Rule 5 Oscars+

Been a while since I put up a Rule 5 post. Busy, busy, busy.

I thought I’d put a little Oscar eye candy out there for y’all. Let’s start with the Best Actress nominees.

Marion Cotillard:
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Felicity Jones:
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Rosamund Pike:
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Reese Witherspoon:
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And the Oscar goes to…

Julianne Moore!
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And our Best Supporting Actress nominees:

Laura Dern:
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Keira Knightley:
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Emma Stone:
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Meryl Streep:
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And the Oscar goes to…

Patricia Arquette!
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Now, if you notice, there’s one image here that falls just a bit short in the Rule 5 department: Meryl Streep.

She is without doubt the finest and most heralded American actress of the last half century; in my opinion, only Kate Hepburn comes close. But I also think that what aids her tremendous range is her Everywoman quality. She can do everything precisely because of her average appearance. In short, she’s just not Rule 5 material.

So with that in mind, here’s the plus: two of her co-stars from Into The Woods.

Emily Blunt:
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…and Anna Kendrick (because, Anna Kendrick! Duh.):

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Bonus Multipurpose Earworm!

Now, I heard this song just yesterday.  Listening to the lyrics as it wormed its way in, I recalled that this is a song sung from the point of view of a guy who is basically a total loser whining about his lot in life and who thinks he deserves better than what he has.  And I thought, “I KNOW SOMEBODY JUST LIKE THAT!”

So I went looking for a good YouTube clip, and found this absolute GEM, packed full of Rule 5 Goodness!

So, it’s a Bonus Earworm!

It’s a Statement Earworm!

It’s a Rule 5 Earworm!

It’s your basic Multipurpose, Do It All Earworm!

Enjoy.

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By Special Request – Rule 5a – The Ashterah Inclusion

Okay, since she asked so nicely, and because Howard went and scared the stuffing out of her, I decided, as a special treat for ashterah, to bring some ginger beefcake.  In my objective zombie opinion, from least hotness to most:

Cincinnati Bengals QB Andy Dalton:

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Actor Tony Curran, who played Vincent Van Gogh in an episode of Doctor Who, so there’s your tie in:

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Soccer Commentator Alexi Lalas (bonus points for the excellent pornstache):

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WWE Professional Wrestler Seamus (max beefiness):

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And your clubhouse leader, Snowboarder Shaun White (even I have to say the hair is fantastic):

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Don’t get used to this benevolence.  My name is Paul, not Paula.

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Rule 5 – Pin Ups

There are many terrific pin up artists out there. I like pin ups. Mostly I like the classics. Risqué but not explicit. I’m going to make an effort to showcase them on a regular, if limited basis.

Here is a fine example of the work of Gil Elvgren:
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And as a bonus, the iconic photograph of Rita Hayworth from Gilda. If I may say so…ZOWIE!

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Serious Rule 5

I figure it’s about time for a real Rule 5 post around here. In preparation, I reviewed Stacy’s explanation; there is a lot implied about showing a lot of skin, but there is also much to be said for modesty and mystery as well, in a sexy-from-the-neck-up way.

Here are a few favorites:

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P!nk is definitely sexy from the neck up – I just like the attitude she projects, something like, “yes you can take me home tonight, but don’t be surprised when I snap you like a twig.”

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Gia Gadot is a veteran of the Fast and Furious franchise, also set to play Wonder Woman. She’s yummy.

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Cote de Pablo was Ziva David on NCIS for many years, where she toyed with everyone. Another whose modesty impresses. I did not find but one or two bikini shots, and they felt wrong. So I stuck with what has always worked for me, the consumer.

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Padma Lakshmi. Eating bacon. Call this a two-fer.

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The iconic Marilyn Monroe. Followed by two acolytes:

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The unashamedly curvy Christina Hendricks…

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and the smoking hot Kate Upton.

I respect women who defy the conventional wisdom and tell the world “I have curves and I am not afraid to use them.”

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Tried not to objectify Anna Kendrick.

Failed miserably. I’ll muddle through, somehow.

And finally, my first serious Rule 5 effort cannot be complete without a deep bow of respect to The Standard By Which All Pin-Ups Past Present And Future Must Be Measured:

Miss Bettie Page:

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It was so hard to settle on just one Bettie. But that means I can use others later!

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