Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

No secret that you will never have the chance to seek discovery of any kind, much less from WordPress.

Also no secret that you are too fucking stupid to figure out why.


The Things You Learn By Paying Attention

Bill Schmaleldt, sooperleegulljeenyus, has filed 8 LOLSUITS in the last three years.

Seven were filed or counterfiled in federal court. The other was dismissed F from a state court because Bill Schmalfeldt does not understand the rules, and by “does not understand the rules” I mean “is a drooling idiot.”

Of the seven filed in federal court, 3 times he filed an amended complaint, and one suit has an amended complaint pending, according to the DUMBFUCK himself.

Of the three cases where an amended complaint was NOT filed, obviously those cases were dismissed due either to the fatal errors that were left uncorrected or at the request of the plaintiff through his welfare attorney.

The three cases where DUMBFUCK’S amended complaints solved every problem…were wildly successful, if by wildly successful I actually mean dismissed by the most basic of motions to dismiss.

At least one of those cases (as far as the general public knows) was dismissed based on a motion to dismiss filed by the Worst Attorney in the World, whom DUMBFUCK is too great a coward to name as a defendant in LOLSUIT VIII – The Fat and the Furryious.

Another of those three suits was dismissed WITH PREJUDICE by the plaintiff himself, and oh, how the fear pee flowed that day, and when DUMBFUCK fled Maryland.

The last of the three LOLSUITS that DUMBFUCK Bill Schmalfeldt amended to solve all the fatal flaws was dismissed for no discernible reason. Thank God for that, too, because if there is one thing that our Ballonpricker has shown the world over three years of futility, it’s that he LEARNS FROM THE FEW MISTAKES HE HAS EVER MADE.

Grady, Hoge, Johnson and Palmer are obviously doomed. They should lawyer up and get their check-writing hands warmed up.

THIS TIME…he’s solved it all. For sure.



Someone is upset that there’s no thread here to talk about LOLSUIT VIII – The Fat & the Furryious.

So if anyone feels like saying something that would fit more comfortably within my very liberal commenting policy than in the more decorous environment provided at Hogewash!, have at it.

UPDATE: And here, 

We see the monkey and mophead DAAAAAAAAAANCE for me!


O RLY, DUMBFUCK? You Say That Like It’s A BAD Thing!

Does this ring a bell?


And as to vexatious litigant… 7 lawsuits in under three years, none of which survived motions to dismiss.

‘Nuff said on that.

Remember, class: All that is required to discredit Bill Schmalfeldt, is to quote Bill Schmalfeldt.


And The Idiot Self-Identifies AGAIN!

It’s really quite remarkable.

This is DUMBFUCK’S most recent post promoting his most recent poopcast, I mean, podcast.

Let’s tally up the stupid, shall we? Continue reading “And The Idiot Self-Identifies AGAIN!”


Good Afternoon, DUMBFUCK!

Gosh, I hope DUMBFUCK lets everyone know when Twitter once more becomes the proper forum and venue for a civil lawsuit.

…like some nonexistent counterclaim I could mention, but won’t.


Stacy McCain’s Insight, Proved In Less Than Two Days

Stacy McCain has long been a bete noire to DUMBFUCK Bill Schmalfeldt. Some time back, Stacy laid out the most simple formula for what we have come to call around here The Shmycle:

  1. Bill Schmalfeldt seeks attention:
  2. Bill Schmalfeldt gets attention: 
  3. Bill Schmalfeldt cries victim:  

Bill Schmalfeldt is a deranged cyberstalker.  He is also an idiot. A certified whackadoodle (that’s a medical term). And when he finally flames out for good, you can bet your ass I will be there to make s’Mores.


Just To Show What a Pluperfect Asshole @Leonidas_BU Is

I present these tweets:



That’s right: this STOLEN VALOR, DUMBFUCK VEXATIOUS LITIGANT (now threatening to file LOLSUIT VIII against Stacy McCain for – trust me on this – Butthurt in the First Degree) demonstrates that confimation bias is confirming…in two tweets… just five days apart.


Don’t They Teach About Plagiarism in GS-13 Writer/Editor School?

In a recent, soon-to-be-deleted post archived here, a DUMBFUCK tries to sound intelligent when writing:

To establish a negligent spoliation claim in Illinois, a plaintiff needs to prove that: 1) the defendant owed the plaintiff a duty to preserve the evidence; 2) the defendant breached its duty; 3) the loss of the evidence was the proximate cause of the plaintiff’s inability to prove claims in an underlying lawsuit; and 4) as a result, the plaintiff suffered actual damages. As is set forth in Martin, the general rule in Illinois is that there is no duty to preserve evidence. Thus, in order to pursue a spoliation claim, the plaintiff needs to establish an exception to the general rule. To establish an exception to the “no duty” rule, a plaintiff must meet a two-part test. The first part, the “relationship” part, requires that the plaintiff show an agreement, contract, statute, special circumstance, or voluntary undertaking that imposed a duty on the defendant to preserve the evidence at issue. The second part, the “foreseeability” part, requires a plaintiff to show that the duty extends to the specific evidence at issue by showing that a “reasonable person in the defendant’s position should have foreseen that the evidence was material to the potential civil action.”

And DUMBFUCK succeeds.

At sounding intelligent.  But not at BEING intelligent.

Because DUMBFUCK.  And Google.

That same paragraph, WORD FOR FUCKING WORD, appears in this 2012 article at White and Williams.

No credit. No attribution.  No nothing.  Just straight theft of copyrighted content.

Oopsie Poopsie!

The same tort this DUMBFUCK has defaulted on in a Maryland lawsuit.

Poor Mr. Sorich…I hope he has a really good psychiatrist. Or a well-stocked bar in his office.