Hey, Lying Racist Motherfucker!

Keep a close eye on the Maryland docket today.  I foresee that an order allowing himto attend the trial via Skype will NOT be posted by close of business today.

If he isn’t already in transit northward, he really ought to be.

And this begs a question – where will his balloon animal betrothed be next week?

Will she stay in South Kakalacky to take care of Onyx, or will she come north to nursemaid the bald pussy?

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The Phrases That Payses

Looks like the monthly check has cleared and the serious drinking is underway.

“If it gets published anywhere I will know who did it as it hasn’t been published anywhere else.”

That is an exact quote from an email that wasn’t even sent to Scott Hinckley aka agiledog.

“I have never publicized this photo, so if I see it on anyone’s blog I will know Hoge is responsible.”

That is an exact quote from an email that was copied to WJJ Hoge.

Nowhere in either statement is there a request, a demand, or an instruction that the photo the author is referencing not be published.  All the author has done is inform two separate audiences in two separate emails that if someone does publish the photo

Aw!  Yer makin’ me blush!

he will know who was responsible.  Which is why he sent it out more than once, so there would be absolute and irrefutable proof point to which of exactly twenty or so people could have done it.

And until DUMBFUCK himself publishes the complete contents of both o the (soon-to-be-forged) version of the emails he sent out, we will just have to assume (correctly, as always) that the HZIC is right, and the DUMBFUCK is a nutshuffling, testicle-footed, valor-stealing DUMBFUCK.

Let’s see if we can get that accomplished by close of business East Coast time today, shall we?

Tick-tock, said the Really Useful Urn from a landfill somewhere in Iowa.

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Amazing, Innit?

What a fucking ghost town this place turns into when DUMBFUCK isn’t constantly doing stupid shit on the internet.

You’d think there would be a lesson that an unemployed transient could learn from this about the path of least resistance to being left alone…

Sadly, no.

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Denials Require Proof, You Say?

Well, it’s a well known fact that Bill Schmalfeldt once alleged in a federal lawsuit that his cousin Roy Schmalfeldt defamed him by accusing him of rape.  Bill Schmalfeldt also dismissed that lawsuit with prejudice, which leaves him legally unable to deny that he is, in fact, a rapist.

If what Bill Schmalfeldt says today – “DENIALS REQUIRE PROOF!” – what other things has he done that he cannot provide proof that he never did?

  • Did he in fact get kicked to the curb by St. Gail after befouling his marriage bed with Hell’s Kitchen Kate?
  • Did he in fact live the remainder of his marriage with St. Gail in separate beds because her condition for allowing him into the tincasa was the permanent withholding of spousal privileges?
  • Did he in fact scam the National Institutes of Health into a pensioned disability retirement?
  • Did he in fact ever have a job in journalism or radio from which he was not fired?
  • Was he in fact evicted from the enclave of the NINJANUNS?
  • Did he in fact violate his lease in Iowa to escape to his new Inflatababe?
  • Did he in fact fail to inform the states of Wisconsin, Iowa and possibly South Carolina of his disability, thus fraudulently acquiring driver’s licenses in one or more of those states?
  • Did he in fact administer multiple pairs of Irish Sunglasses to his soulmate throughout their marriage?
  • Was she in fact too quick for him to catch?
  • Did he in fact abandon four pets in two states to the streets?
  • Were those pets in fact served as entrees in various Asian restaurants?
  • Did he in fact leave the urn behind in Iowa?
  • Did he in fact murder his first wife and chop her body into stew meat?
  • Does he in fact no longer take any medications for Parkinson’s?’

As the GREASE-SWEATING BEETUSBUCKET DUMBFUCK says, 

DENIALS REQUIRE PROOF!

Based on the Rules of Schmalfeldt, simply because I say so, all these things are true. The only way to disprove them is for DUMBFUCK – in true Alinsky style – to live up to his own rule book and provide sufficient proof to the negative.

And naturally I am the judge of sufficiency.

I’ll wait.

But only until 9 PM Eastern.

And you know, if anyone thinks of anything else he needs to provide denials for, leave a comment.

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Hypocrite Bill Schmalelddt Wants Your Money to Shoot a Film

[Editor’s Note – this smells like fishbait to me, calculated to bring just the sort of response that follows. If I’m right, nobody can say I didn’t see it coming. If I’m wrong, it’s just another hanging slider begging to be drilled into the third deck. And what else am I here for? – PK]


Remember his epic fundraising effort to get his “good name” back from the right-wing mob at DailyKos?  And the other efforts to fund his stupid LOLSUITS that he started and never finished? BYE BYE, MONEY!!!


In yet another incoherent, hypocrisy-saturated post this morning, alleged child pornographer, wannabe soulmate-pimp, grifter, disgraced journimalist and oft-fired radio host (most recently from KMCN the MAC 94.7 in “his town” Clinton, Iowa, where he no longer resides because as he says, “they know me there”) DUMBFUCK Bill Schmalelddt wants you to give him money.

He’s gonna rent him an SUV and drive around the country without a driver’s license. All he needs is thirteen thousand nine hundred seventy-five bucks for new toys. And to pay the fines.

There are ROADS LESS TRAVELED TO BE TRAVELED, and by gum, DUMBFUCK’S gonna travel them on Kim Abbott’s dime.

I can haz munnys nao? And new curtainz?

 

This disreputable, anti-American amoeba began his morning babble with an attack on Lee Stranahan, the first of the dozens of white whales this microscopic Ahab has been stalking online for most of the last decade, even after oh-so-sincerely apologizing for saying he pimped out his wife (BUT DON’T YOU DARE SAY HE CALLED HER A WHORE BECAUSE THAT NEVER HAPPENED!! THERE’S ONLY ONE WIFE AROUND HERE GOOD ENOUGH TO BE CALLED A WHORE AND SHE’S DEAD THANKS TO YOU AND THE MIGHTY ROLODEX OF CLINICAL TRIALS AT THE NIH!!!). The nutshuffling penis says, when he is not desperately gobbling what look like several footlong hotdogs slathered in hot mayonnaise in a dark corner of the YMCA locker room, that there are American stories to tell out there in the wastes of the deep red states of Trump’s America, where intolerant Boy Scouts don’t embrace the urban ideals of inclusion, diversity and sliding pee sticks into pooter holes by the campfire.  Schmalelddt says Stranahan is a “former pornographer, would-be pimp, grifter, one-time Breitbart reporter and current propaganda agent,” which is a bit like saying “Paul Krendler started a flame war against Schmalelddt by turning one of Schmalelddt’s flame posts about John Hoge’s family back onto Schmalelddt.”

In this hypocritical DUMBFUCK’S tortured excuse for a mind, the whole thing ties into a Sheldon Adelson Koch Brothers Robert Mercer Philip Anschutz Illuminati Tri-Lateral Commission Elders of Zion Eye of Sauron-funded effort to meddle with affairs in the former United States now known as Trumpland.

Trumpland is that majority of red states that voted for Trump, disenfranchising the gigantic, aptly named and terminally depressing minority of “blue” states like California, Illinois and New York according to a long-established, perfectly legal but vestigial Constitutional tradition of the Old Republic known as the Electoral College. Although some of the poorest states in the former USA, Trumpland has always led the way in espousing small government, self-determination, dynamic economies, freedom, personal responsibility and the exercise of Constitutional rights.

Schmalelddt has so much regard for these red Trump states that he is seeking to fund a road trip to go forth and poke the citizens of these states with sharp sticks, and make a film of himself being mauled to death.

DUMBFUCK created a GoFundMe page over two months ago to fund this odyssey.  Since the inaugural donation of $25 on day one, the fundraising effort has stalled.  Even his new imaginary, inflatable boifriend saw through his transparent scam.

Schmalelddt obviously envies the success of his self-made nemesis Lee Stranahan, now an accredited member of the White House Press Corps, an achievement that the three-time winner of the Iowa State Fair Poke Me in the Corn Hole Agricultural Reporting Lucite Cob never came close to achieving.

Check the GoFundMe page. Watch the video. Point and laugh.  If you think about sending him money, buy some ice cream instead. Or set the bills on fire.  Either is a wiser choice than sending your money to Hypocrite Bill Schmalelddt.

Let him pay his own way through every McDonald’s drive thru in America.

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Good Afternoon, DUMBFUCK!

You know, when it comes to “turd lickers,” (did I ever tell you how much I admire your turn of a phrase? GOD, I HOPE NOT!) there’s only one person I can think of who has ever come close to doing so…

I have never seen anything like this.  I have never SMELLED anything like this.
The smell, best as I can describe it, reminds one of a mixture of rotting fish, lawn clippings and chemical cleansers.
If you’re watching the video I shot today, this is what was coming out of me that you can NOT see in the video!
Now, you’re going to think this odd. But at this point, I don’t CARE!
When I wiped, there was this little bright green glob on the paper.  I decided to examine it.
I rolled it around a little. I sniffed it. It was like a booger, only far, FAR stinkier! Never — NEVER — have I seen such a thing in my stool.
And I think we all know who that is, don’t we?
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Let’s Get This on the Record and Out of the Way Right Now

During yesterday’s wonderful monkey dance by the Great Weeping Pussy of Clinton, Iowa, this tweet appeared:

No one who has observed DUMBFUCK for more than a weekend or so is unfamiliar with his distaste for anyone who sticks their booger vault into someone else’s business.  Why who could forget the many times DUMBFUCK himself stuck his own mucus repository into Aaron Walker’s business?  If there is anything one can glean from those episodes, one thing is clear:  Bill Schmalfeldt has nothing but contempt for people who play a lot of video games.

I guess it’s a good thing he doesn’t know anybody like that.

But I digress.

This coward in Iowa will not put up with people who go and insert themselves into conversations where they haven’t been invited to reply!

Say, what’s my Twitter handle doing in those tweets?

Oops.

I should amend my prior statement.

This coward in Iowa will not put up with people who go and insert themselves into conversations where they HAVE been invited to reply, but who then proceed to thoroughly embarrass and cause to monkeydance the punkass shitsniffing cocksnogger who did the inviting. 

Because giant, sand-stuffed pussy.

But really, DUMBFUCK has a long and storied history of whining like a worthless bitch at the following times:

  1. when people stick their booger vaults where he doesn’t want them stuck;
  2. when people call him out for sticking his snotbank where he has no right to stick it;
  3. when people decide to engage the Amazon Vagina Warrior Princess du Jour behind whose skirts he is currently cowering; and
  4. any other time.

So when this tweet showed up in my notifications…

 

I thought it was interesting, someone sticking their booger vault into something that was none of their affair, to paraphrase an idiot. Unless of course that pussy went begging to his new Warrior Princess for aid and succor. But Big, Bad, Brave Billy would never do that just for someone he knows he could curbstomp, would he?

“NOW YOU STOP RESPONDING TO TWEETS WHERE I MENTION YOU OR I’M GOING TO CURBSTOMP YOUR ASS!!!

Right.

I’m confident you’ll figure out the technique by the sixth or seventh try. Will you be leaning on your cane or sitting in your walker?

He says he has a phone number.  He never calls.

He says he has an address.  He never writes and never drops by.

It’s not a tough riddle to solve…that puddle of urine isn’t going to mop itself up, is it, DUMBFUCK?

In any case, @redheadturkey was not part of the conversation.  Had not even been mentioned before appearing UNINVITED.  It’s the kind of thing that sand-packed weeping vaginas like the Coward of Clinton County simply will not countenance.

But what’s done is done. It’s on the record. It’s archived. When DUMBFUCK Bill Schmalfeldt makes CaptiveNurseReno his newest sword and shield, and cries “Look how they treat her…just for being fool enough to fall in love with me! (or words to that effect)” remember:

Reno/@redheadturkey CRASHED THIS PARTY of her own free will.  No one had spoken to her or about her…except DUMBFUCK. She stepped up and invited upon herself everything that may follow. I hope she’s smarter than her idiot boyfriend and knows better than to blame someone else for what she just stepped into.

And a last word of caution:  The Cowardly Lion will blame somebody, and who’s going to be handy in the Deep South?

Bless your heart, darlin’. Bless your li’l ole heart.

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A Sequence of Events

“It was right about the time the program director told me I was fired…

…that I decided I didn’t want to work there anyway.”

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So I Guess The Great White Plagiarism Hunter Has Lost His Mojo

Used to be, not so long ago, that if John Hoge posted something on the Internet, you could count on a DUMBFUCK to stick that post into Google and call John a plagiarist for repeating a joke.

(Remind me to tell you the one about the lardass cripple who hired a flatbed truck and a forklift to haul him to court – it’s a really good one!)

Recently though, DUMBFUCK seems to have lost the knack for searching the Internet for thing other people have said.

Over at Cabin Boy Unread (no), a commenter named “Bob” took issue with the whinging that DUMBFUCK was aiming at Jason Chaffetz over his assertion that it might come down to a choice between paying a premium for the insurance or picking up that sweet iPhone.

Bob pointed out that long before Rep. Chaffetz spoke out on Sunday, President Lightbringer was saying essentially the same thing:

As you can see, DUMBFUCK’S response was as filled with grace and charm as anything else he’s ever written.  ALWAYS WITH THE BUTT STUFF…and especially so when the commenter in question shares a name with his monoplacental twin!  I wonder if there’s some deeper meaning there…

But it seems…what’s the word?…QUEER! that a DUMBFUCK so skilled at finding quotes on the Internet would go begging for help in this instance, when it’s right out in front of God and EVERYBODY to find.

Copy. Paste. Search. Result.

5 seconds, tops.

Whoo!  Somebody get me a cold drink, I am exhausted.

UPDATE:  After deleting a comment wherein “Bob” provided the linkage DUMBFUCK requested, “Bob” reposted the video. Sadly the archive does not retain the image, but I feel confident it is the same video posted above.

So now we have a record when DUMBFUCK deletes this comment too, during work hours at KMCN-FM.

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