Wait…They Can Do That?

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So I’m hearing murmurs of MoveOn getting spooked by the notion of a GOP Congress using some obscure process called “reconciliation” to pass bad laws.

Eek.

I wonder what MoveOn will do when someone whispers in their little ears an explanation of how Obamacare became law.

Pro tip: you won’t find it in a Schoolhouse Rock singalong.

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Butthurt ≠ Tort

I live in Taint Louis. He lives in my head rent free. He continues to write false reviews of my droppings on the web to get folks to cease purchasing them. Now I may only sell one copy instead of two. He continues to contact me because I continue to contact him even though I think I told him to stop. But I can’t be sure. He writes defamatory things about me on other blogs that are funnier than the defamatory things I write about people. Without getting too far into the weeds here (because I am a BIG FREAKING WEED), if I want to bring false harassment/stalking charges against this person, do I file in my Taint or in my head? Thanks.

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Updated Book Review

Some of you may have noticed that my review of Animus Nocendi was taken down from Amazon after a few days. Apparently someone’s sand-filled girlyparts got even more irritated than usual and they complained about the “spiteful language.”

So I thought I’d try again.

I had written a review of this book previously, but it was apparently censored for “spiteful” language. Call me silly, but I think if a writer can’t take a little criticism without wetting himself, he might be in the wrong line of work. But anyway, let’s take another look.

A very, very high percentage of this work is comprised of public domain court documents and “borrowed” blog posts which have been sufficiently butchered by the author that they conform to the Fair Use Doctrine, if only just. The only original content in this book is a few paragraphs of commentary to break up the various borrowed content, so I will confine my review to that.

The original material is not actually bad for an unedited first draft. This book is consistent with others by this author in this respect; if nothing else, his prodigious self-published output provides compelling evidence for the necessity of the editor in the writing process. An editor could provide not just correction for the spelling, grammatical and usage errors which have made it to the page; she could also improve the voice and tone here. What sounds like a very young, profane and angry writer could be smoothed out into a more a mature and adult voice, de-emphasizing the hyper-emotional style in favor of a more rational discourse.

As someone who is reasonably familiar with the facts of the cases discussed in the book (I was an unserved party in one, and an interested observer in the others), I should say that the facts of this case are rarely addressed by the author. He twists them. He perverts them. He passes off his unsupported conclusions as “facts.” He makes up a few outright falsehoods and tries to pass them off as “facts” as well, particularly in ascribing motivations to the actions of others in this little psychodrama. Conversely, he also omits several facts about himself which would greatly change the tone of the story.

That’s all right, though. That’s what hagiography is. Without a completely virtuous hero and completely evil antagonists, the whole effort is a complete failure even before it’s published.

And sometimes, it’s a complete failure anyway.

X-posted at Fair Use Parody Productions.

UPDATE –

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My ever-so-Dependable little dancing monkey waltzed out to note that while my original review did irritate his sandy vagina (he didn’t deny it, so I can now assume it’s true that he has a vagina and it is filled with sand, based on his journalistic ethics, right?), he was not responsible for getting the original review taken down.

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The Thinking Man’s Zombie regrets the error, while also noting that he felt the need to contact Amazon again regarding this most recent review.

A PLUPERFECT example of how he assigns false motivations to others’ actions in real life as well as in print. In his addled mind it could not possibly be true that his book simply sucks.

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You Want It Done? You Want It Over? Simple.

Here’s a road map:

1. You surrender and slink off the field like the cowardly weasel you are;
2. I stand victorious, absorbing the accolades of the cheering throngs;
3. After a fortnight of celebration in my camps, coinciding with a fortnight of complete silence from your camp, I withdraw to the border status quo ante, to take up watch;
4. If you remain silent, you remain free, but at the first hint of a desire to renew hostilities, I rejoin the battle and once again bring all my energy and resources to bear.

Or…

We can keep going just like we are now.

I dropped my sword and walked away once, at the request of John Hoge. Remember what happened next? I do.

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So you’ll pardon me if I respond your assurance that you will drop your sword with a) a 50 lb bag of rock salt, b) a hale and hearty GFY, and c) a requirement of 100% compliance with my terms as a condition of your surrender.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

And, taking a page from your book, this is not a negotiation.

If you try to negotiate, the beat goes on.

If you question, the beat goes on.

If you bother anyone else, even somebody I don’t know or care about, the beat goes on.

If you cannot figure out how to control yourself, the beat goes on.

If you want it to stop, then stop it.

All you have to do is quit, and weather the shame of it for 2 weeks, probably less. Easy enough if you just power down and read a nice Danielle Steel or Jackie Collins rag. If you’re half as intelligent as you think you are, you know you are going to have to take that hit – it will come regardless, and I don’t have any power over what people say on Twitter. Yes, I do have power over the comments here, but I made a conscious decision to allow exactly the kind of comments you decry, including from you. I will not change that policy to suit you or anyone else. You dug your own hole here, and you hastened your own exit after being given every chance. You didn’t care enough to answer one question. Your choice. Your action. Your consequence. Your responsibility.

You want a “truce?”

Now you know how to get it.

I hope I have not been unclear.

UPDATE –
https://twitter.com/parkinsonsmedia/status/513031724608266242

https://twitter.com/parkinsonsmedia/status/513031869072703488

Wait…what?

Are you saying you NEVER WERE SERIOUS ABOUT A TRUCE?

Well…color me shocked.

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A: I Call It "Sauce For the Goose"

Q:
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So that happened.

You know he shut down that Twitter account at 11:00 AM ET, right?

Riiiiiight.

I think maybe I was successful in emulating a different writing style.

By applying Elkridge logic, there are only two possibilities:

A. I am a plagiarist, or
B. I am Bill Schmalfeldt.

So, to avoid being sued –

…wait… I can do this… Hold it together… c’mon…

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Damn. I really thought I could do it.

Anyway, I’d hate to run afoul of the DMCA, so I took it down (are you fucking kidding me? Not on his life!) I made a few changes.

You can go back and look, or not.

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Do We Have A Wager?

So, the latest masturb-piece out of Elkridge weighs in at 272 pages.

Bally’s Las Vegas Sports Book he’s set the over/under on original content at 48 pages.

The under is calling me. Any takers?

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