I mean, Mathews hasn’t tweeted since October 15th.

I wonder if this gentle swipe at a syndicated host on his station:

pissed off the boss?

Makes you think maybe – just maybe – ol’ DUMBFUCK no longer has the personal freedom to tell his bosses to piss off when they tell him to shut the fuck up about politics.

Maybe – just maybe – he never did.

Maybe – just maybe – he didn’t actually quit with zero notice back in Iowa last year.

Maybe – just maybe – he’s a fucking liar.

Oh, and one more thing. This line from his tweet:

Leave me out of this “we” because he doesn’t talk like I do, or like most thinking people.

I’ll bet I’m not the only one who thinks “people who talk like Bill Schmalfeldt” and “most thinking people” are circles that don’t touch on a Venn diagram.


In Case You Ever Wondered How It Would End

If any of Bill Schmalfeldt’s EIGHT FAILED FEDERAL LAWSUITS had gone to trial, they likely would have ended in this way:

A woman who claimed to have incurred more than $300,000 in medical bills after a truck backed into her car, walked out of a DeKalb County courtroom with nothing after defense testimony showed that she swapped out the scarcely damaged car before police arrived with another that had been wrecked years earlier.

— snip —

During a four-day trial, Welborn said he presented testimony from an orthopedic surgeon who had treated Mathis for lower back pain after the 2001 wreck and a chiropractor she had seen, and from a family friend who testified that Mathis had ongoing back problems.

Jackson did not allow evidence about the miscarriage to come in after her OB/GYN deposed that the accident had nothing to with it, Welborn said.

Mathis maintained throughout that she had been driving the Sable and didn’t recall the earlier accidents, he said.

Her sister wasn’t much help either, giving varying accounts of when she arrived at the scene and who was present, Welborn said.

When your claim is horseshit, a jury will smell it like…well, like a big pile of horseshit in an elevator. And we all know that’s ever Bill Schmalfeldt ever had, was a big tub of Slovenian horseshit, and the case of fake butthurt it caused him.


Obviously There Is Only One Option

To get at the truth, the Democrats require only that Judge Kavanaugh be dunked in a barrel of water for 15 minutes to determine whether or not he is guilty of the sexual misconduct allegations they’ve trumped up against him.

If he dies, well, obviously he was innocent. Oops.

If he lives, then he’s guilty.  BURN  THE WITCH!!


Thursday’s Senate Judiciary Hearing

As I view the current schedule, the most recent letter from Dr. Ford’s lawyer to Chairman Grassley, and the opinions of the learned national punditry, I believe the situation stands thus:

There is a hearing scheduled for 10 AM Eastern time Thursday.  The first scheduled witness is Dr. Ford, to be followed by Judge Kavanaugh.

However, Dr. Ford is making noises and further requests regarding who shall question her and the manner in which she shall be interrogated (particularly, she seems unwilling to be questioned by a former sex crimes prosecutor). She also appears to be concerned about the fairness of the process after a recent floor speech by Cocaine Mitch, who called this smear job exactly what it is – a smear job. Without reference to any of the Democratic members of the Judiciary Committee who have recently gone on record either implying or stating outright that Kavanaugh should not be entitled to the presumption of innocence before these accusations, Dr. Ford feels that McConnell’s characterization impugns the “fairness” of the process.

It is to laugh.

The punditry appears of unified opinion.  She will not show up to be put under oath on Thursday. She will ask for a delay, because that is what this is all about for the Democrats:

  1. Delay the nomination (BAMN)
  2. Take back the Senate (BAMN)
  3. Prevent further conservative nominations (BAMN)

And so I say to Chairman Grassley – AMEND THE SCHEDULE

  • Open the hearing at 10:00 AM as scheduled.
  • Call the first witness, Dr. Ford.
  • On failure to appear  before the committee after 5 minutes, end the delays and CALL THE VOTE.