Less Than Twelve Hours This Time!

9:20 PM PST…

…to 9:01 AM PST.

Apparently “withdraw[ing] from public view” suits him about as well as does “self awareness,” “telling the truth,” “being a real journalist,” “not stalking and harassing people” and “having Parkinson’s disease.”

He just can’t make it stick.


Self Awareness Fail, Part ∞



Poopypants Pundit, heal thyself.



Insane By His Own Admission

…but don’t you dare call him a “deranged cyberstalker,” because that’s DEFAMATION!!

Oh, wait.


Now Hold On Thar, Baba Looey!

SAFE LINK —> http://archive.is/M4dWI <— SAFE LINK

What is this I see?

DUMBFUCK writing a story about a congressman in Texas who is now facing consequences for foolishly sending private pictures to someone, thus losing control over what happens to them next?

I certainly hope DUMBFUCK is not shocked by this revelation.

If anyone would like to see any of the potentially humiliating photos I might or might not possess, and then irresponsibly plaster them across ALL  THE SOCIAL MEDIA…

just let me know.


Turns Out, It’s An Actual Thing

I encountered this very interesting exchange on Twitter last night.  It started with a real, working, stand-up  comedienne named Jen Kirkland:

I don’t particularly agree with that statement.  I have said before that I think all humor is subjective.  Not everyone loves the Three Stooges. Not everyone loves to be preached at.  Everyone’s wheelhouse is different. It’s a matter of individual taste.

What really interested me was THIS reply:

What DUMBFUCK is saying is “You’re making a hasty generalization in response to a hasty generalization.”

And that’s actually a fair criticism. It’s not a criticism that feminists want to hear in this case, but it’s fair.

But then he goes on to set up and fight a strawman of his own: the “racist patriarchy.”

Big with the buzzwords, no so much with logic, our DUMBFUCK.  Also, REALLY BAD MEMORY.

Perhaps he’s forgotten how he got kicked off that virulent rightwing website, DailyKos.  He was responsible for the now-famous ANAL RAPE SATIRE that was so poorly received that it took a day of calling his readers idiots plus ANOTHER DIARY specifically to call those readers idiots some more and to invite everyone too stupid to appreciate his satirical brilliance just to stop reading his diaries, kthxbai – to get him permabanned by Markos himself, that rightwing fuckhead.

So to recap the action so far: we have Jen Kirkland calling out men – #YesAllMen – for not understanding her jokes, followed by Bill Schmalfeldt – he of the “you’re all too stupid to understand my brilliant satire about ASS RAPE” – responding with

Already I can see this is going to go swimmingly for DUMBFUCK.

Cat West calls him out for his tone deaf response:

And then the fun really starts. Bill responds to this dim girl:

Here’s my written impression of Bill Schmalfeldt:

“People say I’m condescending…that means I talk down to people.”


If you get the joke, terrific! Glad I made you laugh.  If you don’t, I don’t care. No one is paying me for this, so I only have to amuse myself.  Anyhoo…

Taking zero shit from Mr. Butt Stuff, Cat bangs back:

What are the odds that Cat West checked out Bill Schmalfeldt on the Google Machine (the first hit is the first hit) before responding to his attempt to impart his perceived wisdom into that conversation?

“Smash teh pay-tree-ark-ee!!”

Pro-tip: it’s not

“I’m just a dumb old man with a pesky “y” chromosome and all”

that causes no one to take you seriously…

It’s simply:

“I’m just a dumb old man with a pesky “y” chromosome and all

…and everyone knows it.

And when you drop into a serious (or even an unserious) conversation and your contribution amounts to “I put on my shoes today without falling off the bed,” well…the pool of everyone just gets that much larger.

And we point.
And we laugh.
And we mock.

Because it’s FUN.


Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

When you post those directions, please make sure you include stops at nearby auto parts and sporting goods stores. Ya can’t find tire irons and baseball bats lying around just anywhere, ya know!

And the nearest 7-Eleven, too. Them tune ups take a lot out of a guy, and Gatorade will replenish those lost electrolytes.

Sure is a good thing you have a lot of friends in low places, you fucking racist, homophobic, misogynist, kiddie-diddling worm.

God forbid a weeping syphilitic catchfart coward like you crawl out from under your porch to do your own dirty work, you slimy sand-filled pussy.

My guns are clean and in reach. Ready when you are.

UPDATE:  Noting a John “Minemyown” Doe comment here makes an opportune moment to point out that DUMBFUCK has been recycling this “shut up about me or I’ll do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING until I tell you to shut up about me again” bit for years.


His hysteria ages like fine wine.  His resolve, like vinegar.