There Is No Educating The Monkey

So today, our friend the DUMBFUCK received an unexpected gift.

I know it was unexpected because he has no friends, and no relatives who care about him enough to send him presents.

You see, about a week ago, Dave Alexander at The Artisan Craft Blog noticed something strange in a court document that DUMBFUCK had filed.

DUMBFUCK said he didn’t have sufficient information to form a belief about whether or not Brett Kimberlin is a convicted perjurer, drug dealer and perjurer currently on parole of a 50+ year prison sentence.

Kimberlin’s excellent friend says “Gosh, I have NO IDEA if that’s true or not!”

So Dave graciously sent a gift of Mark Singer’s biography of Kimberlin. The one Kimberlin cooperated with Singer in creating.

And DUMBFUCK needed to call in the HAZMAT team to clean up the mess that dropped out the legs of the pajamas he was still wearing at 11:30 AM, the lazy pig.

Then he wrote this (or a reasonable but less accurate facsimile):

IMPORTANT UPDATE: Dave Alexander, a small-time broadcaster at a tiny radio station and a special ed teacher in Fuquay-Varina, NC, revealed that it was he who sent me the book. He wrote about it on his blog a week ago, which is why I knew nothing about it because his blog is of no interest to me, and never mind that I was commenting there less than two weeks ago. Like others, Mr. Alexander mentions me on a regular basis as click bait, which is fine with me because if they all suddenly stopped there would be nothing to stop me from being swallowed by the loneliness.

Unlike others who swear this Bargain Bin Bonus Book is the Bible and God’s Own Truth about all things Kimberlin, I trust myself to form my own opinions of people based on my personal knowledge and contacts with them, of which I have none, because even though I have called him “my excellent friend,” I have also said that I don’t know him and we never speak (it’s all done by e-mail and text messages, don’t you know?) I am not aware of any time Brett Kimberlin ever lied to me the way he lies to his wife about how he no longer has “urges” when picking up his daughter at school, or the way he lies about his wife’s mental health, or the way he lies about innocently forgetting or forging green cards. Yet I know that WJJ Hoge III, “Paul Krendler” and George M. Howell conspired to forge a letter that I actually wrote and mailed to be used as evidence against me in a contempt of court hearing. I know it just as surely as I know my wife was a such a prankster (oh, how she loved to turn tricks on people! At least that’s the way she used to put it.)

I know that Hoge lied to my face about not appealing the District Court’s rejection of his second peace order. (It was my fault for being too stupid to check my own behavior and the court calendar.)

I know Hoge lied in court when he told the judge that blocking a person on Twitter was the same thing as changing your phone number to avoid telemarketers, the same way I lie about my anonymous sources who are actually Brett Kimberlin, who lies to everyone but me because I’m speshul.

I know that Scott Hinckley of Shirley, MA, lied about the extent of “fear” he experienced by my e-mailing him just the way I lied in my request for a mental health hold on WJJ Hoge III.

I know that Sarah Palmer of Reidsville, NC, lied to a judge about living in fear of that next e-mail when she as much as solicits comments from me every day on her blog, and I know she lied under oath about the “danger” I presented to her grandson because I once posted a picture of him with his face blurred AFTER SHE DEMANDED THAT I STOP AND I IGNORED HER.

I know Robin Wesley Causey and his wife lied on their application for a no contact order AFTER I PHOTOSHOPPED HIS WIFE ONTO A GIANT PENIS AND PHOTOSHOPPED A SKULL OVER THEIR BABY’S FACE BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WAS HOWARD EARL (OH, AND I WAS WRONG ABOUT THAT JUST LIKE I’M WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING, INCLUDING NOT BEING A DERANGED CYBERSTALKER) by saying that I had been convicted of domestic assault which I have not. (I’ve never been convicted of anything. The list of evil shit I have gotten away with – so far – is long indeed.)

And I know Lynn Thomas lied about being harassed because I left two polite phone messages on her daddy’s answering machine AFTER SHE TOLD ME TO STOP CONTACTING HER (which is the textbook definition of harassment, if you’re wondering) WHEN I GOT CAUGHT FORGING EMAIL HEADERS LIKE THE IDIOT I AM).

I know Lee Stranahan of Dallas, Texas, lied to the police about a rape threat I never made (wait…if he lied about a threat I never made, then the truth must be that I…DID MAKE A THREAT?) and continued to use that lie to raise money so he could move, money he just pocketed without moving.

I know that Aaron Walker lies every time he publishes his blog about the real reason he was fired, just like I lie every time I explain that I didn’t flee Maryland to escape the legal consequences of the obvious lies on my IFP petition that David Edgren, who I tried to intimidate by posting photos of, and telling lies about, his disabled son (gee, three seems to be a pattern here) so easily exposed.

Walker also lied by saying I had threatened the Stranahan family when really, all I did was publish his home address on Twitter in response to someone suggesting that his wife be raped while Lee was out of town, and it’s publicly available information. Just like my home address, 3209 S. Lake Dr. Apt 108, St. Francis, WI 53235.

Both Hoge and Walker lied about believing that my saying “Beware the Ides of March” on a radio show in a comment directed at LA Assistant District Attorney Patrick Frey because if an unfavorable story I knew that was going to come out was going to hit the stands on March 15, 2013, was a direct threat to THEIR lives and limbs, but for some reason my magical psychic power to know what people believe is REAL! AND IT WORKS ON EVERYBODY! Except Brett Kimberlin.

I know Hoge lied when he said I hijacked a Kansas City server to send him a nasty gram in October 2012 because I sent it from the tincasa and routed it THROUGH the KC server, not FROM it (little distinctions like that are very important when you’re a liar like me) and I am reasonably certain that they are all lying about saying an e-mail from R. Stacy McCain saying that Karen Beseth, the Lonely Conservative, would “blank” his “blank” if he asked her to (and when I say “reasonably certain” what I really mean is “not even anything close to certain,” because I know that the person who gave me the email wrote it and is named Brett Kimberlin.

I know this with the same level of “reasonable certainty” that I know all these people whom I have never met, never spoken to and know nothing about are lying to gullible judges in courts all over America to get NINE restraining orders granted against me, a big old fat drunk teddy bear who posts pictures of your kids because families are off limits as long as it’s my family. And there are many, many similar instances of my lying to these so-called defenders of Free Speech.

So, we have Brett Kimberlin who has not lied to me that I’m in a position to admit without jeopardizing my freedom, and we have all these other people with no real reason to attack Brett Kimberlin other than my projection of my blind hatred of them ONTO THEM, who have CAUGHT ME IN ALL THE LIES I TELL ABOUT THEM. And a BOOK is going to make me see things differently? You must be joking – I am the prototype uneducable monkey. I don’t need no stinking biography of Brett Kimberlin that Brett Kimberlin cooperated in making to tell me lies about Brett Kimberlin. I have Brett Kimberlin himself to tell me those lies. Allegedly.


Accurate Reflections From Broken Mirrors

I think it’s a lot more likely to be one of the great many reasons that DUMBFUCK’S many wives left him. That, and the turdrolling.

He could be wrong, though.  I’m not saying DUMBFUCK could enlighten us, but he sure seems to imply that @mayberryville doesn’t know what he’s talking about.  I wonder why he thinks that.

Well, if DUMBFUCK is implying here that a failure to deny such an accusation makes it true, that would explain why he’s never denied being a shitrolling turdsniffer.

It might also explain why the Captive Nurse never denied being an independent contract provider of uniquely specialized, cash-only, late night truck stop services.

Or not. We may never know now.