THE FOLLOWING IS A PARODY OF THE POST LINKED HERE: http://billschmalfeldt.net/2016/07/06/sarah-palmer-crosses-the-legal-line/, WRITTEN BY BILL SCHMALFELDT ON JULY 6, 2016.
DO NOT CLICK THAT LINK (IT ISN’T A REAL LINK ANYWAY). IT WILL ONLY ENCOURAGE HIM. BESIDES, THE POST WILL SOON BE DELETED IN A FLOOD OF FEAR PEE, WHICH IS THE HALLMARK OF PRIDE THAT PUNCTUATES THE PATHETIC EXISTENCE OF THE AUTHOR.
INSTEAD, READ THE POST WHERE IT HAS BEEN ARCHIVED AS ETERNAL PROTECTION AGAINST THE INEVITABLE DELETION AND SPOLIATION OF EVIDENCE THAT WILL TAKE PLACE SOMETIME SOON.
SAFE LINK: http://archive.is/5CE5f
On her blog, Sarah Palmer — a recent defendant in the lawsuit I lost in humiliating fashion in US District Court in Milwaukee — is provably a better forger and a better liar than I am and I can probe it.
By the way, in the interest of full disclosure, not only did I get my ass handed to me as a Plaintiff in Wisconsin, I am ALSO a defendant IN DEFAULT in a totally different lawsuit in Maryland, where I am on the verge of losing all of my worldly possessions.
Isn’t that FUN?
In the comments of her blog post https://billysez.wordpress.com/2016/07/02/lets-talk-about-the-intent-of-art-shall-we/ there is a post comment (which I wrote) from me.
Now, I clearly did NOT write that comment. And here’s the proof.
80. Guess what I like to drink that’s 80 proof. Hint: It’s RED Vroom! VROOM!!
But I digress.
The name on the comment says “Bill Schmalfeldt.” Now, my name is Bill Schmalfeldt, but that looks EXACTLY LIKE my name. Therefore, because my name Bill Schmalfeldt is never the same Bill Schmalfeldt twice, it cannot possibly be my name, because it looks exactly like my name. Sarah alleges something quite different in her blog post https://billysez.wordpress.com/2016/07/05/yeah-this-really-makes-him-look-good-not/. She alleges I wrote the following instead of the comment above.
It was a snarky response, if I wrote it (which I did, because I’m snarky that way, and by “that way,” all you MILWAUKEE AREA LADIES ONLY, I mean I think urinating on children is the FUNNIEST. THING. EVAR!!), in reply to the comment seen above mine about the “depraved” nature of a comedy bit (about raping Cub Scouts in the ass, MILWAUKEE AREA LADIES ONLY!) I recorded in 2013. I don’t claim to have written the second version either, but it does look like something I may have written.
Did I mention I have Advanced Late Stage PARKINSONS!! Dementia? I don’t remember. There are a lot of things I don’t remember…
Sadly, Sarah Palmer has destroyed the only way (that I can think of, anyway, because I’m a demented DUMBFUCK) to prove I wrote it.
THINGS TO NOTICE:
The comment above mine in the first screencap has a link to “Jane’s” avatar page. She’s a hateful bitch and I want to urinate on her kids. My comment has no link, and my name is listed as Bill Schmalfeldt. Which is my name!
Now, we go to the WordPress.com “Reader.” Let’s compare what is on the “Reader” with what’s on the live site.
In case you are confused by my writing (it’s okay, almost everyone is, especially MILWAUKEE AREA LADIES ONLY), what you see above is the LIVE SITE, which does not reflect any changes I may or may not have made to my Gravatar profile prior to writing this post. I’m not saying I did. I’m not saying I didn’t. Because I’m not under oath, and Gravatar has not been subpoenaed for their change logs yet.
Now, we compare to what’s on the WordPress.com “Reader.”
wmsbroadcasting.wordpress.com is a website I have not used since I can’t remember deleting it while writing this post. The last time anyone archived something I published there that was embarrassing and stupid enough to save FOREVER to the Wayback Machine was 2014.
Now look at the post below mine (the one I wrote).
My comment (that I wrote) at 9:19 PM on July 2 was 4 days ago. But MJ’s comment?
MJ’s comment from 11:47 PM on the same day was 3 days ago.
If I were smart enough to do simple math like 9 – 5 = 3, then I would probably conclude that I did all this screencapping between 9:19 PM on July 6 when my comment (which I wrote) entered it’s 4th day of existence, and 11:47 PM on July 6 while MJ’s comment was still in its 3rd day of existence.
But I can’t do math, so that’s not what happened. It must be forgery by somebody. There is no third option. There’s never a third option when you’re Bill Schmalfeldt.
Sarah posted this earlier today to PROBE she hadn’t forged anything.
So, why does THIS one have my name and avatar, not my new pen name? Was it taken before I changed the name on my Gravatar profile? Why does it link to a website I deleted yesterday? Was it taken before I removed the link to this website that I deleted in a flood of fear pee for reasons even I am too addled by dementia to recall? And where IS this quote located? Did she make this one up, too? Does she have that flag set on her blog that sends her an email for every comment she receives?
I sure hope not, because if she does, then she could prove the content of the original comment (which I wrote) and I would be in BIG FUCKING TROUBLE if I sued her. It’s a good thing she doesn’t have that flag set then. I know she doesn’t because I am Bill Schmalfeldt Who Did Not Write That Comment (even though I totally did), and there is NEVER A THIRD OPTION. Besides, there is no copy of the original to be found (at least not by me, and I’m the only one who matters) that I would trust to be unaltered.
So, at the VERY least, we (me and the naughty hamster crawling around my transverse colon) know Sarah Palmer has manufactured a comment I never made. And we (hmmm…should I tell about the Cub Scout and the crowbar? Maybe later) can PROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBE!!! it. Can I file a lawsuit for defamation?
Will it fail as spectacularly as every other lawsuit I have ever filed?
She is no longer protected by the shield of CDA 230,
Those are screen caps of some crap I wrote myself to make it look like authoritative legalese. You can tell because THERE ARE NO LINKS. I’d link it if it were actually useful to me. But it’s just a bunch of horseshit (HORSESHIT?!? Where are the postal inspectors? Have they visited my SHIT SENDER that I found yet? When will the FEDERAL CRIMINAL CHARGES BE FILED FOR MAKING MY BELOVED THROW UP AFTER I FORCED HER TO OPEN MY MAIL?), not worth anything but fertilizing your garden.
And I will file in the correct jurisdiction this time. Because you know what they say: SEVENTH TIME’S THE CHARM. Oh, Sarah need not worry that I will cause myself any injury traveling to and from North Carolina. It will be someone else’s fault. It’s always someone else’s fault. Once the court sees the proof of her multiple defamatory statements, and the fact that she no longer can claim protection under the CDA since she has altered comments to change the meaning into something defamatory, I’ll never have to set foot in the Tarheel State, unless she retains an attorney who requests a hearing. Or if the case, you know, actually goes to trial. This will be a slam dunk. As long as I don’t get a horrible, bitchy, icky female girl-type African American-tinged Obama-appointed magistrate judge who could never see things my way without bothering to look at the arguments from both sides to see which one of us sleeps with a bed full of bridge mix because he’s fucking nuts (hint: BOOGA BOOGA!!).
If Sarah had a decent lawyer who was not on the verge of getting in line behind HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!! to sue me for everything I own, he would probably tell her the same thing that guy told her, which was probably something like:
You’re being sued by an idiotic monkey. I have an ethical responsibility to be, not exactly nice to him, but to deal with him fairly. So I’m going to offer a settlement which he is probably too stupid to understand is the best deal he’s going to get. I foresee that, like the idiot he is, he will reject it and try to get me disqualified. I foresee that I will then proceed to kick his fucking head right off his shoulders (in a strictly legal sense) and make him look like a dancing monkey trying to fuck a bouncing football. When, as I have foressen, the case is inevitably dismissed for lack of personal jurisdiction, which I will have explained to him and he will have forgotten, I foresee that I will then try to get him to realize we are going to file for sanctions and attorney fees per applicable statute. I further foresee that because he’s an idiot monkey with hairless testicles for feet, he will probably file a bar complaint against me. Then, not only will you, as a client, have even moar grounds for sanctions, I will be able to use his bar complaint as evidence of his failure to negotiate in good faith. Exactly as I have foreseen. This will lead to EVEN MOAR SANCTIONS! And we will laugh. And then I will sue him in Virginia, because by filing a bar complaint there, he automatically subjects himself to personal jurisdiction there. I wouldn’t even have to make the argument that he has serially failed to make SIX TIMES OVER! I hope his sister has a spare bedroom.
If it were me advising her, I’d tell her the same thing I tell everyone but myself: to close her blog and salt the earth over it so nothing grows in its place. But I am a stupid person and and I only take advice from people who are more stupid than me.
In other words, I never take advice from anyone.