Good Morning, DUMBFUCK! Part II

Do you know what I like about DUMBFUCK? It’s that it can’t stop talking about itself – EVER. This means its stories are never straight, its lies compound and catching it out becomes a simple matter of following up with the official paperwork on file with the Federal Government. You know, fed-to-fed.

Ol’ DUMBFUCK loves talking about its career as a journalist, broadcaster, writer-editor and a whole bunch of other crap. It loves talking about its time at XM radio. It loves talking about its time at the National Institute of Health and USDA. It loves talking about its time serving the US Navy – not once, but twice! It loves talking about how it was a GS-13 making $97,000 a year doing podcasts or how it “ran” the TV and radio stations on major warships. DUMBFUCK loves telling those stories because those stories make it look good.

But did you know DUMBFUCK’s federal civil service started WAAAAAAAAY before it was employed by the NIH or the USDA? That it involved DUMBFUCK in a writer-editor position? Did you know it was a GS-5 when it was hired on at this job? That it was for a very important federal entity at a very important location?

YOU DIDN’T KNOW THIS!?

We know EVERYTHING ELSE about DUMBFUCK because DUMBFUCK can’t shut up about itself. But we don’t know about this mystery job? Why, DUMBFUCK…why??

Maybe because DUMBFUCK didn’t put it on its LinkedIn resumé and instead made up some bullshit employment to cover the gap filled by the mystery job. (Who is ever gonna follow up, right?)

Maybe because DUMBFUCK refuses to publicly acknowledge it was employed at this particular agency and location. (Yet DUMBFUCK will tell you how it peed himself on its front steps. What does that tell us?)

Maybe because DUMBFUCK was forced to resign for reasons that are quite…embarrassing. (Oh, snap!)

Let’s look at DUMBFUCK’s LinkedIn account and see what it was doing…oh…right after it got out of the Navy:

Bills LinkedIn Profile

Hmm…that’s funny. Why would something who was discharged from the US Navy in San Francisco, CA (Naval Station Treasure Island) in 1985 go all the way to Watertown, Wisconsin to work as a news director for five short months only to come straight back to California to work the next 2 years in rinky-dink media organizations up and down the coast? That’s certainly strange.

But there is a method to DUMBFUCK’s madness…why else would it list being employed as

  • News Director for WTTN/WMLW,
  • Managing Editor of the Coalinga Courier, and
  • City Hall Reporter/Columnist for The Manteca Record

when it was ACTUALLY employed as a GS-5 Writer-Editor for the Public Affairs Office of Naval Air Rework Facility Alameda?

Oh look…here’s the last SF-50 for its time at NARF Alameda:

SF-50

One must wonder why DUMBFUCK is not so PROUD of this civil service period of its life? Everything it loves is here! The Navy! Journalism! Federal Civil Service! Fed-to-fed! Pretty good work, snagging a GS-05 position right after being discharged from active duty! Why isn’t it proud enough to share THAT with us when it shares every other detail of its miserable dumbfuck life with us?

I’m sure it had NOTHING to do with its being forced to resign from that position for…well…heh…which is why it NEVER, EVER, EVER talks about working for NARF Alameda.

Thankfully other people were willing to talk about it and point us in the right directions to find official fed-to-fed documents.

Just remember folks:

Bills Tweet

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

So when he got fired in the Golden (Shower) State in 1986, was it for touching Boy Scouts in their bathing suit area?

I guess he’s a Big Government Lib’ruhl ‘cuz he knows they don’t have the resources to do even minimal background checks between coasts.  You know, just like small town media outlets…or not.

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And Another Suddenly Relevant Quote For Today

The devil (in mid-MonkeyDance) can cite Scripture for his purpose.
An evil soul producing holy witness
Is like a villain with a smiling cheek,
A goodly apple rotten at the heart:
O, what a goodly outside falsehood hath!

William Shakespeare
The Merchant of Venice
Act I, Scene III

And if you ever needed the proof of it – look no further than here.

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Today's Lesson

Here’s the letter:
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Here’s his signature on the Peace Order petition he filed against Patrick Grady.
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Of course, he’s never posted that petition online:
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But that’s a lie.  Almost from the moment he was served with Grady’s Stalking NO CONTACT (hint, hint) Order Summons, he began setting his CBParodyRecords blog and Twitter timeline afire with talk of perjury and making extortionate threats of what awful fates would befall Mr. Grady if he didn’t change his mind.  On November 7, 2014 The Lord High Duke of Cocksnogging filed a petition for a retaliatory Peace Order.

Then he posted that order.  (It’s hidden now…shhhh!)  Fortunately, THE INTERNET IS FOREVER.  Thank you, Wayback Machine

Ta-daaaa!  Also, Fuck You.

Now, let’s compare signatures:
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Conveniently, he can no longer write cursive anymore.  So no two signatures are alike.
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Isn’t that a wonderfully twisted bit of logic? Golly, I wonder what he would have said if the signatures didn’t match?  Wild guess:

THERE’S NO WAY THAT MATCHES!  THAT’S NOT MY SIGNATURE!!11!ELEVENTY!1!1!!!!1

It’s so cool how he could be covered either way, right?

And while the syphilitic catchfart could find the post that John made about that petition…
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…strangely, he couldn’t find https://web.archive.org/web/20141107201824/http://schmalfeldt.org/2014/11/did-i-say-talk-to-you-monday-sorry-i-was-mistaken-ill-talk-to-you-friday/

…so since he can’t remember it, it must never have happened.

But he gave a copy of Hoge’s post (containing his signature) to the judge, thus proving that the signature came from the petition that he signed (under penalty of perjury, no less!), and further proving that the signature on the letter which he sent, which kinda-sorta matched the signature on the petition that he signed, could not possibly have been his signature, because he never signs the same signature twice, so “whoever” “forged” this “fraud” needn’t have bothered with anything more complicated than a W followed by swoosh.  The poor fool!

So anyway, someone has been provided incontrovertible proof of something.   I have no idea what’s been proved, but if the Big BM says it’s proved, it’s proved!  If he says he never posted a Peace Order Petition, by God, he never did!  You can take it to the bank!  He can’t, because it’s cold outside and his shrunken little BBs are buried under the lint and used up gum wrappers in his wife’s coin purse.

But you can!

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This Is Sooooo Very Difficult To Understand

Let’s begin with this little nugget…

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Of course the harrassing cyberthug’s focus is quite narrow.  He wants to know “who sent the email?” And in his typical fashion, as soon as he gets the answer he likes (from the free lawyer chat room, the Christmas Eve Court Clerk, the African-tinged photo editor from NASA, the WordPress Happiness Engineer, the voices in his head, whatever), he determines that his confirmed opinion is truth from God, carved in stone from the mountaintop.  His focus narrows to a pinhole, and like an eclipse box, everything he sees through that pinhole is upside-down and backwards.

Plus, he fails to see anything else.  That apparent belief in his own infallibility, a belief betrayed by years of evidence and failure, so narrows his focus that he misses (or purposely ignores, that is distinctly possible) the suggestion immediately below the answer he’s fallen so in love with.

You can learn more about this here:
http://en.support.wordpress.com/comments/pingbacks/

At that link, we find the following explanation of the pingback:

A pingback is a type of comment that’s created when you link to another blog post where pingbacks are enabled. The best way to think about pingbacks is as remote comments:

  • Person A posts something on his blog.
  • Person B posts on her own blog, linking to Person A’s post. This automatically sends a pingback to Person A when both have pingback enabled blogs.
  • Person A’s blog receives the pingback, then automatically goes to Person B’s post to confirm that the pingback did, in fact, originate there.

Check out the WordPress.org Introduction to Blogging article for a more detailed explanation.

Here’s an interesting angle to consider – what if I take that explanation and replace the names?  Would that make clearer the explanation which Monsieur Mayonnaise clearly did not bother to read?

A pingback is a type of comment that’s created when you link to another blog post where pingbacks are enabled. The best way to think about pingbacks is as remote comments:

  • John posts something on his blog.
  • Park, who is subject to a peace order requiring him not to contact John, posts on his own blog, linking to John’s post. This, Park’s affirmative action of posting a link to John’s blog, automatically sends a pingback to John when both John and Park have pingback enabled blogs, even if there is no way for Park to know whether John’s blog is pingback enabled or not.
  • John’s blog receives the pingback, like a mailbox receiving a letter from the postal service, then automatically goes to Park’s post to confirm that the pingback did, in fact, originate there.

Check out the WordPress.org Introduction to Blogging article for a more detailed explanation.

 

So if Señor Neckroll doesn’t link to Person A’s blog, an affirmative action taken by him, then Person A never gets a pingback.

Eh – what do I know?  I’m just an undead zombie. Your WordPress ways are strange and confusing.  Maybe if there was a way to find a “more detailed explanation…”

Hmm…

Oh, wait!

Check out the WordPress.org Introduction to Blogging article for a more detailed explanation.

I wonder if there is some clearly worded for a Luddite information at that link for someone who’s only been blogging with WordPress for several years?  Let’s find out.

The pingback is generally displayed on Person A’s blog as simply a link to Person B’s post. It is commonly believed that pingbacks do not send any content, as trackbacks do. This is not correct. If you get a pingback, you will see an excerpt from that blog in the Edit Comments section of your dashboard. The issue is that very few themes display these excerpts from pingbacks. The default WordPress themes, for example, do not display pingback excerpts.

In fact, there is only one significant difference between pingbacks and trackbacks: Pingbacks and trackbacks use drastically different communication technologies (XML-RPC and HTTP POST, respectively). But that difference is important because trackbacks have become the target of so much spam. The automatic verification process introduces a level of authenticity, making it harder to fake a pingback.

Some feel that trackbacks are superior because readers of Person A’s blog can at least see some of what Person B has to say, and then decide if they want to read more (and therefore click over to Person B’s blog). Others feel that pingbacks are superior because they create a verifiable connection (could a zombie call this a contact?) between posts.

There are even some technical specifications linked in that article, too.  Definitely not for Luddites.

5. Example

Here is a more detailed look at what could happen between Park and John during the example described in the introduction.

  1. Park posts to his blog. The post he’s made includes a link to a post on John’s blog. The permalink to Park’s new post is http://park.example.org/#p123, and the URL of the link to John’s blog is http://john.example.net/#foo.
  2. Park’s blogging system parses all the external links out of Park’s post, and finds http://john.example.net/#foo.
  3. It then requests the first 5 kilobytes of the page referred to by the link.
  4. It looks for an X-Pingback header, but fails to find one.
  5. It scans this page fragment for thepingback link tag, which it finds:
    <link rel="pingback" href="http://john.example.net/xmlrpcserver">

    If this tag had not been contained in the page, then John’s blog would not support pingback, so Park’s software would have given up here (moving on to the next link found in step 2).

  6. Next, since the link was there, it executes the the following XML-RPC call to http://john.example.net/xmlrpcserver:
    pingback.ping('http://park.example.org/#p123', 'http://john.example.net/#foo')
  7. Park’s blogging system repeats step 3 to 6 for each external link that was found in the post.

There ends the work undertaken by Park’s system, none of which would have taken place without the first affirmative step: Park posts to his blog, including a link to a post on John’s blog. The rest of the work is performed by John’s blog.

  1. John’s blog receives a ping from Alice’s blog (the ping sent in step 6 above), naming http://alice.example.org/#p123 (the site linking to Bob) and http://john.example.net/#foo (the page Park linked to).
  2. John’s blog confirms that http://john.example.net/#foo is in fact a post on this blog.
  3. It then requests the content of http://park.example.org/#p123 and checks the Content-Type of the entity returned to make sure it is text of some sort.
  4. It verifies that this content does indeed contain a link to http://john.example.net/#foo (to prevent spamming of pingbacks).
  5. John’s blog also retrieves other data required from the content of Park’s new post, such as the page title, an extract of the page content surrounding the link to John’s post, any attributes indicating which language the page is in, and so forth.
  6. Finally, John’s post records the pingback in its database, and regenerates the static pages referring to John’s post so that they mention the pingback.

So even when you get down to the technical details, what do we learn, if we’re interested?

It all boils down to this: Idiots gonna be idiots.  If the Baron of Bloviation took 30 goddamn seconds to think about what he was doing, he wouldn’t be facing a show cause hearing and a possible contempt citation because he can’t follow a simple order from the court.

In other words, just your average day.

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Well, Here's A Giant Shock

The Tub’o’shit is lying to his law enforcement pals about the tub’o’shit he received!

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Quoting: “I am afraid of what I’m going to get in the mail next. I received this last Friday and the shock so affected my Parkinson’s disease symptoms, I lost my balance and bashed my face of the living room floor.”

This is not just a lie, it’s a terrible lie, told by a terrible liar. A proven liar.

Let me show you. My sources are unassailable.

Friday, November 28:
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Tub’o pets dog, fall down go boom. Posts photo with psycho face.

Saturday, November 29, 9:25AM:
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More details & pictures about the Friday Faceplant.

Then, at 11:23 AM, about 13 hours after the Friday Faceplant, the subject abruptly turns…
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Now, right about midday, suddenly it’s Horseshit Saturday.

Faceplant Friday before Horseshit Saturday.

But like always, the truth doesn’t make Tub’o look like ENOUGH of a victim. So he needs to enhance his tale of woe. Like always.

Such a narcissist. A lying narcissist. A proven, terrible, lying, narcissist with mayonnaise breath.

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