Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!


Ok.


How about this one?


What about this little tyke?


This guy’s dead, so he’s ok.


Here’s an old favorite.


Oh, look! A goose!


How about him?

Or this fella? Can I use him?


Pretty sure you don’t hold any copyright on this one.


What about this young lovely?


What a handsome gander…


I have no idea who that lardassed kinky sex freak is…


Looks like the planet Jupiter. (Thank you, anonymous commenter that I stole that line from!)


Now this one I know I can use (isn’t he FRIENDLY?), because you leave it in my Spam folder every day. Did you ever get the railroad tie removed?



I get these two confused…


What’s my point? Good question!

Here’s my point:


…some time ago, a wise man (and when I say wise man I mean a complete idiot) taught me about a concept called Fair Use. He even had a handy chart:

I especially like that 10%/1000 maximum word limit on text…

What I learned from this complete idiot is that standards (especially his) are tremendously flexible, even from minute to minute, depending on what he wants to steal or what he wants to protect. Plus everything’s gotta be registered and approved with the right forms and shit like that.

And I have a whole collection of pictures of hospitalized women that aren’t registered either. Might make a nice collage out of those someday.

Until then….


And let me leave you with a heartfelt farewell from one of your favorite folks (and friend):


Now take this^^^^^

and stick it in this…  

…you…

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

 
Let’s get a few things straight. That picture up there?

  
By using it on Twitter, DUMBFUCK has granted any Twitter user access to it and license to re-use it.  The same is true of EVERY OTHER PICTURE IT HAS EVER POSTED TO TWITTER.

Like, for instance, this one:

  
This is really one of my very favorites.  I could give you a dozen other examples, but the point stands.

Put it on Twitter, give up control.

Also, those laws DUMBFUCK likes to toss about like a fart in a hurricane?  One would think that by this point in its illustrious legal career it would have learned that the law doesn’t mean what it says it means just because it says it does.  There are a couple of reasons I generally refer to DUMBFUCK as a DUMBFUCK: first, it simply fits; second it’s just a lot easier than typing adjudicated cyberstalker, adjudicated cyberharasser, subject of multiple peace orders in multiple states, proven liar, whining, humorless dickbag.

See, some crazy old fart-sniffer taught me a valuable lesson.  I have a First Amendment right to write ABOUT anybody I please.  And if an average, everyday DUMBFUCK doesn’t like its own cereal…  

…it can always dial WHINE-1-1 for a 

  
And just in case it forgot, I packed its new smartphone in its

  
Now,

  

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

 

I think a DUMBFUCK wouldn’t mind if I rephrase his Tweet a bit more accurately:

This is called “mockery.” R.S. McCain has phrased it “The best way to discredit Bill Schmalfeldt is to quote Bill Schmalfeldt.”  This practice gives me “butthurt.” I wish it was against the law in Maryland. And the coffee I spilled is evidence that I need to buy a new suit.

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

A little DUMBFUCKBIRD told me to expect something in the mail on Monday.

Personally, I think it means someone else. But I do have some questions:

Before it went into the envelope, was it rolled into a ball and well-sniffed? Is it properly packaged? Triple-sealed? Labeled with biohazard stickers?

Or should I just let the folks know to keep their LULZ muscles nice and loose?

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

You want to know why I’m up here in the “towering heights,” and you’re not?  It boils down to three very simple words:

Smarter. Than. You.

To answer your pathetic little question…

I want to stay up here in the towering heights and have FUN watching you dance.  

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

 9:54 PM YESTERDAY:

“Waaaah!  Waaaaah!  Look what a poor victim I am!  Look how meeeeeeaaan to me they are!  Waaaaaah!  Waaaaaahh!

40 MINUTES EARLIER:

   

 

Wait…what?  I thought he already doxed Grace, our San Fancisco hair stylist/fugitive Louisiana midwife or something.  It had to be true because he’s never faildoxed anybody. Just ask John Smith, who sent him a Tub’o’Turds:

 

But seriously, back to last night.

5 minutes after whining about mean people:

   

 

Sure she did.  Still waiting on a cause of death on a notarized death certificate…but we can always speculate…

 
But never mind that now.  We need to finish with last night’s epic hypocrisy.

   
 

What’s the matter, I wonder?  Does DUMBFUCK NOT LIKE THE TASTE OF HIS OWN CEREAL?

  
KA-BOOM!!

I hope that DUMBFUCK remembers during his regular morning F5 RAGEFEST…

 
…that he’s all het up over…a little ole nobody! 

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

Just your friendly neighborhood zombie here, to remind you that your beloved wasn’t cold yet before you were raging yet again at HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!! in a podcast because YOU failed to include the proper forms in your request for a continuance.

FACT.

Also to remind you that it was just three days after saying

  
that you were back to the butt stuff:

  
And then…”Don’t make me angry.  You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”

 
SMAWFELT SMASH PUNY HOGE!  RAWR! RAWR! RAWR!

  

Because you never were going to do it. You know it. I know it. The American people know it!

You DUMBFUCK. 

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

 
Threatened by whom?

A poor, poor, pitiful late stage ELEVENTYFOUR Parkinson’s patient who can’t walk unassisted or go outside when the temperatures dip into the brisk forties, who couldn’t possibly hurt anyone as weak as it is, unless it’s using its magic hand to cripple people it can’t catch as it shuffles along into courtrooms in its rolly-walker at the blistering pace of 10 feet per minute, who could catch a turtle that wasn’t chained down?
What’s a DUMBFUCK gonna do?

Send its sister after me?  

Ain’t it ruff.  Ain’t it tuff.  Ain’t it got the baddest stuff?

Before it calls her out, it should be sure to remind her that my personal two-tiered home security system, which is controlled from a locked box in the bedroom and another in the hall closet, is entirely gender neutral.

And girl braaaaaaaaaaains are tasty.

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Oh, What a Tangled Web We Weave – Part the Second

So, last night, we fisked the shit out of Billy-boy’s non-apology apology to me. I’m sure that you all have seen what we have posted over at Billy Sez about how the corpulent one has doubled down on said non-apology. It’s just truly amazing how he keeps doing the same things over and over and over again, getting the same result, each and every time. It’s as if he thinks he’s the only one in the room with a brain. He’d actually better rethink that train of thought because if he IS the only one in the room with a brain and he’s with the zombie horde…. Well, let’s just say it wouldn’t be a pleasant dinner party for Billy, now would it? Heh!

Anyway…

Continue reading “Oh, What a Tangled Web We Weave – Part the Second”

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So This is How He Wants It? Cry Havoc!

And let slip the dogs of war!

It seems that Bill “Fair Use For Me But Not For Thee” Schmalfeldt has posted an email he received from Aaron Walker in response to one of his empty, self-serving requests for a “moratorium” on family insults.

He had the gall to open the post with this twaddle:

©2015 by Bill Schmalfeldt
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
ANY QUOTE OR REPRINT OF CONTENT FROM THIS ARTICLE WITHOUT PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR WILL BE CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT AND PROSECUTED AS SUCH IN FEDERAL COURT

Aaron responded with both barrels. Add in the devastation of several mortars, some fixed artillery, a small aerial bombardment and for the cherry on the insult to injury sundae, a particularly well-placed shot from a flaming trebuchet.  In other words, well within the bounds of reason. My particularly favorite part was when Aaron said “and if you don’t like what I am saying now, maybe you shouldn’t have written such a fucking hypocritical request.” Yeah, go figure.

In return, Billy-boy offered to provide Aaron’s contact information so that anyone could contact Aaron to “tell him what you think of his letter and this blatant extortion.” I actually might take Billy up on it just so I can send Aaron one of my world-famous cheesecakes if that’s the sort of goodie he likes.

Now, we here at The Thinking Man’s Zombie would never, ever, ever think of doing the same, as Billy refers to himself as a “private citizen.”  And he is clearly in a difficult place emotionally since today ends in “y.”

But, if you would like William’s home address so that you could drop off a nice footlong-and-mayo casserole while he and TJ wait for when the vigil ends, or if you’d like to call or email him just to let him know you’re thinking of him, you can find that information conveniently located in the signature block of every LOLsuit he has ever filed, including several failed ones against the HZIC of this very site. And let’s not forget the LOLsuit that includes Patrick Grady as well if we are being fair.

Feel free. I’m sure he’d appreciate the gesture.

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