The all-things-organic-exit-obsessed Bill Schmalfeldt we all know and love!
Be sure to tell April all about your poop-sniffing, turd-rolling blog, ColoRectoRama!
Helpfully saved right here!
Yeah, he mad.
Come on, you DUMBFUCK, if you think mud can fly in both directions, go ahead and sling away! You haven’t ever been close to throwing in my direction, owing to tour deluded obsession with the vanished Patrick Grady.
When was he last heard from, anyway? I’m sure it’s pinned up on your conspiracy wall.
Tell us, Projection Boy, was it when he traveled to Maryland to fight a peace order while you peed your skirts in fear? Or was it when you curb-rubbed your tires to death and filed a false police report before fleeing into the waiting arms of Woody Woodchipper the Great Inflatable Soulmate?
Tell us please, you Superbad 8 Time LOLSUIT Failure, all about the fire and brimstone you will rain down upon me, whom you can’t even identify.
If you think I’m laughing at you, if you think I’m having FUN…
You’re absolutely goddamn right!
But to be perfectly serious for just a moment: I’m just one Zombie. There are THOUSANDS more people laughing at you. I really wish you were just 1% as smart as you think you are, because if you were, you might stand a chance of finding all the encrypted butthurt the internet can offer you, and then witnessing your impotent rage would be like driving a Ferrari instead of a refurbished Yugo.
As you continue building your lifelong legacy of #EPICFAIL, please at least try to entertain me.
It might not be the very least you can do, but it’s in the bottom 3.
Before all else, I want to tip my hat to Sonoran Conservative for his excellent commentary on the Bill Schmalfeldt rant below. If you haven’t already checked it out, I recommend you do so.
I have a somewhat different take, which I was unable to address yesterday thanks to real world commitments.
After the complete rant, read on:
Yes, Aaron. I was “misdiagnosed” by an expert on the subject 18 years ago today. In that time I learned how to fake misfiring neurons in my brain to FOOL doctors who were doing my deep brain stimulation. But the Hogewash Neurology Council says I’m faking it. How can one argue?
A man who cleans the dogshit from his wife’s kennels is also an expert on progressive neurological disorders? Imagine my surprise. Now scoop up that shit, Doggy Style before your wife gets sore!
Seems to me that if anyone seriously believes I am faking my diagnosis, they owe it to the taxpayers to contact the Office of Personnel Management and DEMAND that they review my case. Contact Social Security, too. Be ready to identify yourself and provide proof. Cowards. #DARE!
I’m sure that the professionals at OPM and Social Security will be more than happy to take the word of anonymous cowards and a shit-encrusted kennel cleaner over the evidence obtained from actual medical professionals. Trump-sucking morons!
Now, before Hoggy’s soft-skulled amen choir goes running to the OPM and Social Security to disclose the “fraud” they say I am perpetrating on the government, a word of advice. They won’t listen to anonymous people. And providing false info to a federal agency is a felony. Ready?
I mean, if you are SURE I am “faking” my 18-year struggle with Parkinson’s, how can you call yourself a PATRIOT if you let me get away with it? You OWE it to AMERICA to turn me in. Step up, state your name, provide your proof. Unless you are afraid. You aren’t AFRAID, are you?
My God, such a rich lode of Slovenian horse crap! Where do I begin?
Continue reading “Back In the Game, Using His Own Name?”
I love when a DUMBFUCK tries to insult someone’s intelligence, only to lace up the golf cleats once more and stomp his crank by fucking up the movie reference, making himself look like the idiot he is.
- You have not denied that you moved, only demanded proof that is not required.
- Perhaps you missed the posted clock running on your deadline to disprove t what our anonymous sources told us before we simply assumed it was true, but that has never made a difference to you when you were the one demanding answers and making unfounded assumptions.
There was a clock, and you missed your deadline. Our assumptions are therefore proved correct and accurate.
P.S. When you do file your change of address notification with the court, your lie of omission will be laid bare for the world. Just like all the rest.
On behalf of the Zombie Horde, fuck you, you toothless, cowardly, lying, racist, cocksnogging balloonfucker.
Since the beginning of 2017, Bill Preston-Schmalfeldt, poor, poor, pitiful put-upon Porkinson’s patient who only wants to be left alone in peace, has published EIGHT stories in as many months about a reporter he commenced harassing some five years ago. The following links are broken:
Poor, poor, pitiful put-upon prevaricating Porkinson’s pants-pisser Bill Preston-Schmalfeldt has also published the following stories since the beginning of 2017 about an attorney in good standing within his legal community and before the bar who wants nothing to do with the stupid, lying motherfucker currently serving as Editor-at-Large and Chief Dimwit in Command of Breitbart Unmasked. The following links are also broken:
How can this lying, shit-sniffing, turdrolling valor stealing DUMBFUCK make it more obvious that he only wants not to be bothered and picked on by people who respect the people he wants to be left alone to bother and pick on?
People, I’m serious as a large hematoma sustained in a massive vertical aerial impact passing from mattress to armchair (that’s “a bruise from falling out of bed like a klutzy DUMBFUCK,” for those of you who speak normal English) here!
It’s obvious to anyone with three working brain cells what ALWAYS precedes a brief period of peace and quiet for the DUMBFUCK. (HINT – It’s not a LOLSUIT!) Why isn’t he smart enough to figure it out, other than the notion that he’s almost certainly two or more brain cells short of the minimum requirement?
“proper response” means you delete your blog so the shitsniffing balloonfucker doesn’t publish the divorce and bankruptcy information of someone who hasn’t been online for almost two years because the ADJUDICATED CYBERSTALKER lacks the sack and the skills to come straight at you. #Extortion
Oh, and let’s not forget…calling someone a “cyberthug?”
Them’s fightin’ words. So sayeth DUMBFUCK his own self.
A face for radio, a voice for newsprint. – Mike Royko
Should have been a social media marketer.
You know, when it comes to “turd lickers,” (did I ever tell you how much I admire your turn of a phrase? GOD, I HOPE NOT!) there’s only one person I can think of who has ever come close to doing so…
I have never seen anything like this. I have never SMELLED anything like this.
The smell, best as I can describe it, reminds one of a mixture of rotting fish, lawn clippings and chemical cleansers.
If you’re watching the video I shot today, this is what was coming out of me that you can NOT see in the video!
Now, you’re going to think this odd. But at this point, I don’t CARE!
When I wiped, there was this little bright green glob on the paper. I decided to examine it.
I rolled it around a little. I sniffed it. It was like a booger, only far, FAR stinkier! Never — NEVER — have I seen such a thing in my stool.
And I think we all know who that is, don’t we?