Credo propterea puto.

Cogito ergo sum.

I think, therefore I am.

But as the old joke goes, Descartes walked into a bar, and the bartender asked if he wanted a drink.

Descartes replied, ” I think not,” and promptly blinked out of existence.

Ever run into someone who, because they think something, then that MUST be the truth? And conversely, if they don’t think something, that thing CANNOT POSSIBLY be the truth?

If a lack of belief in X means that X is not true, does it follow that if you don’t see Y then Y doesn’t exist? If you’ve never heard a song by artist Z, is the song imaginary?

When he sits in a totally darkened room, in complete silence, does he cease to exist? When he sleeps, do I cease to exist?

I’ve never been inside Fort Knox; so that gold must not exist, huh?

“O that way madness lies; let me shun that. No more of that.”

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General Announcement of Major News Regarding Corporal Punishment

It has become the custom of Thinking Man’s Zombie to treat the comments of Bill Schmalfeldt much like incoming produce or animals shipped from overseas. They go into moderation quarantine until we can determine they are free of infectious crap before releasing them on the general readership.

In a recent thread, he challenged the commenters here to identify anyone he has incorrectly doxed. Being an essentially fair-minded zombie, I asked how many examples it would take before he would concede the point that he is, in fact, a failure at his chosen art.

He took some umbrage at this and refused to answer, after being afforded multiple opportunities. He continues to deflect and refuse to participate in a debate that he perpetuated, until, as it always must do, it turned against him.

Therefore, we will be affecting a small change to our commenting policy regarding him: all of his comments will be held in moderation until he answers the question. At that time, existing comments will be reviewed for relevance and released or not at the discretion of the management. New comments will be returned to status quo ante and judged on merit relative to the topic.

In short, Bill is grounded until he answers the question. As he likes to say, the choice to comment here is entirely up to him.

Until he does, all his comments will amount to a whisper in a windstorm.

Not unlike his life.

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To Win The Unwinnable Case

Time For “Sing Along With Mitch/Paul/Kyle/Chris/Sam/Dave or Whoever”

If you don’t know the tune, here’s a little bonus copyright infringement for you:

And some lyrics to follow along with:

To win the unwinnable case
To crush the un-self-aware foe
To feed his most infinite sorrow
To laugh for he is such a schmo!

To prove him perpetually wrong
To crush his Dox-Fu near and far
To mock when he’s tired and weary
To snark him so bad it leaves scars

This is my quest, to hound dear old Chubs,
Until he lies hopeless, his teeth ground to nubs
To be willing to seek peace orders for no reason
To dispense much butthurt so that honor and justice may live

And I know if I’ll only be true to this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm when I’m laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man shamed and covered with Hellmann’s
Got what every man knew he deserved
And lost the un-lose-able case.

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On the matter of Copyright…

“Fear pee.”

Nice. Simple. Catchy. Easy to remember later. Very convenient.

Now I need help. There’s got to be a better, shorter, simpler term for what just happened here at Casa Krendler than “Oh my God, I just fell out of my chair from laughing so hard I busted my hip and wet my pants out of sheer joyful bliss pee.”

A little help here?

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