Good Evening, DUMBFUCK!

Maybe try posting the picture again, DUMBFUCK – see if anybody bites. Third time’s the charm, right?

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FAILDOX – A How-To Guide

When you commence to faildox someone, it’s always best to start with an assumption that can’t be proved.  A couple examples:

  • A commenter identifying himself by two letters must be using HIS OWN INITIALS, and not someone else’s.
  • A commenter identifying himself by two letters must be using his FIRST and LAST initials, and ONLY IN THAT ORDER. He cannot use a FIRST and MIDDLE initial, or a MIDDLE and LAST initial, and certainly not in reverse order.  That’s just simply against the rules.
  • Sonoran Conservative can only mean he’s from Sonora, California, and not
    • Sonora, Ohio
    • Sonora, North Dakota
    • Sonora, New York
    • Sonora, Missouri
    • Sonora Mississippi
    • Sonora, Kentucky
    • Sonora, Arkansas,
    • Sonora, Arizona
    • Sonora Texas
    • Sonora, Canada
    • Or any of the 5 Sonoras scattered across Mexico.
  • “I started high school at the end of the Carter administration” can only mean 1980. It surely can’t be 1979.
  • Even if 1980 is correct, it absolutely MUST follow that a student starting in 1980 CAN ONLY graduate in 1984. No high school student has ever been held back a year. Nor has any high school student ever been sick or injured and failed to graduate with his class. And even though I know several people from my college who whizzed through high school in just three years, that couldn’t possibly be the case here. Oh, and if I remember correctly, there were still three-year high schools that started with 10th grade in various parts of the country back in 1980. But none of these things could have happened.  That would require due diligence that hotshot investigative reporters just don’t have time for.
  • Here’s another fun thought…was Sonora Union High School the ONLY high school serving that community in 1980? What were the residency boundaries?  If an “MJ” did live in the Sonoma, CA area (again, a very large and unproven assumption), how does one prove that he or she was the only such “MJ” who did, much less prove that – even if there was only one – this person didn’t attend another nearby high school?

By the way, YOU LARDASS, BEETUSJUICE-DRIPPING DUMBFUCK – when you redact information from a document…REDACT IT EVERYWHERE.  Coulter. You are responsible for me knowing that.

Now, I have no doubt that there is a Michael David Jackson who pled guilty in Pierce County, Washington, to raping his stepdaughters.  The evidence is clear and compelling.  Nearly as compelling as the evidence that Brett Kimberlin is the Speedway Bomber, and that he slept with his wife when she was underage.

I also have no doubt that the commenter MJ is Sonoran Conservative.  Not only have I proven it for myself, Sonoran Conservative has admitted that he comments under both handles.

Here’s what’s missing:

Even one scintilla of proof that Michael David Jackson has ever commented on Hogewash!, Thinking Man’s Zombie or BillySez. 

To make that connection, you ASSUMED, COMPLETELY WITHOUT PROOF, that Sonoran Conservative was from Sonora California, rather than Arizona, Arkansas, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, Canada or any of five towns in Mexico.

Then you doubled that error by further ASSUMING, COMPLETELY WITHOUT PROOF, that Sonoran Conservative attended Sonora Union High School.

Then, you trebled that error by further ASSUMING, COMPLETELY WITHOUT PROOF, that Sonoran Conservative started at this school in 1980.

Then, you quadrupled that error by further ASSUMING, COMPLETELY WITHOUT PROOF, that Sonoran Conservative graduated from high school in 1984.

Then, you quintupled that error by further ASSUMING, COMPLETELY WITHOUT PROOF, that Sonoran Conservative aka MJ actually has a first name that starts with M and a last name that starts with J.

To summarize…

You can say that Sonoran Conservative = MJ
And you can say that David Michael Jackson = Child Rapist

But your conclusion that MJ = David Michael Jackson springs not from facts but from at least five separate proof-deficient assumptions.

  1. You can’t prove that Sonoran Conservative was ever from Sonora, California…you can only shout it.
  2. You can’t prove that Sonoran Conservative ever attended Sonora Union High School…you can only shout it.
  3. You can’t prove that Sonoran Conservative started high school ANYWHERE in 1980…you can only shout it.
  4. You can’t prove that Sonoran Conservative graduated high school ANYWHERE in 1984…you can only shout it.
  5. You can’t prove that Sonoran Conservative has a first name that starts with M and a last name that starts with J…you can only shout it.

Every fact that follows from those assumptions pertains to Michael David Jackson.  Not a single fact connects him to Sonoran Conservative. In legal parlance, the connections you have drawn from these false assumptions – and they are false – are “Fruit of the poisoned tree.”

Also – and you’re gonna love this – it’s defamation per se! You know…”Falsely accusing someone of a crime?” Yeah, you did that.

And the consequences of that failure will be GLORIOUS to see.

  • Blogs will vanish
  • Tweets will vanish
  • Accounts will go private, then be deleted and REBRANDED!!!
  • Tears will fall from sad cheeks
  • Butts will hurt

DOX?

FAIL.

P.S. Con Man 101 – when your mark wants to be told a particular lie (“my fax machine just rang!”), TELL HIM THAT LIE.

P.P.S.

And in case you wondered, EVERYTHING is already archived, so it’s a waste of time to memory-hole your defamation.

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!


And no one forgets that better than you.

But you dance purty.

Dance, monkey! DAAAAAAAAANCE!!!
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I Made a Wrong Turn Near Inyokern

Those naughty wrong turns. I would like to take a moment to apologize to anyone named Sarah Goodman who I thought might be our Dread Zombie Princess, Ashterah, or Sarah Rose.

I missed one turn and wound up at an incorrect address, and for that I am sorry.

Faildox-2The thing that I missed is that the SCA member who, on Facebook, calls herself Sarah Rose, who in the SCA refers to herself as Syele von Dampach, also took part in SCA when she lived in California, in the Kingdom of Caid. Inyokern is smack dab in the middle of the Kingdom of Caid, where young Sarah ******* was born on a warm day in September, 19xx.

And there she lived and grew (and HOW!) according to her old blog, http://sheeple-rage.blogspot.com/

Faildox-1

Let me quote.

“Thursday, September 07, 2006
Happy birthday to me!
Tomorrow is my birthday. And my body has decided to give me a present – 41 pounds lost since surgery! Whoo-hoo! I am so not going to complain about this. This means that I’m down to 274. I haven’t been this size since Thing Two was about a year old. I just need to keep it up. And when the hell are the clothes sizes going to start going down? Aaagh! I’ll take the poundage lost, though.”

Well. Sarah lived in California until early this year, according to InstantCheckmate.com. Then she was off to Reidsville, NC where, to this day, SARAH R. ******, using the same avatar as she uses as Ashterah, her middle name being “Rose,” which gives her a much classier name when she Facebooks as Syele von Dampach, And her birthdate even matches!

Sarah P. ******

xxx **** St

**********, NC xxxxx

DOB: September 8, 19xx (xx years old)

So, again my apologies to anyone named Sarah Goodman. I was wrong, and for that I am contrite as can be.

Nobody should be wrongfully compared to Sarah Rose ******.

Faildox-4

Now, if you will recall, Sarah and I had a lovely conversation back in June when she thought I was George Howell. She revealed the real name of “Paul Krendler.”

So, Dread Pirate Zombie Princess Morgana, Ashterah, Sheeple Rage, or whoever the hell else you are…

Faildox-5

Don’t you think it’s time to drop the curtain on this little matinee?

I do.

 

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Good Day, DUMBFUCK!

So titled because morning is done in some places, and nearly so in others…

GMDF 7-13-15

 

Fixed that for ya.  DUMBFUCK.

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Good Evening, DUMBFUCK!

  
I know a guy who’s been asking you to do that for over two years.  Why don’t you go first?

  

Or is it that FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHT TO WRITE ABOUT ANYONE I WANT THING?

  
Either way, this is how simple it is:

YOU WILL NEVER RECEIVE WHAT YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO GIVE.

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

 
When DUMBFUCK is your best friend, EVERY day is a very bad day.

Congratulations & Godspeed Mrs. S.

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

I was a bit worried that I would have nothing to mock this morning because DUMBFUCK was suddenly disinvited from Twitter yesterday for being a testicle-footed penis.  It seems Twitter is as incapable of learning as DUMBFUCK is. But then again, as the scorpion said to the tortoise just before they both drowned, “It’s just my nature. You knew what I was when you let me climb on your back.”

DUMBFUCK GOTTA DUMBFUCK.

By which I mean, DUMBFUCK don’t gotta exercise a lick of common sense.

When my daughter got her cell phone, ZombieMom and I sat down and had a talk with her about sexting.  Of the several things we covered, one of the most important was this:

Sexting consequence 2

It’s embarrassing. The girl in the photo meant her picture for her boyfriend’s eyes only, but that’s not how it ended up. Once something’s on a cell phone, it can be forwarded, uploaded, downloaded, edited, and passed around the Internet and around the world. While the girl in the photo meant her picture for her boyfriend, if they break up, he’ll still have the photo and can do whatever he wants with it. Sexting consequences have included teens who have attempted suicide, and one girl recently succeeded in taking her own life because her photo was forwarded to everyone in her school. Nothing is worth that type of embarrassment. Ever.

Consider where the ultimate responsibility lies when a naughty picture escapes onto the Internet.  There was a recent scandal regarding several celebrities’ phones being hacked and nude pictures leaking into the internet. Snapchat’s business model rests on the idea that whatever a user sends is auto deleted after a few seconds from the destination device, but what is left unsaid is that all messages and images go into, and are permanently stored on, Snapchat’s  internal servers.

There are only three ways to keep potentially embarrassing photos offline:

  1. Don’t take the photo in the first place;
  2. Don’t store it on a hackable device;
  3. DON’T EVER SEND AN EMBARRASSING PHOTO TO ANY THIRD PARTY, BECAUSE YOU LOSE ALL INFLUENCE OVER WHERE IT GOES NEXT.

Middle school girls know this. Internet investigative journomalistic DUMBFUCKS do not.


Apparently not!

In my email yesterday I found a photo.  The sending address was obviously fake, and the message was signed Mort in Maryland.

The photo wasn’t particularly graphic; certainly nothing illegal. I can tell you that I wouldn’t want to see a picture of my wife in that state circulating around the Internet like a Kim Kardashian video. Sure, she’s two weeks from dying, but it looks more like two minutes.  I think only a sadistic sociopath would want to even TAKE that picture, much less keep it. If someone over the age of 7 gave me this picture as a gift for me to cherish, I would have to question their sincerity and they would probably spend the next several weeks eating through a straw.

But anyway…now I’ve got this photo, taken in room 411B, the woman in the photo with such a frail, put-the-camera-down-you-sick-fucking-ghoul expression, the partial finger obscuring the left side of the lens…really, really sad on so many levels.  What should I do about it?

I could post it right here and now. That would be fun, watching it try to spin that “THIS IS NOT MY FAULT!!” will be hilarious. Especially since I know even more about this photo than I am saying here.

Instead, let’s do this:  as far as I know, there has been no obituary published, and every obituary needs a photo.

So, if DUMBFUCK would care to continue its madness, I may visit several regional newspapers, money orders in hand, and buy big, flowery obits in its name. And oh, the charitable organizations I could name in lieu of flowers!

On the other hand, if it stops…I won’t have any FUN.

But we already know that’s not an incentive.  Neither is the notion that it wants to keep that photo private.  It sent THE SAME PHOTO in separate emails to separate destinations.  Do you think it knew that by doing that it was robbing itself of the ability to identify which of its harassment targets passed it on to me through back channels?

I’ll bet a year’s pay it didn’t think of that, because DUMBFUCK!!!

And now it’s over a barrel.  To paraphrase DUMBFUCK, I hope it doesn’t force me into doing something unpleasant, because my options are limited.

THAT’S FUN.

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Say There, DUMBFUCK!

 
I heard she’s naming names too!

In particular, she’s naming Bill Schmalfeldt, and following that with things like “LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE, YOU PSYCHOPATHIC VEGETABLE!” 

(That may be a loose paraphrase…)

Bill Schmalfeldt harassment

But it’s pretty clear that no one is playing along with DUMBFUCK’s fantasies.

He needs to…

http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/keep-calm-and-eat-a-bag-of-dicks-3.png

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