Here’s What I Wonder…

I wonder how long it takes for that new contributor at Cabin Boy Unread (what’s his name again? PUBIS VERMINOUS or something? There sure is something familiar about his writing style)…

I wonder how long it takes PUBIS VERMINOUS’s tits to stop jiggling when he lies down, because I’ll bet a tall stack of cash it’s been 30 years or more since he last broke into a run, even while racing to the toilet.

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Regrets, He’s Had a Few

Regrets? You mean he’s not showing up Friday?

Gee, I wonder what’s happened since Saturday?

Is Badass Bill once more hiking up his skirts? Sure seems like it!

Will the hills of South Carolina come alive with the sickly tang of Brave Sir William’s river of fear pee? I think they will!

All is proceeding as I have foreseen, and even if he is only pretending and actually does the smart thing and shows up in Greensboro. I PREDICT:

  1. He will shoot himself in the foot merely by showing up; and
  2. He will forget (or ignore, depending on perspective) an opportunity to do something reasonably smart for himself.

In any case, no matter what he does Friday, he loses. Because of course, DUMBFUCK.

Dance, Monkey! DAAAAAAAAANCE!!

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ALL 4 QUARTERS??

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

That’s fucking rich, coming from the guy who’s never made it past the first possession, to continue the stupid metaphor. Meanwhile…

 

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MUH RIGHTS!!! AS AN INTERLLIGENCE-DERFICIENT MUHRCAN!

I am too stupid to think for a very long time. But I will exercise muh rights to avoid thinking and for the LULZ of other Muhrcans.

The Muhrcans with Intellectual Disabilities Act of 2017 makes one thing clear. Stupid people are stupid, and stupidity is an excuse and in fact a reason to violate published court rules as well as explicit court orders from a judge. One might think government entities must provide special accommodations for people with disabilities, but this is not even a little bit accurate. Government entities must provide reasonable (not SPECIAL) accommodations, so that actual disabled persons (not fear pee soaked Fakinson’s cowards) can PARTICIPATE in life rather than hide in the closet of the Myrtle Beach Roach Motel.

And the government tried that.  They let me attend hearings via Skype after I lied and told them I was unable to drive (except from Wisconsin to Chicago and back, and from Wisconsin to Iowa, and multiple round trips from Iowa to South Carolina (about 2000 miles of painful, EXHAUSTING DEBILITATING, EXACERBATING HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS OF SITTING ON MY LARDY BEETUSBUTT IN A RENTED CAR on America’s crumbling infrastructure). But I violated their stupid rules and recorded the proceedings as they came out of my computer.  You couldn’t even hear any voices but mine on the video I posted to YouTube unless you turn up the volume.

WJJ Hoge III chooses to deny my rights under the ADA by pointing out that I have violated the court rules, and it seems as if he might have the assistance of a Carroll County, MD, Circuit Court Judge in doing so. The judge ordered me to appear and show cause why I should not be held in contempt.

What does that mean? I’m glad you asked.

It means that the judge has found that there is cause to find me, an interlexulluy dersabled Muhrcan, in contempt of court. And I must be given a chance to show that I have not violated rules nor an order of the court.  Because I have allegedly (HA!) violated the rules WHILE USING SKYPE, the judge seems to think it might not be a grand idea to give me the opportunity to do it again. What an idiotic jackass that judge is.

In his feckless lawsuit against your host, Brett and Tetyana Kimberlin and several others – a suit which has been allowed at every juncture to move ever forward to a scheduled trial date in August- Hoge has chosen to create law where none exists point out how I violated the court’s rules. The judge in the case allows him to do so without sanction, because that is within the rules. For instance, on June 28 I am called to appear in person, 450 miles from here, to answer a ridiculous contempt of court charge for a crime that does not exist violation of the black-letter court rules and procedures. I no longer drive, because it’s not convenient for me to continue to drive, or else I would be expected to drive all the way to Maryland to get smacked in the mouth by a judge.

I’m gonna fight, by running and hiding to an abandoned bar where I can be the last man standing after a bar fight where I am the only participant.

A 14-hour bus or train ride would be incredibly painful, much more painful than the multiple16+ hour road trips I made in my own car from Iowa to South Carolina and back when I was able to drive two short months ago. As much as Hoge and his followers like to pretend, I actually do have and can PROVE I suffer from Parkinson’s disease, when it’s convenient to do so. Furthermore, THERE IS NOTHING IN MARYLAND LAW OR THE MARYLAND RULES STATING THAT A PERSON PROVIDING TESTIMONY OVER SKYPE OR THE TELEPHONE CANNOT RECORD HIS OR HER OWN TESTIMONY…unless you count rule 16-208, which I don’t because I am an interlectilly derpsmacked Muhrcan and I can’t even find that rule in the copy of the rules that the judge told me to get and figger out.

I am charged with recording my own face and voice (and by COMPLETE COINCIDENCE all the other voices in the room, but it’s ALL THEIR FAULT for talking loud enough to hear me) using an iPhone that should have been turned off for everyone but me, it says so right there in the rules. Hoge is calling it “wiretapping.” And the judge is playing right along because that dimwit doesn’t know the rules.

On June 9, I filed a motion asking the stupid goddam judge to either cancel the hearing or, in the alternative, drop the requirement that I appear in person to perform for Hoge’s dog and pony show so that I can secretly record it again, which has nothing to do with why there’s a show cause hearing in the first place.

SHUT UP, MOTHER!

AND YOU TOO, GAIL!

WHY WON’T YOU PEOPLE STAY DEAD!!

That hearing is June 28, day after tomorrow. As of this evening, the judge has not responded one way or another to the motion. He has to respond before the hearing, it’s in the Pretendyland ACME Rules of Civil Procedure, which is the only set of rules an INTERSECTIONALLY DISTENDED MUHRCAN like me is required to use – they’re not written anywhere, but I have them memorized.  If he has not responded by COB tomorrow, I will be expected to appear at 8:45 am in Westminster, Maryland.

To be forced to do so is a clear violation of my rights under Title II of the Americans with Intellectual Disabilities Act.

The AIDA provides remedies in Federal Court for idiotic Americans who can’t understand the law and really should have HIRED A FUCKING LAWYER and tried to SETTLE before it was too late. Which it definitely is now.

If the judge continues to ignore my motion, I will avail myself of my uncivil rights as an uninteresting asexually fear-piss-abled American.

I will resist this usurpation of my rights from my ADA compliant jail cell.

I’ll tell you one thing though…ain’t gonna be no hunger strike!

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Ah, Memories!

Is it too much to hope that this time the chair stabbed him in the kidney?
Who can forget those heady days of yesteryear when DUMBFUCK was so deep in the clutches of the progressive neurological disorder Fakinson’s disease that he couldn’t raise his arms above shoulder height?

Why, now he looks to be in PRIME BAR FIGHTING FORM!

He may have upgraded from SUPER-MORBIDLY OBESE to just MORBIDLY OBESE (something that was never important enough to do for his SOULMATE, but let’s not mention that little detail), but not so much that a fatal myocardial infarction isn’t still a strong possibility.

So keep thinking happy thoughts!

#FNPR – Fat, Nasty, Poop Roller?

UPDATE:

Nice try moving the goalpost, GREASEPAD VON JELLYDONUT. But I didn’t say “arms above your head.”

Neither did you, faking fuck.

But in the meantime…

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCE!

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