Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

The projection is strong in you, young 8 time FAILSUIT LOSER. You’re gonna take wives, cars and houses! But you can’t even hold on to your own.

I’m still waiting for the cops to pick me up, you loudmouth idiot.

I saw a story recently about a guy with a 9 cm diameter air pocket where his brain is supposed to be – how did you manage to convince them not to identify you?

Maybe I’ll have to plan a little golf getaway to Myrtle Beach next month. any other Zombie duffers want to join me?

Good thing you’re in Albuquerque, amirite?


“I’m Just Not As Into Him As He Is With Me-Me-MEEEEEEEEE!!”

Also, check out my Twitter Feldtdown whinging about this person who doesn’t matter to me SO MUCH that I read his blog every fucking day.




Well, You Walked Right Into That, DUMBFUCK!

I can’t figure out if he thinks this post is libelous…

…or this one from the late, unlamented

And you’re not fooling anyone, telling people you walked away. You blew that chance years ago. Instead you dug in deeper, and ever since you’ve been caught in a trap of your own making.

There’s no escape, as long as Inflataskank continues to tell you all about the parodies of your works that magically appear.


And Who Better To Recognize A Toothless Threat Than DUMBFUCK Bill Schmalfeldt?

0 for VIII, anyone?

Let me guess…some of your best friends are Jews, too!  Just like anti-Semite racist woman-hater (thank God you’re just a pecker wrecker sockpuppet!) Bill Schmalfeldt?


Regrets, He’s Had a Few

Regrets? You mean he’s not showing up Friday?

Gee, I wonder what’s happened since Saturday?

Is Badass Bill once more hiking up his skirts? Sure seems like it!

Will the hills of South Carolina come alive with the sickly tang of Brave Sir William’s river of fear pee? I think they will!

All is proceeding as I have foreseen, and even if he is only pretending and actually does the smart thing and shows up in Greensboro. I PREDICT:

  1. He will shoot himself in the foot merely by showing up; and
  2. He will forget (or ignore, depending on perspective) an opportunity to do something reasonably smart for himself.

In any case, no matter what he does Friday, he loses. Because of course, DUMBFUCK.

Dance, Monkey! DAAAAAAAAANCE!!


Good Evening, DUMBFUCK!

Self Awareness Fail #INFINITY:

Admitting you have a problem is the first step. It says so in the book for the Friends of (a Different) Bill. I feel I need to make that distinction because everyone knows this Bill has no friends. I wouldn’t want anyone to be confused.


Bill Schmalfeldt (Google Alert Level: BUTTHURT) Said:

I will share the things I want to share. If you are offended by anything you read here, I might suggest that you not visit here again. If you do, and are offended again, that will be your fault… not mine.

Wow, I think he’s only tried to ply this “Do as I say, not as I cyberstalker” line about two hundred forty seven time previously. I predict he will follow this advice with the precise level of self-awareness that he has displayed throughout the rest of his miserable life.  By which I mean, NOT. AT. ALL.

Because double standards much?

I suppose props are called for here because he has decided not to use a pseudonym anymore…except on Twitter, where he is @liberalgrouch16. Though I’m sure he would proudly use @BillSchmalfeldt if that handle weren’t still under PERMANENT SUSPENSION.


Please, though…don’t let the fact that only about half the Twitter handles this nice old retired man has ever used are also suspended change your mind about him. Seriously – when you first meet this guy, and that little nauseous feeling starts in your stomach, and the creeping chill climbs up your spine, and you have a sudden inexplicable urge to run screaming for the nearest police station…listen to those feelings.  Don’t let him try to change your mind.

What’s even more hilarious is that poor DUMBFUCK knows his writing is offensive (and that’s separate from the actual content, remember) and doesn’t give a shit.

He’s not upset by that.  He’s upset when people LAUGH AT HIS EFFORT, because only he doesn’t know how bad he sucks at it.

Ah, well.  What can you do but stretch those LULZ muscles?

If you are offended by anything you read here, I might suggest that you not visit here again. If you do, and are offended again, that will be your fault… not mine.

Generally, DUMBFUCKS would lead happier lives if they took the advice they gave. Maybe if they thought “Hmm…will a day ever come when I need to delete this?” BEFORE hitting the post button  that would help too.

Just My Opinion.


So What I Hear Him Saying Is…

He’s NOT okay with his pro se pal Brett Kimberlin being an admitted forger and fabricator of evidence?

Because, you know…DOUBLE STANDARDS, right?

Someone seems a little manic tonight…perhaps the choice between giving himself his shots and taking his pills fell the wrong way?


Good Evening, Demented, Depends™ Dependent, Defaulted Defendant DUMBFUCK!

What DUMBFUCK doesn’t get…would overflow the pages of every book written in recorded history, plus most of the books not written yet.

What DUMBFUCK doesn’t get…the Johnnie Walker bottles he flings are empty, and it’s his fault.

What DUMBFUCK doesn’t get…is that the only person on Earth who can’t see him for what he truly is is the guy who shaves his ugly face.

What DUMBFUCK doesn’t get…”Actions are what counts.” (Actions counts?  Another ACES job, there, Major General GS-13!) So if his actions counts for anything, it makes an easy guess why none of his children ever visit. 

What DUMBFUCK doesn’t get…is that no Zombie will ever roll over like he would, no Zombie will ever rat someone out lilke he will.

What DUMBFUCK doesn’t get…is that no police department is going to smile upon a DUMBFUCK faux victim who behaves as if the police NEEEEEEEEEEEEED him to gather non-existent evidence on their behalf for a non-existent case that they aren’t pursuing anyway.

Remember, Zombies!

Only 53 days to go!  Avoid the rush and make your travel arrangements NOW!



How likely is it that anyone is going to jail on the say-so of a DUMBFUCK?

The line forms to the right!