Everything Old (And Stupid, Pointless, Bound To Fail)…

…is New (and Stupid, Pointless, Bound to Fail) Again!

REBRANDING!!!

Please welcome the all-same-old, all-stupid, all-poop-obsessed, racist, bigoted, anti-Semite, misogynist, stolen valor (boy, I hope the PD at KDSN read those posts), hypocritical, pet abandoning, almost was a radio host again until he started insulting potential listeners before he got on the air, lying motherfucker Bill Schmalfeldt back to Twitter as @TrumpThumpCast.

At least for a couple days, anyway.

Have we reached 250 handles yet? Or are we not getting excited again until he nears 300 handles, which should be right around the 4th of July, I think?

I wonder why this blog keeps getting hits from Denison, Iowa?  It never used to…perhaps someone is someone stuck there without a job or the means to get back to South Carolina? Someone who just wants to be left alone and live his life, if only he could break this addiction to butthurt?

What a shame…(not really)…

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Did He Tell Them He’s CRIPPLED With Sinusoidal Fakinson’s Dizeeze?

Given the tight schedule there in Denison (closer than Clinton, for some people, anyway)…

I don’t see how he’s going to get a word in edgewise, with all this pre-programmed network content.

Might be fun to hear a DUMBFUCK grapple with a Mike Huckabee commentary in real-time.  Don’t they kind of like Huckabee in the Iowa sticks?

He won’t make it a day before he’s insulting Sarah Huckabee Sanders. That should juice those ratings right up!

And GOSH! Who would have ever thought he’d ever have an actual, publicly available workplace address where he could be served legal papers and such!

And that he’d be stupid enough to say enough about it that a first grader could figure out exactly where he is?

I mean, besides everyone on Earth…

I’ll bet you can call an Uber driver, tip him $10, and he’ll be your private investigator and process server in one neat little package!

Also worth noting: if you, or anyone you know, has hard copies of various restraining orders, peace orders, criminal charging documents, trial transcripts, archived blog posts, salacious legal filings containing humorous yet damaging admissions against interest, or anything else of this general sort…

There’s a fax machine at the radio station for your convenience:

Just sayin’.

Publicly available information and whatnot…

KDSN Radio
1530 Ridge Road
Denison, Iowa 51442
Phone: 712.263.3141
Fax: 712.263.2088

 

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You Mad, Bro?

Yeah, he mad.

Come on, you DUMBFUCK, if you think mud can fly in both directions, go ahead and sling away! You haven’t ever been close to throwing in my direction, owing to tour deluded obsession with the vanished Patrick Grady.

When was he last heard from, anyway? I’m sure it’s pinned up on your conspiracy wall.

Tell us, Projection Boy, was it when he traveled to Maryland to fight a peace order while you peed your skirts in fear? Or was it when you curb-rubbed your tires to death and filed a false police report before fleeing into the waiting arms of Woody Woodchipper the Great Inflatable Soulmate?

Tell us please, you Superbad 8 Time LOLSUIT Failure, all about the fire and brimstone you will rain down upon me, whom you can’t even identify.

If you think I’m laughing at you, if you think I’m having FUN…

You’re absolutely goddamn right!

But to be perfectly serious for just a moment: I’m just one Zombie. There are THOUSANDS more people laughing at you. I really wish you were just 1% as smart as you think you are, because if you were, you might stand a chance of finding all the encrypted butthurt the internet can offer you, and then witnessing your impotent rage would be like driving a Ferrari instead of a refurbished Yugo.

As you continue building your lifelong legacy of #EPICFAIL, please at least try to entertain me.

It might not be the very least you can do, but it’s in the bottom 3.

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

The projection is strong in you, young 8 time FAILSUIT LOSER. You’re gonna take wives, cars and houses! But you can’t even hold on to your own.

I’m still waiting for the cops to pick me up, you loudmouth idiot.

I saw a story recently about a guy with a 9 cm diameter air pocket where his brain is supposed to be – how did you manage to convince them not to identify you?

Maybe I’ll have to plan a little golf getaway to Myrtle Beach next month. any other Zombie duffers want to join me?

Good thing you’re in Albuquerque, amirite?

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“I’ve Given All That Up,” He Says

Of course you have, DUMBFUCK.

Of course you have.

We are all you have.

Well…us, and fantasies of raping Cub Scouts around the campfire.

Why did you have to move from Iowa to North Dakota, again? I really doubt it was because The Giant made a great career leap in the field of janitorial arts.

And if you’re really wondering how you can honor Mom’s legacy in the time you have left, may I make a humble suggestion? Why not poop on a kitchen chair and then take The Cure? A nice, big exit wound out the top of your dick-dented hat rack would be a beautiful gesture.

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Someone’s Upset

Why would Bill Schmalfeldt be upset that a vulgar, crude man speaks in vulgar crude language?

Or maybe he’s bothered that another man has expressed “great love and affection” for a category of folks in which Bill Schamlfeldt so clearly belongs?

Come out, Bill! It’s okay to be gay!

Just keep the pursuit of Cub Scouts to a minimum.

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The Answer to Your Burning Strawman, DUMBFUCK…

is “YES.”

And you’re too fucking stupid to know why. (Don’t forget, truth is an absolute defense against a defamation claim. So, as it turns out, is lack of personal jurisdiction.)

#virtuesignaling #DUMBFUCK #punchingup

P.S. It’s worth noting that by the same logic, Gail Schmalfeldt would be a lot LESS dead if her soulmate hadn’t spent so much time chasing white whales on the internet…

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No One Expects the REBRANDING!

Translation:

Because the Peckerwrecker has threatened to kick me out if I don’t, I am ending my association with @breitbartunmask and REBRANDING!! effective immediately, instead of waiting until she dies in a puddle up to her armpits of her own waste, like I did in 2015 with what’s-her-name. (Don’t worry though – “Langston Hews” remains on staff, at least until I come up with a new yet equally transparent and stupid pseudonym.) I thank them for giving me the opportunity to spread my unwashed ass cheeks and crap all over their website and contribute to the destruction of what remains of their reputation, just as I have thoroughly dismantled my own. I wish them good luck in cleaning up the remains of what once had the potential to be a web presence as truly useless as Crooks and Liars.

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But He’s On YOOOOUUUUUUUR Side!

REBRANDING IS IMMINENT.

I REPEAT, REBRANDING IS IMMINENT!

Oh, and Twitter’s about to get sued for butthurt.

h/t to commenter Ipen.

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You Know What I Love?

I love when a DUMBFUCK tries to insult someone’s intelligence, only to lace up the golf cleats once more and stomp his crank by fucking up the movie reference, making himself look like the idiot he is.

Stupid motherfucker.

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