Eleven Examples

Since the beginning of 2017, Bill Preston-Schmalfeldt, poor, poor, pitiful put-upon Porkinson’s patient who only wants to be left alone in peace, has published EIGHT stories in as many months about a reporter he commenced harassing some five years ago. The following links are broken:

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/02/16/lee-stranahan-from-porn-to-press-corps/

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/02/27/meet-lee-stranahan-the-worlds-best-journalist/

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/03/25/documentary-where-in-the-world-is-lee-stranahan/

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/04/05/stranahan-the-traitor-joins-russian-propaganda-machine/

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/04/06/exclusive-stranahans-farewell-gift-from-breitbart-poison/

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/04/08/stranahan-lends-a-hand-to-help-pal-steve-bannon/

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/06/01/lee-stranahan-wants-your-money-to-shoot-a-film/

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/06/15/newsweek-reporter-misleads-readers-about-lee-stranahan/

Poor, poor, pitiful put-upon prevaricating Porkinson’s pants-pisser Bill Preston-Schmalfeldt has also published the following stories since the beginning of 2017 about an attorney in good standing within his legal community and before the bar who wants nothing to do with the stupid, lying motherfucker currently serving as Editor-at-Large and Chief Dimwit in Command of Breitbart Unmasked.  The following links are also broken:

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/05/09/hoge-files-yet-another-contempt-complaint-written-by-aaron-walker/

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/06/11/islamophobe-lawmaker-adopts-aaron-walker-tactic/

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/07/06/is-aaron-walker-the-worst-lawyer-in-america/

How can this lying, shit-sniffing, turdrolling valor stealing DUMBFUCK make it more obvious that he only wants not to be bothered and picked on by people who respect the people he wants to be left alone to bother and pick on?

People, I’m serious as a large hematoma sustained in a massive vertical aerial impact passing from mattress to armchair (that’s “a bruise from falling out of bed like a klutzy DUMBFUCK,” for those of you who speak normal English) here!

It’s obvious to anyone with three working brain cells what ALWAYS precedes a brief period of peace and quiet for the DUMBFUCK.  (HINT – It’s not a LOLSUIT!) Why isn’t he smart enough to figure it out, other than the notion that he’s almost certainly two or more brain cells short of the minimum requirement?

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Let’s Fisk Again, Like We Did Last Summer

STUPID Lying Motherfucker Bill Schmalfeldt left a comment at the Artisan Craft Blog yesterday which is deserving of some special attention…

You obviously do not have a copy of the first e-mail I sent to Ms. Hinckley. I, however, do.

Hey, what a coincidence! So do I! Although the copy I was provided had the images redacted, because most people (present company excluded) had more respect for your wife’s dignity than you did.

The one where I wrote, “As your husband was one of the people suggesting my wife’s death was a scam I was trying to pull on people, I feel you deserve to see this picture. If it gets published anywhere, I will know who did it as it hasn’t been published anywhere else.” A normal person would read that as an instruction to NOT publish the picture. But look at who spread the picture around…

No, a normal person would read that as the weak roar of a toothless lion who already knows that once he presses the SEND button, that picture is gonna get published, and that lion is not interested in PREVENTING its publication but is in fact ACTIVELY FACILITATING IT. And in telegraphing that he knows there is absolutely nothing he can do to stop it, and nothing he can do to anyone (like me) who chooses to publish it.

Oh, wait… the COPS sent it to Grady!
No, it was the authorities in Carroll County! THOSE bastards sent the photo to Grady.

Wrong and wrong.  No one sent it to Grady.

Someone sent it to me. The email said Mort in Maryland. I think that name might have been fake.

Grady was the first one to publish it.

Wrong again.

Now, because karma, Grady no longer has a wife.

Oh, please…please expand on the unique knowledge that you have of Grady’s divorce, all while trying to explain how HE’S STALKING YOU, YOU STUPID LYING MOTHERFUCKER.

The only difference? Mine did not choose to leave me.

Janina and Janice would like a word.

Shame on you all.

Your game, your rules.  You first.

 

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A Solid Prediction

Several months from now, when LOLSUIT VIII goes the way of LOLSUITS I through VII (down in the flames of pro se motions to dismiss from all defendants)…

…this will be the post that I call back to when it’s time to say to Stolen Valor DUMBFUCK Bill Schmalfeldt:

  • I told you so…
  • He told you so…
  • She told you so…
  • Everyone – EVERYONE – told you so…

And when I say “Everyone” I mean “Everyone with more than a single digit IQ.”

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And What Have We Here?

A freshly active Team Free Speech Blog!  Right here at sonoranconservative.com!

Seven new posts just in the last three days, all dedicated to pointage, laughery and mockification of Moobflop McBeetusflesh!

I wonder what could have happened so recently to motivate the rapid creation of YET ANOTHER website dedicated to pointing out the MASSIVE LIFE FAILURES of Homo Simpson?

Surely it couldn’t have been in response to the DUMBFUCKERY of a DUMBFUCK!

Remember, people!  Don’t fuck with Moobflop McBeetusflesh or anyone he pre 10 ds to love while telling them he’s like to bend another man over a chair and rape them!  You’ll only wind up in his crosshairs, just like me – laughing at him every single day for the rest of his life.

 

 

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Yes, Marvin…

…take this shit seriously.

This is not a game, and if you aren’t careful, perhaps three and a half years from now you will suffer the wrath of Preston-Schmalfeldt (*snerk*) just as deeply as I have.

And let me tell you, having this much fun laughing at idiots every single day can be exhausting.

But someone has to.

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Denials Require Proof, You Say?

Well, it’s a well known fact that Bill Schmalfeldt once alleged in a federal lawsuit that his cousin Roy Schmalfeldt defamed him by accusing him of rape.  Bill Schmalfeldt also dismissed that lawsuit with prejudice, which leaves him legally unable to deny that he is, in fact, a rapist.

If what Bill Schmalfeldt says today – “DENIALS REQUIRE PROOF!” – what other things has he done that he cannot provide proof that he never did?

  • Did he in fact get kicked to the curb by St. Gail after befouling his marriage bed with Hell’s Kitchen Kate?
  • Did he in fact live the remainder of his marriage with St. Gail in separate beds because her condition for allowing him into the tincasa was the permanent withholding of spousal privileges?
  • Did he in fact scam the National Institutes of Health into a pensioned disability retirement?
  • Did he in fact ever have a job in journalism or radio from which he was not fired?
  • Was he in fact evicted from the enclave of the NINJANUNS?
  • Did he in fact violate his lease in Iowa to escape to his new Inflatababe?
  • Did he in fact fail to inform the states of Wisconsin, Iowa and possibly South Carolina of his disability, thus fraudulently acquiring driver’s licenses in one or more of those states?
  • Did he in fact administer multiple pairs of Irish Sunglasses to his soulmate throughout their marriage?
  • Was she in fact too quick for him to catch?
  • Did he in fact abandon four pets in two states to the streets?
  • Were those pets in fact served as entrees in various Asian restaurants?
  • Did he in fact leave the urn behind in Iowa?
  • Did he in fact murder his first wife and chop her body into stew meat?
  • Does he in fact no longer take any medications for Parkinson’s?’

As the GREASE-SWEATING BEETUSBUCKET DUMBFUCK says, 

DENIALS REQUIRE PROOF!

Based on the Rules of Schmalfeldt, simply because I say so, all these things are true. The only way to disprove them is for DUMBFUCK – in true Alinsky style – to live up to his own rule book and provide sufficient proof to the negative.

And naturally I am the judge of sufficiency.

I’ll wait.

But only until 9 PM Eastern.

And you know, if anyone thinks of anything else he needs to provide denials for, leave a comment.

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Poor, Poor, Pitiful DUMBFUCK

No matter how many new blogs…

No matter how many new Twitter handles…

No matter how many new podcasts…

No matter how many new wives…

He can’t change who he is…

He will always be Bill Schmalfeldt, Demented Cyberstalker.

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Let’s Play “Spot the Lies”

Here, I’ll help!

I suppose it might be overstating things to call these lies, if you subscribe to Costanza logic:

They could be “alternative truths,” to use a popular phrase.  And DUMBFUCK, in spite of all the evidence of the last five years, may even believe he is speaking truth.  If, for the eighth time in three years, he loses a LOLSUIT on a “technicality,” (DON’T LAUGH) he may actually believe he won’t simply forget it all happened and try again.

I’ve heard these Fatkinson’s sufferers have profound memory issues when it suits them.

Well, it is a lie, if the liar changing his mind proceeds as I have foreseen.

Of course there’s always the possibility of a NEW & IMPROVED strategy that no one could have ever foreseen.

Though it would be an awful waste of the great monikers we have already banked for LOLSUITS IX – XIII if the Inflatable Boifriend starts taking the lead.  Will we have to go back to LOLSUIT I in that case?

LOLSUIT I – Under Pressure?
LOLSUIT I – She’s Gonna Blow!
LOLSUIT I – Pressure Drop
LOLSUIT I – Inflated Ego

Who knows?

 

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Good Evening, DUMBFUCK!

Self Awareness Fail #INFINITY:

Admitting you have a problem is the first step. It says so in the book for the Friends of (a Different) Bill. I feel I need to make that distinction because everyone knows this Bill has no friends. I wouldn’t want anyone to be confused.

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Good Morning, Mr. “Families-are-off-limits-for-thee-but-not-for-me” DUMBFUCK!

The way I hear it, the reason you would imply that the President’s son isn’t the President’s son is “been there, done that, got cuckolded by three wives and have multiple kids with your name but not your DNA,” amirite?

THE INTERNET IS FOREVER, OVERSHARER.

You know the rumor about your dead wife and what a mattressback roundheel she was, right?

I’ll bet the next one will be too. If you ever find a real one.

NTTAWWT.

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