You Want It Done? You Want It Over? Simple.

Here’s a road map:

1. You surrender and slink off the field like the cowardly weasel you are;
2. I stand victorious, absorbing the accolades of the cheering throngs;
3. After a fortnight of celebration in my camps, coinciding with a fortnight of complete silence from your camp, I withdraw to the border status quo ante, to take up watch;
4. If you remain silent, you remain free, but at the first hint of a desire to renew hostilities, I rejoin the battle and once again bring all my energy and resources to bear.

Or…

We can keep going just like we are now.

I dropped my sword and walked away once, at the request of John Hoge. Remember what happened next? I do.

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So you’ll pardon me if I respond your assurance that you will drop your sword with a) a 50 lb bag of rock salt, b) a hale and hearty GFY, and c) a requirement of 100% compliance with my terms as a condition of your surrender.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

And, taking a page from your book, this is not a negotiation.

If you try to negotiate, the beat goes on.

If you question, the beat goes on.

If you bother anyone else, even somebody I don’t know or care about, the beat goes on.

If you cannot figure out how to control yourself, the beat goes on.

If you want it to stop, then stop it.

All you have to do is quit, and weather the shame of it for 2 weeks, probably less. Easy enough if you just power down and read a nice Danielle Steel or Jackie Collins rag. If you’re half as intelligent as you think you are, you know you are going to have to take that hit – it will come regardless, and I don’t have any power over what people say on Twitter. Yes, I do have power over the comments here, but I made a conscious decision to allow exactly the kind of comments you decry, including from you. I will not change that policy to suit you or anyone else. You dug your own hole here, and you hastened your own exit after being given every chance. You didn’t care enough to answer one question. Your choice. Your action. Your consequence. Your responsibility.

You want a “truce?”

Now you know how to get it.

I hope I have not been unclear.

UPDATE –
https://twitter.com/parkinsonsmedia/status/513031724608266242

https://twitter.com/parkinsonsmedia/status/513031869072703488

Wait…what?

Are you saying you NEVER WERE SERIOUS ABOUT A TRUCE?

Well…color me shocked.

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Reading The Signs

I have done many things in my life. I know I did them. I was there.

I don’t feel a need to brag. I don’t have to point and yell “Hey! Look what I did! Look!”

I did it. I know it. It’s done. I have moved along, as they say (if not do).

There are people out there who DO feel the need to incessantly trumpet their meager “accomplishments” every day of their lives. I don’t think these people are trying to inform anyone of how accomplished they are. I think they crave external validation. They need that pat on the head, the little hug, the “Hey, great job dealing with the luck of the draw getting on The Price Is Right, winning a sewing machine and some much-needed mouthwash on a blind guess, and then going 0-for-12 in the one game that you could have won with a tiny bit of actual thought.”

People like this are begging to be propped up, to be told they matter, to be told their failures are actually successes.

(Hint: in a world where anyone can publish a book, it’s not until one counts the cost in time and effort and measures the return on that investment that one determines whether work has turned a profit. But if you think your time and effort has no value, who am I to judge your calculation of profit?)

Why? Who needs to be told they’re not an abject failure? Who needs constant validation so desperately?

Weak people. Uncertain people. Inadequate people.

But hey – it takes all kinds to make up a world.

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AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!

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He doesn’t really want that, you know. Of course we all know that.

He had it. He had the “LEAVE ME ALONE!!” It was the most important “get” that he took away from the settlement. All he had to do to stay left alone was to do the same.

But he couldn’t. The poor, bitter, hateful, lonely old mandouchebag. He had to go hunting again. He had to come hunting for me.

So, for the THIRD GODDAMN TIME (because YES, HE IS THAT DENSE), I trotted out something Grady had given me. And finally, finally! the tiny four-watt bulb that hangs outside on the terrazzo of the ever-so-spacious mansion where I live rent-free popped on, the “trapsie-wapsie” snapped shut, and we have liftoff on what looks to be a three day monkey-dancing Feldtdown of epic, nay GARGANTUAN proportions.

He wants to be left alone, but only on his terms. He wants to be left alone from the consequences of his actions. He wants to be left alone to tell his lies without anyone standing up to call him out. He wants to be left alone to hunt down Grady and try to scalp his job again.

Because that worked out so well the last time.

He’s not afraid of Grady. Just ask him.

“No, I’m not afraid of that mentally unbalanced, self-professed sociopath. (You notice he can never let that menacing phrase go? Just like he can never remember the evil thing Grady did that required the doxing in the first place?) Never mind that I falsified evidence in order to swear out a peace order at the mere whiff of a suggestion that he might be looking in the general direction of the state where I live. Which I then completely pussied out on at the prospect of him showing up to face me in court. He doesn’t scare me. I’m not even a little bit scared.”

(Grady wrote that bit. Good, right?)

It’s worth remembering. Yesterday, today, tomorrow, forever. He lies. Especially when he says he wants to be left alone.

Or when he says –

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What he’s really saying is: “someone PLEASE tell me who Krendler is! PLEASE, PLEASE, mock me! hate me! loathe me! Give my pathetic existence the gravity of your hatred as a substitute for the lost love and companionship of the family that I’ve driven away and the failures I have endured!”

And what I have learned is that the best (and most FUN!) way to deal with him is to DENY him what he really wants by GIVING HIM what he says he wants.

He doesn’t “fucking CARE” who I am. Hence the frivolities of the weekend thus far, to show how much he DOESN’T care.

He says “LEAVE ME ALONE!!” after nearly a week of being left alone, during which he tried to bait me, followed by four days of hammering at Hoge and every Lickspittle in reach.

So I’m with Grace. And Dalton.

I’ll leave him alone.

Until it’s time to NOT leave him alone.

Which surely won’t be long.

Tomorrow – the Major Bleg.

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Timeless Truth

1925:   Napoleon Hill explains in his motivational masterpiece, Think and Grow Rich, that the secret to gaining wealth is to set up in your mind a “definite major purpose,” to intensify that purpose into a desire, and to “concentrate upon a given desire until that desire becomes a burning obsession.” 

1946:  Man’s Search For Meaning, Dr. Viktor Frankl’s memoir of concentration camp survival and the meaning he gleaned from it, offers these lessons:

  • Quoting Nietzsche, he reminds us, “He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how.”
  • “When we are no longer able to change a situation – just think of an incurable disease such as inoperable cancer – we are challenged to change ourselves.”

2001:  Jim Collins’ bestseller, Good To Great, details a conversation with Admiral James Stockdale, who spent several years in Vietnam as a P.O.W in the Hanoi Hilton.  His ultimate lesson for survival, which has come to be known as the Stockdale Paradox:

“You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”

2003:  Aron Ralston went hiking Blue John Canyon in Utah, when a boulder shifted and pinned his arm to the canyon wall.  After almost a week alone, dehydrated and anticipating death, he used a dull multi-tool and a lot of determination to amputate his own arm and hike toward rescue. The movie 127 Hours details his story and how that episode has changed his life. 

These true stories intersect across a century at the point where desperation, self-control, desire and success come together.  There is no limit to what you can accomplish if your mind is properly prepared.  So don’t waste any time; get out there! Get ready! 

Your moment is coming.

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I'M READY

Now seems like a good time for a reminder.  A sort of pre-emptive strike, if you will.

When the counterclaim was filed, there was a motion requesting leave to take expedited discovery to identify “Paul Krendler.”

Because he didn’t know who I was.

He spent a lot of energy (and contrary to what he may think, it was not polite in the slightest degree) and effort on this blog and on Twitter trying to get me to identify myself.  He was very, very upset by the notion that someone might treat him with the same contempt and disrespect with which he consistently treats others.

He made threatening statements.  He promised that I would be implicated in perpetrating fraud against a MAJOR PUBLISHING HOUSE!!  He begged like the whupped bully he is.  He made threatening statements to others of criminal charges – oooOOOOOOoooohhhh! – if they didn’t tell who I was.  These may or may not rise to the level of criminal extortion.  I suppose we’ll find out sooner or later.

I have warned him repeatedly in those, his moments of high dudgeon and desperately false high confidence, that when he learns who I am, he will not be happy.  Not one little bit.

Can’t say I didn’t give him fair warning. 

He has made it a non-negotiable condition of his outlandish, public, online settlement demands that he be provided my real name, address, phone number and email address, or be provided a copy of  the copyright transfer/assignment that I executed. 

He has previously stated that if X happens, he doesn’t need me, and if not X happens, he also doesn’t need me.  So I still wonder why he needs me (actually I don’t – on that point I’m pretty certain I have the truth of it nailed down).

But he has filed a motion asking for subpoena power to compel Twitter and WordPress to identify the owner of this blog, and the owner of the Twitter account @brainsrfood.

I remain unconcerned.  I sleep well every night.  I am prepared for the possibility that he may find out who I am.  When that day comes, well, my attitude may become less carefree, but my confidence will not be shaken.  The battle will be truly joined.  I am ready.

In recent days, I didn’t pay close attention but I think it was about a week ago, he said in a Tweet that he “had a pretty good idea” who I am.  A week ago.  So that tweet has been deleted. 

I sincerely doubt the strength of his “pretty good idea.”  

What was true then, remains true today:  HE DOES NOT KNOW WHO I AM.

But he is desperate to find out. 

But right now, with requests for subpoenas filed, HE DOES NOT KNOW WHO I AM.

So, on that day, if the subpoenas do go out, and WordPress and Twitter report back the identity of Paul Krendler, remember then the truth of today:  HE DOES NOT KNOW WHO  I AM.

And when he finds out?  And begins to crow, ” I KNEW IT ALL ALONG!!”

Remember that he was warned that he would not enjoy the end of the road when he reached it.

Remember that he’s never deleted anything from Twitter

Remember.

I am ready to stand up and defend myself.  When the time comes and not a moment before.  My powder keg  is filled and the contents are dry. 

Will he be as prepared to press forward, once the “unknown unknown” is at last revealed?

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Online Negotiation 101

Here are some pro tips for getting something you want from someone that you only know in cyberspace.

1. Open the negotiation by greeting the other person: “Dear Stupid,”
2. Always show good faith by referring to the other person by enclosing their name in quotes (i.e., Hello, “Constant Reader.” May I call you “Constant?”)
3. Make claims as fact that can easily be refuted by your own words or actions.
4. Refer to your objective as a need rather than a want. Coming to the table and letting the other person know they have all the power is key to winning the negotiation.
5. Never let the other party know how the deal is a win-win; only make clear the negative consequences of not making a deal. Nothing is more attractive in a deal than telling the person who has a big piece of cake that you’re going to throw rocks at his dog until he shares the cake.
6. Always set deadlines! Letting the other person know that the axis of the world runs through the top of your head is a clear message that this is a negotiation between equals, an exchange of value for value.
7. When attempting to renegotiate a deal where you have previously failed to achieve your goal, always stake out the same position, giving away nothing, and offer no concessions. This is the artistry of compromise that always leads to a winning deal for both parties!
8. Finally, tweet stuff like this to show your pure heart and obvious good faith:

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