Do You Want More Trump, Spike?

Because this is how you get more Trump:

That motherf–ker was given a chance to say we are bout love, and not hate, and that motherf–ker did not denounce the motherf–king Klan, the alt-right, and those Nazi motherf–kers,” he said.

“It was a defining moment, and he could’ve said to the world…that we were better than that.”

Irony – not just the opposite of wrinkly.


So I Went Stalking My Hit Tracker (Cuz I’m Stalky Like That About My Site Stats)

…and I found four completely random, unidentifiable hits from Myrtle Beach, South Crackalacky in the space of a single hour earlier today.

I wonder who it could be…

It couldn’t be my old best pal DUMBFUCK – his Twitter is private so I can’t even see his feed (as far as he knows) and I have nothing to blog about as long as he stays hidden under the porch with his cockholster clamped shut.

Except for the fact that he’s a coward for hiding under the porch with his cockholster clamped shut, of course.

But it’s only a matter of time before he comes out again to open himself up for open mockification, pointage and laughery.



I Don’t Think So, DUMBFUCK!

<del>This troll has fixated on me, which is sad. </del>There are more people reading this tweet tonight than will ever read his blog. What a wretched life, to be so alone, to be so unloved… to be so…. unimportant. Patrick… take the cure. It’s time! End your pain.

“There are more people reading this tweet tonight than will ever read his blog?”

How about today, you spineless pussy?


The Pool Is Up in the Break Room

The question:  How long before Monty vanishes like all of Bill Schmalfeldt’s other pets?

We are measuring in DAYS, not weeks this time.

Twenty bucks a pop, as usual.

Also, drop a note in the box to vote YEA or NAY on a combo bet with CAUSE OF DEATH.

Good luck!


Is Bill Schmalfeldt a Racist?

Yesterday, a brave #resistance fighter posted a hilarious and original meme on Twitter:

See, it’s an ORANGE crayon (Trump) speaking at a rally to an audience of WHITE crayons (apparently his base).

Cuz’ he’s ORANGE, too! And a RAAAAACIST!


But for some reason, Bill Schmalfeldt felt it wasn’t good enough. In his words, it wasn’t “correct.”

So he corrected it.

See, it’s still an ORANGE crayon (Trump) speaking at a rally to an audience of mostly WHITE crayons (apparently his base).

Except now there’s one BLACK crayon in the lower left corner. And he’s OBNOXIOUS because he supports TRUMP.

Cuz’ he’s ORANGE, too! And a RAAAAACIST! As long as we don’t count the obnoxious black people, anyway.

Now, if we’re going to play by Schmalfeldt’s rules (and you better believe we are!), then if you disagree with just one person who claims to have Parkinson’s disease, then you must hate EVERYONE who has Parkinson’s disease.

Thus, because Bill Schmalfeldt disagrees with one OBNOXIOUS ‘BLACKS 4 TRUMP’ guy, then he must hate EVERYONE who is black…especially people who have escaped the Democrat plantation and learned to think for themselves, like Candace Owens, Kanye West, and Obnoxious Blacks For Trump Guy.

But let’s not forget all the people who haven’t yet escaped the Democrat plantation.  He preemptively hates them too, because they MIGHT ESCAPE one day.

Do YOU think Bill Schmalfeldt is a racist?



Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

Gee, DUMBFUCK! You sure are a tough guy! Of course, everyone knows you wont ACTUALLY file another LOLSUIT that is doomed to fail the moment it spits out of the printer. I would have a lot more respect for you if actually DID it (but only in the sense that the smallest possible measurable unit of respect is a lot more than zero respect). COME ON, DUMBFUCK! Put your lazy, useless in forma pauperis ass where your mouth is. DO IT! I DARE YOU!!!


Good Afternoon Again, DUMBFUCK!

Is this why your former Banged-Her-On-The-First-Date-Soulmate clawed half her own throat out?


Good Afternoon, DUMBFUCK!

…says the guy who can’t drive because of his progressive neurological disorder which never ever gets better…

until he suddenly can again. Who opened a GoFundMe campaign to fund a 48 state road trip over 35 days.  Who drove from Iowa to South Carolina and back to Iowa and back to South Carolina.

And then just as suddenly, can’t.

…the same guy who says he can’t travel from South Carolina to Maryland to show up in court…

But then travels from South Carolina to Albuquerque and back. On a debilitating Greyhound. And then makes the trip from South Carolina to North Dakota, no, Iowa…by the Big Dog and Amtrak…until his would-be employer does a deep background check and says “Thanks but no thanks” and he has to return to Myrtle.

Until he can hoodwink the next prospective employer, at least.


When it comes to lying (by volume, if not by quality), Donald Trump isn’t fit to lick the dried lube from Bill Schmalfeldt’s taint.


Good Afternoon, DUMBFUCK PUSSY!

I have engaged with you directly on Twitter. Don’t blame me because you’re too fucking stupid to figure out who I am. Here’s a hint – quit blocking people you can’t match up with intellectually.

NARRATOR: He means ‘everyone,’ Bill.

Do you never wonder how we always find your Twitter, always find out exactly where you live, always know exactly what stupidity you’ve gotten up to?

It’s simple:  Smarter. Than. You.

It also doesn’t hurt that you can’t help but blab your every activity to anyone who wants to look for it.

I have chosen a much more secure way of living my life.

You don’t know my Twitter handle. You don’t know my several backup Twitter handles (you might want to review the list of handles you have banned this year because you can’t run with the Big  Dogs…three of them are me, you fucking coward). You don’t know where I live.  You don’t know where I work. You don’t know my wife, my kids, or anything about my life that I don’t want you to know.

NARRATOR: You know nothing about Krendler, Bill.

I can predict exactly what would happen if you did.  I have looked at your attempted interactions with many people (in no particular order):

John Hoge
Ali Akbar
Marvin Rodriguez
Dave Alexander
Sarah Palmer
Lee Stranahan
Michael Malone
David Edgren
Jerry Fletcher
Chris Heather

…to name just a few.

My family and I don’t need your extra special personalized attention in our lives.  Likewise, I find it reasonable to presume that you would not enjoy my narrowly focused, high impact, personalized response to such interference. So forgive me for believing it’s just best for everyone if I prevent you from acting on your obsessive compulsion, and act accordingly, even though you cannot.

NARRATOR: In other words, Bill…FUCK OFF.

You want me to engage directly with you? Fine.  I’ve said before that the comments are open, even to you, as long as you can maintain a certain level of decorum (let’s just say if you demand that I stop contacting you on my own blog, you’re gonna get slapped down hard).

I’ll even come over to Twitter from time to time.  It will be up to you to figure out if it’s me. I guarantee I will cop to it if you ask. And when you block me (which you always do…because THAT is what creampuff cowardly snowflakes do, you useless PUSSY), I will expose your continuing cowardice right here.

That’s the deal.

Step up or step off.