Good Evening, DUMBFUCK!

How about you throw us a bone?

How are you doing in that doomed lawsuit the Hoge filed against you? Everything proceeding as you had foreseen?

Excellent! Glad to hear it. Keep up the great work, looks like this year’s LULZ harvest is going to set new records!!

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Got A Mouse In Your Pocket, DUMBFUCK?

By now YOU should be used to the idea that YOU will never, ever be taken seriously again.

It’s common knowledge that you have never kept your reality grounded in fact (more likely…poop).

And just as a matter of curiosity, why are many of my friends telling me that you are a “candidate” for a job at the same federal agency you “apparently” defrauded for a disability retirement in 2009?

I guess $9000 in life insurance doesn’t go as far as you thought, huh?

And the ScootyPuff (it’s red, vroom, VROOM!) ain’t got no resale value, I bet.

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Busy, Busy Birdies

The story you are about to read is true.  It is multiply-sourced and independently verified.

A while back, my good zombie pal Morgana posted this:

A reminder that since 2009, Bill Schmalfeldt has been unable to drive because, he says, Parkinson’s had so eroded his muscle control and executive function that he could not tell the accelerator from the brake pedal.  He decided that it would be a bad idea for society at large to allow Bill Schmalfeldt behind the wheel of an automobile.

Because Parkinson’s.

Continue reading “Busy, Busy Birdies”

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Hey, DUMBFUCK!

So when a DUMBFUCK talks about “threats to put me in jail,” does he mean like when he threatens people with jail for sending biohazardous material?

Or is he talking about his bogus charges for the “Forged Letter Caper” that he continuously accuses John Hoge of masterminding?

Or maybe the hundreds – thousands?  – of times he has promised that somebody was going to jail for perjury?

Perhaps he means the nine times he determined that someone was LYING!!!!!!!! in court to get a restraining order against him.

You know, that always goes so much better when you actually SLITHER OUT FROM UNDER YOUR SLIMY FUCKING ROCK and go to court. Take a note.


What interests me more is the fact that he calls that piece of crap a STORY and not an ARTICLE.

You see, articles appear in reputable publications and contain facts.

Stories, on the other hand, show up in disreputable rags like CabinBoy Unread, and contain nothing but unconfirmed bullshit.

And as our pal DUMBFUCK is so very fond of reminding us:

Sounds like the burden falls on the writer to prove, not on the subject to disprove. But I guess that rule only applies to other people.  You know, if a rule only applies for some people, sometimes, when it’s convenient, then it’s more of a suggestion than a rule, isn’t it?

And not even situationally ethical journalists like that soulless turdrolling, shitsniffing Cub Scout rapist (I have documentation, you know…just as authentic as yours, but I don’t even PRETEND to be a journalist…or ethical) we call DUMBFUCK have to follow suggestions, right?

Ahh…it’s okay, though.  All we have to do is write about…well, whatever we feel like writing about, whoever we feel like writing about.  Just follow the example set by our betters at SaveBrett’sBaconWhateverTheCost.com. If someone gives you a STORY…just assume it’s true. It’s a time-honored journalistic tradition, you know.

Sabrina Rubin Erdley will tell you how great it turns out…make ya famous.

Or just make it up, cuz that works too!

Ask Pulitzer Prize winner Janet Cooke.

Ask Stephen Glass.

Mike Barnicle.

Jayson Blair.

DUMBFUCK.


Oh, just one more thing…I don’t sound panicked, do I?  Because I sure don’t feel panicked.

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