Dave Barry can write about colonoscopies and be entertaining because Dave Barry is funny.
DUMBFUCKS cannot write about colonoscopies because DUMBFUCKS are neither entertaining nor funny. At least, not in ways that they intend to be.
Another difference between Dave Barry and a DUMBFUCK is that one of these has a working knowledge of appropriate social boundaries…
AND THE USE OF VISUAL AIDS!
Oh, look! FAIR USE!
I recently visited my doctor for a physical. Among the things discussed was the need for that once-a-decade delight, the colonoscopy.
Last time I had this done, I was not blogging. It occurred to me that an experience like this might be good material, in the right hands. It would need a delicate touch, much clinical language in order to avoid assaulting a reader’s sensibilities, little to no “humorous”commentary, no graphic descriptions of – well, I’ll leave that to your imagination, straightforward, informative language, and not too many (read: ZERO) gross photographs.
One might think that such a task would be tailor-made for a writer/journalist of 30 years experience, a veteran NIH writer-editor who shows no signs of fetishistic fascination with the lower GI tract and everything that comes out of it, who doesn’t think the pinnacle of humor flows from there as well.
One would be wrong. Oh, so very wrong.
Because the guy who already wrote THAT blog is a DUMBFUCK.
So, I’m not going to write that blog. I archived it though. Every post. Months of comedy gold in there. All of it related to the author, not the topic.
So if “by the end of business [today], there is the very real possibility that Hoge will be an adjudicated cyberstalker of a teenaged girl,” then what does that make DUMBFUCK
RIGHT. THIS. SECOND?
UPDATE – a more geographically diverse, more thoroughly adjudicated, more harassing, more delusional, more criminally charged, more paranoid, more sociopathic, more narcissistic, more permanently and TERMINALLY BUTTHURT CYBERSTALKER than HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!! will ever be.
Nothing to share today except invisible non-mockery of obsessed DUMBFUCKS who are guaranteed not to respond in any way.
If I were Grady, I would
- remind a DUMBFUCK that I no longer HAVE a blog;
- tell a DUMBFUCK: “Sorry you’re such a worthless DUMBFUCK, DUMBFUCK;
- hire a legal shark to gut a DUMBFUCK six ways from Sunday;
- offer a reminder that the path to shutting up Krendler has always been simple and clear, and therefore far beyond the diminished mental capacity of a deluded DUMBFUCK.
Have fun storming the castle!