When I conned my way into the post of program director and morning show host at KGYN in Guymon, OK, it was with the understanding that KGYN was a conservative talk station in a conservative area and I would need to focus on doing a happy news morning radio show and keep my flaming Godless communist opinions to myself. At first, it was easy. I spent the first three months silently laughing at my co-workers and my listeners. But as we got closer to the midterms, I started to use my Twitter page as a liberal platform, which quite understandably pissed off the bosses. I had also temporarily been the station manager while the post was vacant, but when that happened, they made a “hurry up” hire to get someone – anyone – in house that could rein me in.
He took the keys to the station Twitter account away from me on September 15. You’ll notice it hasn’t been updated since. He also made me take all references to the station off of my personal Twitter account. I used to be @BillMathewsKGYN with logos and call letters and slogans all over my bio. I took that all down and became the very generic @GuymonRadioGuy.
Another thing that bothered me was the way April Coble had total freedom on Twitter to be her liberal self. Oh, I grifted her real good, too. She told me about all the lickspittles she blocked out of hand when they tried to tell her about my previous exploits as a cyberstalker, just like I told her they would.
The real problem was that, as program director, it became obvious that the syndicated hosts on the station, in the wake of the Kavanaugh confirmation, were now using the Alinsky “By Any Means Necessary” playbook that had served us progressives so well in the Obama years. They had finally figured out that the way to cling to power was to punch back twice as hard as the Democrats, lie twice as much as Claire McCaskill, DiFi and Chuck Schumer, and scare the GOP base in the same way we’ve been scaring African Americans out to the pools for the last 50 plus years.
Oh, and get the economy roaring again. And cut taxes. And drop unemployment below 4%. And create more job openings than there are unemployed people on the books to fill them.
Fucking Trump. #OrangeManBad
At KGYN, right-wing thought prevails. Mike Gallagher is on the air from 9 until 11. The white supremacist Laura Ingraham is on from noon until 2. The right wing goofball Joe Pags is on from 5 until 8. That’s 7 hours out of the broadcast day devoted to rational thought, and as program director, I had to sit there and listen to all of it. Everybody thinking and using logic and reason…I had no idea what they were talking about. I just knew it made my fee-fees hurt. I couldn’t wait to get home, turn on MSNBC and watch the Antifa mobs harassing people in the streets of New York and chasing them out of restaurants in Washington and dragging them out of their cars in Portland before being challenged and running away like I did from Maryland to Wisconsin in 2015. And all the Kavanaugh protesters disrupting the hearings – AND GETTING PAID TO DO IT! Lucky fuckers. I can’t wait for the impeachment hearings. I love peaches…
What was I talking about? Oh yeah.
But I was staying up until four in the morning watching MSNBC just to wash the conservative thought out of my brain and replace it with muh libruhl feeeeeels. I wasn’t getting any sleep, and Ream-o of the Jerks was getting upset with me. She wanted to get married, she wanted new teeth, she wanted, this, that, and the other thing, she wouldn’t shut the fuck up!
Finally – AND THIS IS WHERE YOU CAN TELL I’M LYING – it was the Elizabeth Warren controversy that finally pushed me off the fence. You see, I was the program director at this station. It was my job to keep it on the air so that the local yokels can hear content they enjoy and patronize the advertisers who sponsor that content and pay my sub-minimum wage, and I knew that going in. But keeping the power on for these Okie dumbasses was just too much.
The new station manager could tell I was on the verge of going postal, so on Monday, he did a very smart thing. I finished my show, and he told me he’s taken the liberty of having my meager belongings packed and driven to the train station in Lubbock, and here’s your ticket. Don’t let the door hit ya where the dog bit ya.
Now I no longer have to put up with the voices of hatred on the radio.
Just my fiancée. And the ones in my own head.
And that will have to do.