Who The Hell Is “Sarah Pallmer?”

And more importantly, where can I get one of those cool uniforms you have to wear for blustering?

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No, seriously – did you INTEND to make 7 mistakes in just 140 characters, Mr. GS-13? (I deduce that you meant the first word to be ALLCAPS, or it would be 8 mistakes, DUMBFUCK.)

Either wait for the hangover to pass or pour a little hair of the dog before you tweet.

Now go sniff a turd, toddlerstalker.

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Good Afternoon, DUMBFUCK!

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Asked and answered, pro se DUMBFUCK.

Collette Stranahan.

Next question.

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Why Am I So Quiet Today?

…here where DUMBFUCK can see?

He thinks he’s crowing today.  He sent this email to some folks at a company called CBRE.

He probably sent it to all the top floor management, virtually guaranteeing it will get circular filed by all the Executive Admins and they’ll all have a good laugh in the cafeteria at lunch.

I notice that he carefully blocked out the name of the person he was talking about, so it’s very hard to tell who he’s faildoxing today.

Letterz1

Really hard.

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I mean, who would ever be able to guess?

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Practically impossible to figure it out!Letterz4

DUMBFUCK…why do you even bother?  And more to the point, how do you manage?  You are the lovechild of Wile E. Coyote and every Tannen male from the Back To The Future trilogy – you run confidently off the nearest cliff, hang there triumphantly for five seconds, and fall straight down into a steaming pile of fresh Slovenian horse manure!

A friend of mine commented on your latest exploit earlier. He said, “Good Lord, is he dumb.”

I said, “Yeah…but FUN to watch!”

I’ll bet in high school your classmates voted you “Most Likely to Run Away and Join The Circus and Mysteriously Vanish Never To Be Seen Again, or Join the Navy Because No One Will Hire Him In This Town.”

But I digress…

Why am I so quiet today?

Isn’t it obvious, DUMBFUCK?

Because it makes you DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCE!

monkey_dance

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Well, Think About It In Geological Time Scales

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About as long as it takes for a a pebble to fall from the lip of the Grand Canyon to the bottom.

On the other hand, how long will it take to backtrace that photo to me?

The Earth will burn to a cinder first.

Please, feel free to hold your breath.

It’s a lot of fun watching other people make you dance!

You have no idea the number and quality of the netizens whom you have pissed off in your cyber-travels, Gulliver.

And you want to know something even funnier?

Neither do I!

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DUMBFUCK Don’t Hafta Remember EVERYTHING…

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…but DUMBFUCK really ought to work on remembering IMPORTANT things…

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Watch me get all shriveled now!

Look what you’ve done!  Oh, I’m melting, melting! Ohhhh, What a world…what a world…

Sorry for mixing my opium-fueled fairy tales, y’all…

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ECF 24 – Motion to Supplement on PACER

There’s also a Motion for Summary Judgment, which seems a little premature, but then I hear that’s always been a problem for DUMBFUCK…

There may be a few…uh…transcription errors! Yeah!  in this version of the pleading.

Whoops.

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The Big Red Button

imageReminding DUMBFUCK of what a cowardly Gamma do-nothing he has been his entire life is just about the easiest push on his vast array of emo reactionary buttons.

There are few things more satisfying than the weak reaction you know is coming from a crazed little weasel who has never risen a single morning in his life without the fear that Mommy will once more burst into the room with clothespins to snap onto his weenie.

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What?

You mean the lovely and talented Cindy hasn’t come dashing to your door with a new DECLARATION to include in your next example of legal rhetorical mastery?

I’m shocked – SHOCKED!!

Dance back into your bottle, shitsniffer.

You’re drinking Blackbush tonight, right, in honor of the holiday?

You know what that was?

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Just A Thought

Earlier today, DUMBFUCK posted the following audio. He says there are no restrictions on the use of it, but he is a world-renowned DUMBFUCK of zero esteem, so I have used the archive.is link here, and not the link he posted.

You can listen to it or not. It sounds like Robbie the Robot with a mouthful of glass wrapped in tinfoil, whispering through cinder blocks from the bottom of a well. Good luck figuring out what he’s on about.

Anyway, he proclaims that Sarah Palmer told NINE PROBABLE LIES WHILE UNDER OATH!!1!1!!1ELEVENTY11!1!11!1!!!

And by God, DUMBFUCK is going to do…something…ABOUT IT!

HARRUMPH!!

No, he isn’t.

He could have…in January.
All he had to do was show up…in January.
But he didn’t, the lazy, stupid TURDROLLING SHITSNIFFING TODDLERSTALKER.

Truth is still a defense to defamation, isn’t it?

I thought so.

He could have appealed the ruling. But that too would have required SHOWING UP, and if there’s one thing Gamma Boy knows how to do, it’s cut and run when things get tough.

Hmm…okay, if there are TWO THINGS the Gutless Gamma knows how to do, they are 1) cut and 2) run when things…

If there are THREE things the DEMENTED DUMBFUCK knows how to to do, they are 1) cut, 2) run for the hills and 3) weep into his petticoats when…

Dammit, if there are FOUR things the TEARSTAINED TURDROLLER knows how to do, they are 1) cut, 2) run for the hills, 3) weep into his sandy petticoats and 4) try to re-litigate his epic failures on Twitter when things get rough.

And I’m stopping there because real life awaits.

But Vinnie says “Hey.”

DM

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