Let’s Play “Spot the Lies”

Here, I’ll help!

I suppose it might be overstating things to call these lies, if you subscribe to Costanza logic:

They could be “alternative truths,” to use a popular phrase.  And DUMBFUCK, in spite of all the evidence of the last five years, may even believe he is speaking truth.  If, for the eighth time in three years, he loses a LOLSUIT on a “technicality,” (DON’T LAUGH) he may actually believe he won’t simply forget it all happened and try again.

I’ve heard these Fatkinson’s sufferers have profound memory issues when it suits them.

Well, it is a lie, if the liar changing his mind proceeds as I have foreseen.

Of course there’s always the possibility of a NEW & IMPROVED strategy that no one could have ever foreseen.

Though it would be an awful waste of the great monikers we have already banked for LOLSUITS IX – XIII if the Inflatable Boifriend starts taking the lead.  Will we have to go back to LOLSUIT I in that case?

LOLSUIT I – Under Pressure?
LOLSUIT I – She’s Gonna Blow!
LOLSUIT I – Pressure Drop
LOLSUIT I – Inflated Ego

Who knows?

 

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Good Morning, Mr. “Families-are-off-limits-for-thee-but-not-for-me” DUMBFUCK!

The way I hear it, the reason you would imply that the President’s son isn’t the President’s son is “been there, done that, got cuckolded by three wives and have multiple kids with your name but not your DNA,” amirite?

THE INTERNET IS FOREVER, OVERSHARER.

You know the rumor about your dead wife and what a mattressback roundheel she was, right?

I’ll bet the next one will be too. If you ever find a real one.

NTTAWWT.

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Ooh! Logic Puzzles!

So, if Grady’s Twitter was disabled and he can’t follow anybody now…

But I can continue to read anyone’s Twitter feed I want because FUCK YOU I’M A ZOMBIE, I DO WHAT I WANT…

Then that would mean…

Let me see…carry the 3…group like terms, add a DUMBFUCK, multiply by infinite stupidity…convert to common denominators…

Oh.

OH!!

Bless her li’l inflatable heart.

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Good Evening, DUMBFUCK!

How about you throw us a bone?

How are you doing in that doomed lawsuit the Hoge filed against you? Everything proceeding as you had foreseen?

Excellent! Glad to hear it. Keep up the great work, looks like this year’s LULZ harvest is going to set new records!!

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Confirmation Received

In which Billy Balloonfucker responds to being called a balloonfucker by admitting that he’s a balloonfucker and his “fiancé” is more inflatable than incipient.

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