“No one agrees with me on Twitter, but everyone who disagrees with me must be a right wing troll.  Therefore I am…a DUMBFUCK.”

New account?  If you want to call six different handles on one account in six months “new,” I guess you can do that.

We do love our vault, don’t we?  Say, did you know DUMBFUCK is now climbing toward 200 total Twitter handles used?  There may not be a Guinness World Record for that, but there should be.  Or maybe it should be a Guinness World Rec-NERD.

But then those 30 day free trials do tend to expire just about every 30 days.



Good Night, DUMBFUCK!

Here and I thought Progressives were supposed to be the tolerant, big-tent crowd.

What a fucking bigot!  Somebody better run this intolerant piece of shit sniffer out of the Democratic Party.  He’d make a better Nazi.


Well, You Know DUMBFUCK…

This is the sort of risk real reporters take.

You know what I mean when I say “real reporters,” don’t you?  

Basically, anybody who calls himself or herself a journalist who puts a little shoe leather into it.  Journalism isn’t a job that can really be done dressed like this:

Also real journalists don’t often express an affinity for urinating on children the way you do.☔️


Good Morning, Demented, Depends™ Dependent, DEFAULTED DEFENDANT DUMBFUCK!

Screen capped, for when the fear pee deletions begin…

But really? Sticking noses in where they don’t belong?  SRSLY?

“Now, I will report aggressively on John Hoge’s lawsuit against Kimberlin and his co-defendants, especially that DUMBFUCK Schmalfeldt. But I will not be unbiased. I have news that I am sitting on until early next week. It is not good news for Kimberlin, his child bride or Schmalfeldt. (I’ll tell you this much. I won’t say if it’s DEFAULT, improper motions to dismiss by DUMBFUCK out-of-state defendants, or both. Someone will toss somebody under a bus to save themselves at the expense of others. This is not speculation.)

And I can’t fucking WAIT until I can write about it without risking the outcome.

And for every dollar Hoge takes from Kimberlin, for every ashtray clock and Scooypuff (It’s red. Vroom! VROOM!!) and Keurig and Telefunken U-47 Hoge takes from Schmalfedt, I will smile. I will laugh. God forgive me, I want the see this glorious train wreck. And according to the news I have, I will be able to watch it for a long time to come.

Remember where you read it.

Suffer, he will. It won’t fully compensate for what he’s done to others for the last decade. But it will be a small measure of satisfaction to have lived long enough to see Karma bite him on his pockmarked, pimply ass.”

I wonder what he could POSSIBLY MEAN BY THAT?

*This post is Rule 5 Zombie Wife Approved!


How To Select A Fake Name That Sounds Real

Choose one of the following (List A):

  • Brother
  • Sister
  • Mother
  • Father
  • Uncle
  • Aunt
  • Favorite Teacher
  • Best Friend

Choose one of the following (List B):

  • Best Friend
  • First Girlfriend/Boyfriend
  • Husband/Wife
  • Doctor
  • UPS Delivery Driver

Choose one of the following (List C):

  • Your Doctor
  • Your Dentist
  • The Nearest Street Name
  • Your Favorite President
  • Person you first” went all the way” with
  • Person you last “went all the way” with
  • Person you hate most in the world
  • Some random famous person

Use the three choices to fill in following sentence:

My fake name is the first name of (List A choice)’s (List B choice).  My fake last name is the last name of (List C choice).

So if I choose “Uncle” from list A, “Wife” from list B and “Favorite President” from list C, then my fake name would be my Uncle’s wife’s first name followed by my favorite President’s last name:

Kathy Marshall.

Don’t blame me if my favorite president was Harrison Ford in Air Force One.

Another example:  let’s say that someone chose “brother” from list A, “best friend” from List B, and “Person you first went all the way with” from list C.

They might wind up with “Bill Schmalfeldt” for a fake name…as unrealistic as that sounds.

There are four hard-and-fast rules to choosing a fake name:

  1. Never use your own first name
  2. Never use your own last name
  3. Never use a maiden name that existed more than two generations up your family tree.
  4. [REDACTED – this is my secret rule for making a fake name foolproof.  You want it? Hit the tip jar! – PK]

Breaking those rules is the mark of a TRUE DUMBFUCK.


I Had To Stop At Ten

Today seems like a day to write about politics.  I don’t do that much because it’s so polarizing and prone to passionate rhetoric as a result.  In the past, it has cost me friendships.

One of my peculiar curses is a talent for seeing connections and patterns. I see and understand how current events link backwards to social causes many decades old.  Today, I started a list of things which, in my opinion, are contributing causes to many of today’s social and political ills.  I’m posting them here in the hopes of starting some discussion like that which I have been observing all over the web today, though not necessarily drilling down into the same topics in the same level of minutiae.

I hope you will both critique and discuss my list, but I hope just a bit more that you will add to it.  I don’t think it’s nearly complete; I could probably run it to 50 points without too much effort.   Maybe you’ll help with that.

Without further ado, and in no particular order:

  1. The union stranglehold on public education.
  2. The end of corporal punishment
  3. The 50+ year social experiment where self-esteem trumps actual accomplishment.
  4. The absence of term limits on elected offices outside the judiciary.
  5. How politics has infested the process of federal judicial appointments, tracing back particularly to Ted Kennedy and Robert Bork.
  6. The 24 hour news cycle
  7. The death of common sense and its replacement with political expediency
  8. The incestuous relationship between the Democratic Party and their Praetorian Guard the Mainstream Media
  9. The notion that there is no longer such a thing as absolute truth
  10. The idea that all social change is progress

Bonus problem, because jokes must be made:  All things Kardashian


No, No, Yes.

Aaron didn’t threaten anyone.

He doesn’t face the loss of anything.

You’ve always been an idiot. @schlongspud is wise; today is just the day you made it screamingly obvious to everyone on earth.

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