And Now For Something Completely Different

I’m past the point of using clever pick up lines, but I thought this one was excellent for a single hipster on the make:

“You remind me of my pinky toe; small, cute, and I’m probably going to bang you on the coffee table tonight.” 

So, what are the best and worst lines you have used, have had used on you, or heard second-hand?

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If I Were…

…the producer of the Academy Awards ceremony this Sunday night, I would have John Travolta present the Oscar for one of the middling technical awards like Best Costume Design or Best Animated Short Film or Best Sound Editing for a Foreign Zombie Movie Where The Leading Man Gets His Brain Eaten By A Really Handsome Undead Guy or whatever.

And I would have him introduced by Idina Menzel.  With no script.

The anticipation would just be more than I could stand.

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Just Trying To Be Neighborly

Now, it occurs to me that while there may indeed be readers out there who are “scrambling to silence” a primary source of pointage and laughery in this space, I prefer to take a slightly different tack.

A brief consideration of recent history leads one reasonably to conclude that @WMSBroadcasting will also be suspended soon, which will leave our friend with no Twitter presence whatsoever.

That would be sad.

So I thought, given the great success of yesterday’s Air Quote contest, that we could apply our collective creativity to the problem of choosing a new Twitter handle.

I really think there is only one rule – please self-check that your suggestion is not already taken by an existing Twitter user. You’d be surprised how many mayonnaise-related handles there are, trust me.

I already have a couple suggestions in the bucket, so I will list them here along with a new one to kick off the fun (all I have is FUN):

@KrendlersMonkey
@TaintedMayo
@OrcAmongTrolls

Aaaaand…GO!

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