Good Afternoon, DUMBFUCK & Sexdoll!

Remember when Bill Schmalfeldt said he was leaving Twitter forever?

2,643,877 times?

He lied about that, too.


O RLY, DUMBFUCK? You Say That Like It’s A BAD Thing!

Does this ring a bell?


And as to vexatious litigant… 7 lawsuits in under three years, none of which survived motions to dismiss.

‘Nuff said on that.

Remember, class: All that is required to discredit Bill Schmalfeldt, is to quote Bill Schmalfeldt.


The Reasons Are Patently Obvious, And They Don’t Matter

Billy Sez:

I don’t know why it’s important to anybody. I certainly do not need to explain my reasoning for getting a driver’s license and a good old fashioned “beater with a heater.”

I don’t care what reasons he wants to give for buying a car.  I know why he bought a car.

He bought a car for the same reason he has bought all the other useless crap he’s accumulated since moving to Wisconsin.  He’s a four year old in the cereal aisle of life and Mommy’s not around to stop him ripping open every box in sight.

Unchecked impulse control issues, thy name is Bill Schmalfeldt.

As soon as the shine wore off the $2300 Scootypuff (It was red! Vrooom, VROOM!) he kicked it to the curb and bought a car.  And some new computers, audio equipment, an Apple Watch, contact lenses to stain with poop and God only knows what else.

I’m sure when the beater-with-a-heater coughs it up, there’ll be a new Ford F350 or Chevy Silverado replacing it.

Hey, when ya don’t have that extra mouth and two dogs to feed…but he’s obviously working on fixing one of those issues.

Yeah, I know why he bought a car, and why he bought everything else.

And I don’t care.

I’m just awfully glad to know that the cure for late stage ELEVENTYIVLIAR Parkinson’s disease is as simple as waiting for your wife to snuff and then hightailing it to Wisconsin.

Someone should notify Michael J. Fox.


Swap Some Names and Stories, Bing, Bang, Boom…

So I see that the New York Times responded to a retraction demand/ litigation threat from Donald Trump today. Here’s what I consider to be the money paragraph:

I could completely rewrite this paragraph in about 4.5 seconds, and DUMBFUCK still wouldn’t get it.



It’s A Right Shock, Ain’t It?

Bill Schmalfeldt, insulting people by calling them developmentally disabled (go ahead Bill! Don’t be a coward! Call him “retarded!” You know you want to!), AND writing about poop!

Could you at least try something different, if not necessarily original next time?

Make a departure and think of something that you don’t do yourself, like

  • “he pulls the wings off flies”
  • “he throws firecrackers at puppies”
  • “he shaves hamsters before playing Lemmiwinks”
  • “he forces the kitchen staff to randomly mix earthworms into the vermicelli”

Anything!  Go to some random phrase generator site for inspiration.

Or, what the hell – just keep on being the predictable stupid DUMBFUCK we know and love.

It’s FUN.



Which Loop Are You In?

I’ll bet we can all name someone in the bottom loop.  And by “someone” I mean everyone would name the same guy.

Except that guy. Right, DUMBFUCK?



I’m not allowed to contact Mrs. @MusicUnshackled either…because she’s DEAD.

You’d rather be butthurt-hunting tonight than eating fish sticks and custard with some slimy twat anyway, AMIRITE?



With a hat tip to Instapundit contributor Stephen Green –

Everyone who is anyone hates Chick-Fil-A. It only makes sense with their founder Truett Cathy’s hardline Christianity and his hateful endorsement of traditional marriage, and the corporate policy of closing on Sundays to allow their workers to spend time in worship and with family.

Which is why you aren’t going to hear much about this news:

In a shocking move, the Orlando location at University and Rouse Road fired up its grills on Sunday. The chain is notorious for not being open, ever, on the first day of the week. Employees cooked up hundreds of their famous chicken sandwiches. They brewed dozens of gallons of sweet tea.

Then, instead of making a single dime, they carted the product of their labor to the One Blood donation center. The food and drinks were handed out, free of charge, to all the people who had lined up to donate blood.

So far, the only mentions of the incident have been from individuals on Facebook. They have posted photos thanking the restaurant for their thoughtfulness and generosity.

Turns out, that while the founders definitely don’t approve of that choice of lifestyle, they believe in compassion. Who knew? A bunch of people claiming to be Christians care about others even when they don’t agree with them. This group took time out of their schedules to volunteer to help those who were also trying to do their part.

On the other hand, what do you get from the compassionate, tolerant, #LoveWins Left?

Oh, you’ll never guess:

COLONIAL HEIGHTS, Va. — A group of Trump supporters say they were mocked and discriminated against by employees of a popular southeastern barbecue chain Friday night.

Shannon Riggs and her cousins said they expected some push-back from protesters at Donald Trump’s rally in Richmond, Virginia, but they did not expect what happened when they stopped for dinner on the way home.

Dressed in Donald Trump shirts and hats, the family walked up to the window at the Cook Out on Boulevard in Colonial Heights to order burgers and milkshakes.

“As soon as we got to the window, someone inside said ‘Hell no! I’m not serving them,'”Riggs told WTVR.

After a few minutes of discussion behind the window, their orders were eventually taken.

“Everyone was laughing and giggling,” Riggs said about the uncomfortable situation.

At one point, she said, an employee yelled that an order was ready, but when her cousin went to the window to claim the food, she was told, “Oh not for you!”

“You should not be discriminated based on who you support, whether it be Bernie, Hillary or Mr. Trump,” Riggs said.

While the employees laughed, Riggs said, she canceled her order and asked for the number to corporate.

Wolfrey said she did not think the workers should be fired, just talked to and reminded about courtesy.

“They had this sense of anger,” she said. “They were just really rude to us.”

Of course they were.  It’s all they know how to be.

It’s worth noting that even after being baldly discriminated against, the customers hired no media consultants, called no press conferences, made no demands for apologies (though the chain did make one), nor did they demand that anyone lose their jobs.

I wonder if that has anything to do with being brought up without an infinite sense of entitlement and a hair-trigger for being triggered without a trigger warning.  They also did not appear to have access to a safe space with blankies and coloring books and popsicles where they could hide out until the meanies went away.

They just addressed the situation and moved on.  Most lefties I’m familiar with let that butthurt fester and burn instead of moving on like a healthy human being would.





Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

 You know, for a DUMBFUCK whose dick hasn’t worked for over a decade, Schmalfeldt sure does fuck itself in the ass with regularity.

DUMBFUCK lies.  Everyone knows DUMBFUCK lies. And the inevitable fallout never disappoints.

From over here in the cheap seats, still unidentified by the COSMICALLY IGNORANT ALCOHOLIC PUSBAG, it’s going to be FUN.

Another day. Another monkeydance.