How To Stop Being Mocked For Saying Stupid Shit On The Internet

Stop saying stupid shit on the Internet.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

Apocryphal, oft attributed to A. Lincoln

People have a God-given right to say dumb shit. I have the same God-given right to mock them when they do. (Truth be told, I consider it a more of a responsibility. Opinions vary.)

If (when) I say something stupid, I expect you to point it out, and maybe take me down a peg or two. If you do it well, I may tip my hat to you.

But if you don’t, well…all I have is FUN.


Julius Caesar: Act III Scene 2

It’s been unusually quiet the last week or so. Except for a couple of slips, very calm indeed. Perhaps something is coming.

On Tuesday, it was:

So, why bother?

Because I refuse to yield the field to the trolls, to the hate-mongers who have tried ever so hard to define who I am.


But if I should shuffle off the proverbial “mortal coil” tonight, these books, audiobooks and comedy albums are PROOF of my existence, and they will speak for me. Why do you suppose the Legion of Hoge has worked so hard to post false, negative reviews of my most recent books on Amazon. They neglect to mention that they are major characters in the books they are panning (I most certainly do NOT, you lying fuck – PK), so I am forced to do that for them.

Everything else will speak for itself.

Strong, defiant, full of piss and vinegar, if a bit fatalist. Unfortunately for him, I think Shakespeare had the measure.

But Thursday, a little different story from Twitter:


Not quite so defiant. More resigned? Defeated, even?

You know what it feels like to me?



Wait…They Can Do That?

So I’m hearing murmurs of MoveOn getting spooked by the notion of a GOP Congress using some obscure process called “reconciliation” to pass bad laws.


I wonder what MoveOn will do when someone whispers in their little ears an explanation of how Obamacare became law.

Pro tip: you won’t find it in a Schoolhouse Rock singalong.


Mocky Mock and the Funky Bunch

This may or may not be a Bonus Earworm; mostly it’s an excuse to say “Mocky Mock and the Funky Bunch.”

Because fresh, delicious mockery is called for, and I’m not feeling it right now, let this be your point and laugh open thread.

But before I post, I will offer a couple alternate theories to contrast the dastardly crime spree that the World’s Worst Internet Investigator (Johnny Fatsign?) posits.

Alternate Theory #1

Johnny Fatsign has it wrong because he is making connections where none exist.

Alternate Theory #2

Johnny Fatsign has it wrong because he is being played. He has been getting played for three years. He has been getting played so hard and so thoroughly that he gets confused when he ISN’T being played.

Alternate Theory #3

Johnny Fatsign has it wrong because #JohnnyFatsignIsBATSHITCRAZY.

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