Self-Awareness Fail in Three Parts

Part One:

If Bill Schmalfeldt possesses even a single mote of self-awareness, then he must know that he has no soul.

Part Two:

If Bill Schmalfeldt possesses even one atom of self awareness, then his black tongue would have rotted and dropped out of his skull decades ago. We already know this lying piece of shit doesn’t believe in a Supreme Being (except maybe Diana Ross), and like the Devil (maybe “like” isn’t quite nearly on the nose as another word, but let’s go with it) he only quotes Scripture for his own purposes, and very poorly at that.

Part Three:

As Bill Schmalfeldt has often asked his untouchable adversaries while trying his many LOLSUITS in Twitter Court: “Who do you think a judge is going to believe?”

In order of credibility, it goes:

  • Sarah Huckabee Sanders
  • O.J. Simpson
  • James Comey
  • The Mainstream Media
  • Baron von Munchausen
  • Donald Trump
  • Maxine Waters
  • Pinocchio
  • Hillary Clinton
  • John Brennan
  • James Clapper
  • Ben Rhodes
  • Susan Rice
  • Joe Isuzu
  • Donna Brazile
  • The Boy Who Cried Wolf
  • Dan Rather
  • (reader’s choice)
  • (reader’s choice)
  • (reader’s choice)
  • (reader’s choice)
  • (reader’s choice)
  • all three-year-old children on Earth
  • Bill Schmalfeldt

Schmalfeldt has failed.
Schmalfeldt has failed.
Schmalfeldt has failed.

What can he do? Sue me?

Yes, please.

 

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A-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

DUMBFUCK Bill Schmalfeldt, disease faker, multiply adjudicated harasser and stalker, vexatious litigant, serial doxxer of complete strangers, Great White Butthurt Hunter and lying, sexist, racist, bigoted, anti-Semitic motherfucker, pontificates on the instinct for self-preservation…

I suppose if we consider “FLEEING ACROSS THE COUNTRY LIKE A COWARD MULTIPLE TIMES TO ESCAPE THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS BAD ACTS” an instinct for self-preservation, he might be considered an expert.

Unfortunately, he lacks the good sense to STAY UNDER THE FUCKING PORCH.

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Daddy Hoge Wants Me To Ask…

What is your mailing address, DUMBFUCK?

In order to be certain that what he has to say reaches its intended destination without any ability to claim that it was unintentionally or intentionally “lost” in cyberspace or meatspace, he would prefer to communicate with you via Certified Mail, Restricted Delivery, Return Receipt Requested only.

To avoid confusion.

Be a man and answer me directly.

Where can Your Daddy Hoge find you?

Quit sucking your thumb, be a man and answer me directly.

And before you deflect, and ask me what MY address is, just keep in mind that I am merely a neutral go-between in this little conflict…an interested observer, shall we say?

And besides, you seem to believe with all your heart that you already know my address. Actions speak louder than words, so step right up and prove it, O Talker of Big Game From Under The Porch.

Stop idly fondling your empty nutsack, be a man and answer me directly.

I’ll even give you a DOOM CLOCK like you gave Sonoran Conservative. Since we all know already that you’re a racist, sexist, bigoted, anti-Semitic, terrorist-sympathizing, hateful, lying weeping pussy faker, I’ll give you until Close of Business YESTERDAY to prove otherwise.

Oops.

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Ladies & Gents, the Comedy Genius of Bill Schmalfeldt

It’s Comedy 101, DUMBFUCK:

NEVER EXPLAIN THE JOKE.

Especially when it’s someone else’s joke.

DUMBFUCK.

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I Confess Myself Curious

…in an historical sense.

The Jovial One, aka @BroadwayBill_XM, aka (by his own admission) “Original Program Director for XM Satellite Radio’s “On Broadway” Channel,” real name Bill Schmalfeldt, latest of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, has a long, storied history as a failed litigator. It’s exponentially worse, frankly speaking, when one stops to consider how many empty threats he has made that were never followed up on.

So I’m simply curious…

Can anyone point to an earlier failure than this threat to have someone put away over the copyright to a logo that he didn’t even own?

Wotta DUMBFUCK.

Roll on, karma train.

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Delayed Self-Immolation is the Best Self-Immolation!

BIG NEWS THURSDAY MIDDAY!!

But then…just around the time the evening news broadcasts kicked off…

EDITOR’S NOTE: Earlier today, NBC News reported that there was a wiretap on the phones of Michael Cohen, President Trump’s longtime personal attorney, citing two separate sources with knowledge of the legal proceedings involving Cohen.

But three senior U.S. officials now dispute that, saying that the monitoring of Cohen’s phones was limited to a log of calls, known as a pen register, not a wiretap where investigators can actually listen to calls.

NBC News has changed the headline and revised parts of the original article.

Oopsie Poopsie!

Oh, Bill Schmalfeldt…once more, and not for the last time…

If only you had as much integrity as Fake News NBC (which, let’s face it, is so close to zero as to be indistinguishable) that you would issue a humiliating correction.

Not holding my breath, though.  It interferes with the ‘L’ in PLM.

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You Know What’s Funny?

From last night’s Feldtdown:

The fact that he’s looking at a post that’s five months old? Sorta funny.

The fact that he still thinks I’m Patrick Grady? Definitely funny.

But the truly, gut-bustingly hilarious thing?

In his own Tweet, he curbstomps himself.

This could only be true, because if it was fake no one would believe it.

Thanks, DUMBFUCK!

 

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Good Afternoon, DUMBFUCK!

Could you please make up your fucking mind, you diseased piece of shit?

First, over on Amazon before your replies were deleted (will you ever find an excuse NOT to make it personal, DUMBFUCK? I swear to God, you’re easier to push than a Slinky on a stairway.), it was first Doug and then  @mayberryville who “sent false defamatory information about me to which caused them to rescind an offered-and-accepted job”

Now, you’re sure it’s @penllyn over on GAB who is responsible.

Tomorrow it will be someone else. And after that you can spend seven billion days accusing every man, woman and child on Earth until at last you circle back to the culprit in your mirror.

Everyone knows you’re  complete liar, even your once-and-never employer, and no one sent KDSN anything except maybe an invitation to play seek and find on the Twitterz.

I, on the other hand, am Spartacus.

Due diligence is a bitch for an adjudicated cyberstalker, ain’t it just?

Pro tip: Butthurt is not a tort in Iowa, either. When you’re done researching “detrimental reliance” case law (who am I kidding? You found something you liked at quit reading, like you always do!), try this on for size:

“Is Iowa an ’employment at will’ state, and what does ’employment at will’ mean?”

Then, by all means (Please, oh dear God, please let this happen!) go file LOLSUIT IX – Yeast Infection.

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Good Afternoon, DUMBFUCK!

Hey, look at my “new” book!

The cover art was stolen from this book…

But never mind that, review my book!!

Never mind the bad reviews, just buy the book. You can’t trust those bad reviews, even if there is no other kind. They’re all liars, I’ve deleted almost all of the evidence of what they’re talking about, as far as I know.

Just buy the book, trust me. You’ll wish you hadn’t, but there’s a bottle of Johnnie Walker Red calling to me. And I’m in the mood to buy and abandon Scootypuff #3.

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Why Am I Not Surprised?

If you want to see pervert Bill Schmalfeldt participating in the sexualization of an African- American toddler, just visit his Twitter timeline to see his most recent retweet:

https://twitter.com/TrumpThumpCast/with_replies

Or, don’t. You don’t need to see that crap.  Just take my word for it.

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