Regrets, He’s Had a Few

Regrets? You mean he’s not showing up Friday?

Gee, I wonder what’s happened since Saturday?

Is Badass Bill once more hiking up his skirts? Sure seems like it!

Will the hills of South Carolina come alive with the sickly tang of Brave Sir William’s river of fear pee? I think they will!

All is proceeding as I have foreseen, and even if he is only pretending and actually does the smart thing and shows up in Greensboro. I PREDICT:

  1. He will shoot himself in the foot merely by showing up; and
  2. He will forget (or ignore, depending on perspective) an opportunity to do something reasonably smart for himself.

In any case, no matter what he does Friday, he loses. Because of course, DUMBFUCK.

Dance, Monkey! DAAAAAAAAANCE!!

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FeministSoFragile

So I saw a post at Ace of Spades featuring this genius tweet:

Actual Tweet here.

And I thought, that’s easy! Three books by female authors:

  1. The Onion Field by Evelyn Waugh
  2. The Cuckoo’s Calling by Robert Galbraith
  3. Finding the Champion Within: A Step-by-Step Plan for Reaching Your Full Potential by Bruce Jenner 

And somehow, this just seems to fit:

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How Not To Be Left Alone

You see, officers, what we are dealing with in DUMBFUCK is a guy/person/thing who says a lot of things it really doesn’t believe.  It says it only wants to be left alone and to live its life in peace.

That’s a bunch of Slovenian biological weaponry, or as we humans call it, HORSESHIT.

1-6-2016 4-20-19 PM

Earlier today, DUMBFUCK wrote a whole post about how the people whom it claims it only wants to ignore it…AREN’T TALKING ABOUT IT.  The blacked out portion of that image above contains photos of a child of the person who is leaving DUMBFUCK alone, which is what it wants, hence the montage of photos of an uninvolved third party who is ALSO leaving it alone.  If you feel you must, you can click here to go directly to that post and see for yourselves (although it will soon delete that post in a flurry of shame, evidence spoliation and fear pee – that’s just how it rolls on the Golf Cart of Doom.  It’s red.  Vroom, vroom).

And of course it had to Tweet that out, so everyone knows that people are leaving it alone, that this state of affairs is not to its liking, and SOMETHING MUST BE DONE.

1-6-2016 4-19-27 PM

Later on, DUMBFUCK felt the need to repeat this unacceptable situation to its tiny handful of followers, who, as it happens, also tend to leave it alone.

How dare someone simply LEAVE DUMBFUCK ALONE!!!

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/77168/leave-britney-alone-o-s.gif

“I’m not going to be ignored, Dan.”

Still later on, DUMBFUCK felt the need to comment again on how lonely it was, being left alone by all the people it keeps telling judges won’t leave it alone:

1-6-2016 4-21-53 PM

What is a zombie to think, officers?  DUMBFUCK says it just wants to be left alone.  So when folks ignore its DUMBFUCKERY, this is how it reacts.

(tap on shoulder)

Hey!  Are you leaving me alone?  Are you ignoring me?

(tap, tap, tap)

Are you listening?  I said, ARE YOU IGNORING ME???

(taptaptaptaptap)

GODDAMMIT!  DON’T YOU WALK AWAY WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU! ARE YOU IGNORING ME OR NOT??

1-6-2016 4-24-45 PM

SEEEEEEEEEE!?!?  I KEEP ASKING AND ASKING AND ASKING SARAH TO IGNORE ME, AND WHAT DOES SHE DO?  SHE WON’T ANSWER ME!!

NOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY I HAD TO DOX HER, AND POST 50 PHOTOS OF HER DAUGHTER, AND CALL HER SOON-TO-BE EX-HUSBAND (BECAUSE SPOUSES ARE OFF LIMITS, DONCHAKNOW) TO DREDGE UP OTHER BUSINESS TO MAKE HER RESPOND TO MY QUESTIONS ABOUT WHY SHE WON’T IGNORE ME?  WHY WON’T YOU OFFICERS PLEASE COME AND GIVE ME A NICE LONG-SLEEVED WHITE MOTORCYCLE JACKET WITH LOTS OF STRAPS AND SHINY BUCKLES AND TAKE ME SOMEPLACE WHERE I CAN JUST BE IGNORED????

Here’s a hint, officers.

IT DOESN’T REALLY WANT TO BE IGNORED.  IT GETS OFF (METAPHOR…ick) ON THE ATTENTION.  
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