You Know What’s Funny?

From last night’s Feldtdown:

The fact that he’s looking at a post that’s five months old? Sorta funny.

The fact that he still thinks I’m Patrick Grady? Definitely funny.

But the truly, gut-bustingly hilarious thing?

In his own Tweet, he curbstomps himself.

This could only be true, because if it was fake no one would believe it.

Thanks, DUMBFUCK!

 

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Everything Old (And Stupid, Pointless, Bound To Fail)…

…is New (and Stupid, Pointless, Bound to Fail) Again!

REBRANDING!!!

Please welcome the all-same-old, all-stupid, all-poop-obsessed, racist, bigoted, anti-Semite, misogynist, stolen valor (boy, I hope the PD at KDSN read those posts), hypocritical, pet abandoning, almost was a radio host again until he started insulting potential listeners before he got on the air, lying motherfucker Bill Schmalfeldt back to Twitter as @TrumpThumpCast.

At least for a couple days, anyway.

Have we reached 250 handles yet? Or are we not getting excited again until he nears 300 handles, which should be right around the 4th of July, I think?

I wonder why this blog keeps getting hits from Denison, Iowa?  It never used to…perhaps someone is someone stuck there without a job or the means to get back to South Carolina? Someone who just wants to be left alone and live his life, if only he could break this addiction to butthurt?

What a shame…(not really)…

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You Mad, Bro?

Yeah, he mad.

Come on, you DUMBFUCK, if you think mud can fly in both directions, go ahead and sling away! You haven’t ever been close to throwing in my direction, owing to tour deluded obsession with the vanished Patrick Grady.

When was he last heard from, anyway? I’m sure it’s pinned up on your conspiracy wall.

Tell us, Projection Boy, was it when he traveled to Maryland to fight a peace order while you peed your skirts in fear? Or was it when you curb-rubbed your tires to death and filed a false police report before fleeing into the waiting arms of Woody Woodchipper the Great Inflatable Soulmate?

Tell us please, you Superbad 8 Time LOLSUIT Failure, all about the fire and brimstone you will rain down upon me, whom you can’t even identify.

If you think I’m laughing at you, if you think I’m having FUN…

You’re absolutely goddamn right!

But to be perfectly serious for just a moment: I’m just one Zombie. There are THOUSANDS more people laughing at you. I really wish you were just 1% as smart as you think you are, because if you were, you might stand a chance of finding all the encrypted butthurt the internet can offer you, and then witnessing your impotent rage would be like driving a Ferrari instead of a refurbished Yugo.

As you continue building your lifelong legacy of #EPICFAIL, please at least try to entertain me.

It might not be the very least you can do, but it’s in the bottom 3.

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“I’m Just Not As Into Him As He Is With Me-Me-MEEEEEEEEE!!”

Also, check out my Twitter Feldtdown whinging about this person who doesn’t matter to me SO MUCH that I read his blog every fucking day.

 

 

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“Final Warning,” You Say?

Oh, no. Not again…

Are we up to a hundred “final” warnings yet from the Mendacious Manatee of Myrtle Beach?

Tiresome little twat.

On a related note…for as vociferously as he contests the notion that he does not have PD, in spite of all his self-contradictory statements, I don’t think I’m the only one who has noticed that he hasn’t posted a single mention of the Shrine of the Holy Resting Place of the Ashtray Soulmate, the Blessed Saint Gail of the Clockwork Urn. In point of fact, I don’t think he has ever denied the allegations that he left her behind in the Midwest (and the capricious currents of the Mississippi River) when he went chasing strange down in Dixieland.

How queer.

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I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE TO LIVE MY LIFE IN PEACE (AND I’LL SUE YOU FOR BUTTHURT IF YOU DON’T)!!

“And to prove it, here’s another hit-job FAKE NEWS article reporting on a reporter whom I’ve been obsessively stalking for over five years!”

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Eleven Examples

Since the beginning of 2017, Bill Preston-Schmalfeldt, poor, poor, pitiful put-upon Porkinson’s patient who only wants to be left alone in peace, has published EIGHT stories in as many months about a reporter he commenced harassing some five years ago. The following links are broken:

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/02/16/lee-stranahan-from-porn-to-press-corps/

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/02/27/meet-lee-stranahan-the-worlds-best-journalist/

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/03/25/documentary-where-in-the-world-is-lee-stranahan/

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/04/05/stranahan-the-traitor-joins-russian-propaganda-machine/

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/04/06/exclusive-stranahans-farewell-gift-from-breitbart-poison/

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/04/08/stranahan-lends-a-hand-to-help-pal-steve-bannon/

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/06/01/lee-stranahan-wants-your-money-to-shoot-a-film/

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/06/15/newsweek-reporter-misleads-readers-about-lee-stranahan/

Poor, poor, pitiful put-upon prevaricating Porkinson’s pants-pisser Bill Preston-Schmalfeldt has also published the following stories since the beginning of 2017 about an attorney in good standing within his legal community and before the bar who wants nothing to do with the stupid, lying motherfucker currently serving as Editor-at-Large and Chief Dimwit in Command of Breitbart Unmasked.  The following links are also broken:

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/05/09/hoge-files-yet-another-contempt-complaint-written-by-aaron-walker/

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/06/11/islamophobe-lawmaker-adopts-aaron-walker-tactic/

http://www.breitbart unmasked.com/2017/07/06/is-aaron-walker-the-worst-lawyer-in-america/

How can this lying, shit-sniffing, turdrolling valor stealing DUMBFUCK make it more obvious that he only wants not to be bothered and picked on by people who respect the people he wants to be left alone to bother and pick on?

People, I’m serious as a large hematoma sustained in a massive vertical aerial impact passing from mattress to armchair (that’s “a bruise from falling out of bed like a klutzy DUMBFUCK,” for those of you who speak normal English) here!

It’s obvious to anyone with three working brain cells what ALWAYS precedes a brief period of peace and quiet for the DUMBFUCK.  (HINT – It’s not a LOLSUIT!) Why isn’t he smart enough to figure it out, other than the notion that he’s almost certainly two or more brain cells short of the minimum requirement?

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The Phrases That Payses

Looks like the monthly check has cleared and the serious drinking is underway.

“If it gets published anywhere I will know who did it as it hasn’t been published anywhere else.”

That is an exact quote from an email that wasn’t even sent to Scott Hinckley aka agiledog.

“I have never publicized this photo, so if I see it on anyone’s blog I will know Hoge is responsible.”

That is an exact quote from an email that was copied to WJJ Hoge.

Nowhere in either statement is there a request, a demand, or an instruction that the photo the author is referencing not be published.  All the author has done is inform two separate audiences in two separate emails that if someone does publish the photo

Aw!  Yer makin’ me blush!

he will know who was responsible.  Which is why he sent it out more than once, so there would be absolute and irrefutable proof point to which of exactly twenty or so people could have done it.

And until DUMBFUCK himself publishes the complete contents of both o the (soon-to-be-forged) version of the emails he sent out, we will just have to assume (correctly, as always) that the HZIC is right, and the DUMBFUCK is a nutshuffling, testicle-footed, valor-stealing DUMBFUCK.

Let’s see if we can get that accomplished by close of business East Coast time today, shall we?

Tick-tock, said the Really Useful Urn from a landfill somewhere in Iowa.

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Cyberstalking- A Handy How-to Transcript!

Clerk: [inaudible] Department.

BS: Hi there, My name is William Schmalfeldt, and I’m calling about a civil no contact order that was taken out against me in January 2016.

[crosstalk]

BS:Uh, the file number is 15CVD2054.

Clerk: Okay

BS: And what I’d like to know is, uh, the plaintiff gave her address as 501 Redd St in Re-Reidsville, uhhh…NC. Now the application for the 50C says you can give an alternative address. Uh, but, but it also says did the, uh – let me see, call it up here so I can quote it exactly…hang on her just a sec…yeah, uh, under “Note to Plaintiff<” uh, line one, which box did she check?

Clerk: Uh, which, under the complaint? Or –

BS: Uh, the application. In the 50C application.

Clerk: Okay, which form?

BS: Uh, hang on just a second. I can-

Clerk: Because you got a copy of the form.

BS: I’m looking, I’m looking, I’m looking at it right now. Hang on. It is form number AOC-CV-520.

Clerk: Okay, you got a copy of everything, um, that she filled out.

BS: Well I no longer have it, and I just really have one question.

Clerk: Okay , and you’re wanting to know which-

BS: Which box she checked under line one.

Clerk: Hold on.

[hold music]

BS: Hello?

Clerk:  Hello?

BS: Yes.

Clerk: Okay, um, you wanted to know which line she che-, on one, which line she checked?

BS: Yes.

Clerk: She checked “the plaintiff resides.”

BS: She – okay, and if the plaintiff did not reside in Rockingham County when she filled that out, is that something I should discuss with your local sheriff?

Clerk: Hmm, you can talk to a lawyer.

BS: All right, well, we’ll do that. Thank you very-

Clerk: All right, Bye-bye.

BS: But, but, but she definitely checked “the plaintiff resides” in this-

Clerk: Well, you should have a copy, if you’d like me to mail you a copy-

BS:Well, yeah, but I-I-I-I moved, uh, and uh, didn’t see any reason to keep this, because I thought she still lived in Rockingham County until yesterday. Now I find out that she moved in November ’15 to, uh, Greensboro, but still filed this suit, uh, this uh-uh-uh, restraining order in January 2016 claiming she lived in Rockingham County when she lived in Guilford County.*

Clerk: Uh, well, if you’d like a copy we can mail you a copy of it.

BS: Would you do that? Let me give you my address.

Clerk: Okay, what is the address?

BS: It’s uh, 220 [deleted]

Clerk: Okay. We’ll get it out to you.

BS: I do appreciate that, thank you very much.

Clerk: Uh-huh.

BS: Bye-bye.

Clerk: Uh-huh. Bye-bye.

*This is the part where the lies are absolutely unmistakable.  If you have the stomach for it, go listen to it eight or nine times. There’s no way he’s telling the truth here.  Also, it’s where he practically admits stalking.  “I thought she lived HERE until yesterday, and I have vowed not to eat, sleep, use the bathroom or speak to the Inflataskank until I find out her current address and get her arrested for relocating without telling me. But I’m totally not a stalker or anything.” Or words to that effect.

On an unrelated note: Did you know that the US Marshals have been finding people and serving process on them for literally decades without even the smallest bit of help from Bill Schmalfeldt?  It boggles the mind to consider how they have managed without him.

Oh, look! Anna Kendrick! How nice.
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