General Announcement of Major News Regarding Corporal Punishment

It has become the custom of Thinking Man’s Zombie to treat the comments of Bill Schmalfeldt much like incoming produce or animals shipped from overseas. They go into moderation quarantine until we can determine they are free of infectious crap before releasing them on the general readership.

In a recent thread, he challenged the commenters here to identify anyone he has incorrectly doxed. Being an essentially fair-minded zombie, I asked how many examples it would take before he would concede the point that he is, in fact, a failure at his chosen art.

He took some umbrage at this and refused to answer, after being afforded multiple opportunities. He continues to deflect and refuse to participate in a debate that he perpetuated, until, as it always must do, it turned against him.

Therefore, we will be affecting a small change to our commenting policy regarding him: all of his comments will be held in moderation until he answers the question. At that time, existing comments will be reviewed for relevance and released or not at the discretion of the management. New comments will be returned to status quo ante and judged on merit relative to the topic.

In short, Bill is grounded until he answers the question. As he likes to say, the choice to comment here is entirely up to him.

Until he does, all his comments will amount to a whisper in a windstorm.

Not unlike his life.

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On the matter of Copyright…

“Fear pee.”

Nice. Simple. Catchy. Easy to remember later. Very convenient.

Now I need help. There’s got to be a better, shorter, simpler term for what just happened here at Casa Krendler than “Oh my God, I just fell out of my chair from laughing so hard I busted my hip and wet my pants out of sheer joyful bliss pee.”

A little help here?

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Let's Try Something New

Over the last few weeks, I have been gratified to be on the receiving end of a great deal of praise and appreciation for my efforts here. Again, I thank you all for the kindness.

Among the praise, there have been suggestions that I make some effort at a more serious project. After some consideration, I have decided to make that effort. Unfortunately, as I am employed full time, I think it will be extremely difficult, not to say impossible, to pursue my profession plus two other hobby-level projects with excellence.

Something has to give, and this is it.

Mostly it will be the long-form parodies that get the short end; I’ll try to keep up posting funny pictures, videos and other short-form pieces that don’t take much work. And occasionally, when the mood strikes and the material is ripe…who knows?

In the meantime, here’s a laughing baby video:

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So, WHY Did Williams File A Counterclaim He Can't Win?

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I don’t know how many more times I have to point and laugh before Williams’s minion finally understands that I am not making this up, it is not an old law that has been changed, these are not from old magazine articles, these actually reflect the actual black (RAAAAACIST!) letter law of the United (RAAAAACIST!) States of America.

It boggles my mind to think that someone as smart as Parkinson Williams would not have done his due diligence to see if his counterclaims ha– oops. Loose lips sink ships! A phone call to Shrek Pimpernel would probably have done the trick. But the fact … the FACT of the matter is, unless Williams has some super secret –oops. Discretion is the better part of winning in court. Unless Williams has some super secret magical legal strategy that doesn’t show up on – ssshhhh!, then he has no case and the judge will have no choice but to rule against him. (HIS counterclaim is dead aborning… not so my soon to be filed defamation suit. That will rock his mofo world!)

So, ya gotta ask yourself. Why did Williams go through all that trouble? Why did he borrow a completed legal document only to “erase” the whole thing and painstakingly hunt and peck out 47 pages of detailed and sometimes even cogent answers and counterclaims, then spend another day creeping the Westminster weevils’ timelines as they tore it apart, then destroy and rebuild it by discard the 30 most important pages? That’s a mountain of effort for a guy in his condition. Why did he do all that? For nothing?

God I hope so. Because if it’s not for nothing then it must be for something. And if it’s for something, then it’s for something Williams must have missed. But Williams never misses anything (he inventedRES JUDICATA), so it can’t possibly be that. It’s nothing.

I don’t know. Whatever.

And why did he take the trouble to contact “Paul Krendler” and offer to “help” “Paul” “avoid litigation” by “contacting” Williams via “email,” “telephone” or some other simple, doxable form of communication? Then why did he “withdraw” this nebulous, never-made “offer” and try to “blackmail” and “bully” “Paul” into making “contact” so he could be “doxed” which is the only “reason” “Paul” is “attached” to the suit anyway.

Well, that and the fact that he wrote a nasty, vile, obscene blog post that would be just fuckin high-larious if Parkinson Williams had been capable of writing it, and had an ounce of fortitude buried somewhere within his not inconsiderable sack of putrid guts to stand behind it.

Oh, wait…

Why would Williams risk a perjury charge by signing and filing a counterclaim, under penalty of perjury, saying that “Krendler” had not transferred the “book and e-book” rights to his profane yet gutbustingly funny blog entry, when he has no evidence to prove such a claim, leaving himself open to future defamation actions from “Krendler?”

Why in God’s name would Parkinson Williams, a stupid man, do such a stupid thing?

Maybe it’s because he’s STUPID!

Occam’s Razor says – Ding! You Win!

Could it be that, two days after Williams withdrew his lawsuit against the Weevil of Westminster, “Krendler”, and eight others , his bête noire already had his documents prepared and was ready to fight back vigorously against the scurrilous and unfounded false narrative imputed by Williams with malice and forethought?

No, it couldn’t be that. Because if that was it, then Williams had forgotten something. But Williams had a mind like a Teflon – nothing stuck. He forgot everything eventually – the perfect Democrat voter. Dumb, fat, easily led.

Whatever. I don’t know.

But bless his soul, he’d been saved the $400 he would have had to pay to file essentially the same lawsuit (minus 7 – no, 8! – faildoxed opponents he dropped when he finally cottoned to the cost of certified mail, return receipt, restricted delivery of court documents to 10 separate defendants. Compared to that, $400 was couch change.).

He was wrong. And, bless his heart, he paid the $400 I would have had to pay to file essentially the same lawsuit I had filed and withdrawn.

Could it be that the Westminster Warrior has finally had enough harassment from Parkinson Williams, and saw the DOOOOOMED lawsuit as a chance to hurt me enough to make leave him alone for good and all?

Or, could it be that Williams just likes to harass people who are “a pain his butt,” and saw this doomed counterclaim as yet another way to do just that?

How else do you explain it? How else do you explain a fat, housebound coward, a bully who was forced to wear a frilly dress and be the Flower Girl at his uncle’s wedding, who goes to the well, time and time again, gets rejected by local law enforcement dozens, perhaps hundreds of times reporting the crime of First-Degree Emotional Butthurt twice before giving up in frustration and filing the most ill-advised counteclaim since Shrek Pimpernel?

How else do you explain a man who violates a Peace Order time and time again, running up a total of 367 charges, and then in mediation BEGS, PLEADS, SNIVELS and WHINES, like the little flower girl he is at heart, for the man he constantly harasses to ask for their dismissal, because one must have sympathy always for a poor, decrepit, diseased, disabled, destitute, indigent, smelly old fake journalist whose only joy in life comes from “investigating” people who meet his single criterion of newsworthiness: “Dey givez me a sad.”

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results THIS time. Or, in a more understandable way, insanity is voting Democrat.

Is Parkinson Williams insane? Or is he just an evil old man who has put his family’s financial security at risk by engaging “Paul Krendler” in a battle of wits to which Williamson comes unarmed and defenseless?

In the parlance of the layman, the answer to both questions is a resounding “YES!”

I really do not understand how a person could hate someone so much that he would cut off his own head with a Sawzall just for the opportunity to point at his enemy with his final breath and hiss “Look! Look at what you made me dooooooo..hek-gaaaackhh-ahhhh…

The Westminster Weevil picked up Williams’s amended answer and counterclaim at the post office today. He has 20 days to file his answer to the counterclaim.

How in the name of all that is holy is Williams going to explain to his loooooooooooooong-suffering wife that he did all of this, spent all of this time, all of this money, risked his family’s security, and made a new and fearsome enemy who gives him every bit of deference and respect that he has earned (which is to say, NONE), just because he couldn’t exercise the tiniest bit of self-control, couldn’t stop putting an “@” in front of the Twitter handle on his Tweets for no other reason than he TOLD Williams to? How does Parkinson Williams explain that to a Federal Judge that the universe did not exist before the filing of his epically flawed amended counterclaim, that he has done NOT ONE THING EVER IN HIS LIFE to deserve this persucution, and make it sound sane?

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