Drawing A Straight Line From Bill Schmalfeldt to Pedophilia, Racism, Misogyny, Anti-Semitism, Drugs & Terrorism

THE FOLLOWING IS A PARODY OF THE POST LINKED HERE: http://www.breitbartunmasked.com/2017/10/09/drawing-a-straight-line-between-robert-mercer-and-nazis/, WRITTEN BY BILL PRESTON-SCHMALFELDT (oh, how PRECIOUS!!) ON OCTOBER 9, 2017.
DO NOT CLICK THAT LINK (IT ISN’T A REAL LINK ANYWAY). IT WILL ONLY ENCOURAGE HIM. BESIDES, THE POST WILL SOON BE DELETED IN A FLOOD OF FEAR PEE, WHICH IS THE HALLMARK OF PRIDE THAT PUNCTUATES THE PATHETIC EXISTENCE OF THE AUTHOR.
INSTEAD, READ THE POST WHERE IT HAS BEEN ARCHIVED AS ETERNAL PROTECTION AGAINST THE INEVITABLE DELETION AND SPOLIATION OF EVIDENCE THAT WILL TAKE PLACE SOMETIME SOON.

SAFE LINK: http://archive.is/jYG4S


It’s a simple matter of “unnecessary air-quote” connecting the dots “unnecessary air-unquote:” Drawing a straight line from transient left wing idiot, Stolen Valor veteran, welfare whore and cyberstalking harasser Bill Schmalfeldt to brass knuckles reputation management lawfare aficionado Brett Kimberlin, the convicted Speedway Bomber, domestic terrorist, drug dealer and forger, one-time wannabe rockstar and champion of the movement to, um… “romance” underage girls in the name of pedophilia, a philosophy that is the direct opposite of normal, though not for lack of effort on the part of the enlightened, progressive Left. (It emphasizes that romantic and sexual relationships between adults and children who are legally and emotionally incapable of consent is perfectly fine.

A recent piece in BuzzFeed (which we aren’t going to link because we’re assholes like that here at Cabin Boy Unread) had absolutely nothing to do with the relationship between welfare whore Bill Schmalfeldt and adjudicated pedophile Brett Kimberlin, but you can find plenty of information here.

Schmalfeldt is currently in his second stint as the editor of Breitbart Unmasked (no, I won’t link to it – malware warnings), a website connected to Kimberlin and given to publishing multiple fawning profiles about him while ignoring his criminal history and epic failures at shutting up his critics via lawfare. Schmalfeldt, who tries to portray himself as a glib, sarcastic satirical genius and investigative journalist on this website as well as hundreds of other failed blogs, podcast channels and Twitter accounts he has created, then abandoned or had yanked from public view over the last decade, has also authored many self-published masturbatory fantasies disguised as “exposés” of people he has continuously tried and failed to sue for defamation and other false claims. Many of these books have also been pulled from online bookshelves due to copyright violations.

There’s not much about Schmalfeldt’s public rantings to love.

  • He has written, performed and offered for sale audio skits featuring Cub Scouts discussing and engaging in homosexual acts with one another in pornographic detail;
  • He has written, performed and offered for sale audio skits referring to African American characters as “boy” and referring to them as house servants;
  • He has written, produced and performed audio skits in which he imagines himself disinterring dead babies and eating them;
  • He has published photos of himself eating live kittens;
  • He has referred to Ali Akbar, an African American, as “boy;”
  • After a confederate suggested that the wife of one of the targets of his harassment should be raped, Schmalfeldt helpfully provided the street address on Twitter, while not in any way agreeing with the whole rape thing (wink, wink);
  • He has additionally said, dozens if not hundreds of times, that this same target of his harassment pimped out his wife, while not in any way suggesting that the wife herself was a whore (nudge, nudge);
  • He has insulted the Filipino spouse of a Virginia attorney by suggesting that she was a mail order bride, and that the lawyer might “send her packing back to Asia where he purchased her;” (say no more, say no more)
  • Even though he himself barely graduated high school, and may in fact have been graduated just to get him out of the local educational system, he often refers to women who offer opinions he cannot understand as “dim twats,” “stupid cunts,” “cum-gargling fuckwits” or any of the multiple possible combinations thereof;
  • He has made anti-Semitic statements referring to slaving away like Israelites for Pharoah;
  • He and his insipid balloon animal of a girlfriend regularly insult their perceived adversaries – and believe me, do they ever have to punch up – with homosexual slurs such as gays, fags and faggots;
  • He has published gleeful Twitter rants apophatically referring to one columnist as a “closeted repressed homosexual,” a “simpering, limp-wristed glory-hole queen,” an “angry, self-hating homosexual” and a “pillow-biting studded leather collar-wearing bukkake boy,” as if such sexual orientations were off the normal scales and somehow worthy of scorn;
  • On at least one occasion, he has photoshopped his perceived enemies into homosexual pornographic photographs, as if being homosexual were something to be ashamed of.

The things he says in private are far worse, far more insidious and despicable.

An anonymous but trusted source has provided Thinking Man’s Zombie with communications with Schmalfeldt, in which Schmalfeldt shares his glee over bashing peoples’ skulls with rocks, glorifying over the imagery of kicking people out of their homes, taking away their children’s inheritances, getting them fired from their jobs after doxing them, and shoving lit M-80s up the rectums of their pets just like when he was a kid.

Schmalfeldt is far less glib and urbane when discussing his violent dreams out of sight of the public. He brags about an in situ plot to overthrow the government of the United States, saying that a large number of generals and admirals are on board and ready to move if Donald Trump goes a step too far.  He is either delusional or a liar, but at times like this there is nothing like the power of AND.  Schmalfeldt now has the time to work on funding his latest projects…fleecing the left-wing idiots of America to fund a 48 state “bucket list” road trip along with about $2500 of new toys to “document” the journey, grifting for a brand new mobility scooter that Medicare would pay for if only he could find a competent doctor to prescribe for him, and pro se prosecuting yet another Federal LOLSUIT that has less than a snowball’s chance in Hell of getting to trial.

Is Schmalfeldt just thumping his concave chest? Preening like a peacock, trying to impress the reader with his illusory power and might?

Well, obviously!

And if it isn’t all just talk, where is the funding coming from?

That question takes us back to the beginning.

Brett Kimberlin is a convicted bomber who was found civilly liable for the death of one of his victims but hid all his assets to avoid paying the judgment. He is a convicted forger, drug dealer and perjurer who has spent years along with thousands of dollars engaging in lawfare against many with whom he shares common hatred along with Bill Schmalfeldt. Also, he blew $9000 to buy a fake Russian dossier on Donald Trump.

No, really!

Bill Schmalfeldt is a friend of Brett Kimberlin, by his own admission:

Who’s to say that Kimberlin is not funding Schmalfeldt’s dreams of almost-beachside month-to-month rental retirement in a Myrtle Beach motel-gone-cheap-condo? How do we know Kimberlin is not laughing up his sleeve behind the scenes at Schmalfeldt’s impotent fist shaking dreams of crushing his enemies THIS TIME, AT LONG LAST!!! in a South Carolina court with a case far more flimsy than he has ever had before, even more flimsy than the case that caused a court-conscripted welfare lawyer in Chicago to fire him and run him out of town, shaking with derisive pointage, laughery and mockification?

We don’t know.

Maybe it’s time to start asking questions?

Like(8)Dislike(0)

Good Afternoon, DUMBFUCK!

Your pedobomber ghostwriting pal is surely a better writer than you (and that should really humiliate a self-published GS-13 writer-editor genius like yourself), but at proofreading he sucks just as bad or possibly worse.

You should try to get your money back – quickly.

You’ll understand what I mean later.

Like(4)Dislike(0)

So I Guess The Great White Plagiarism Hunter Has Lost His Mojo

Used to be, not so long ago, that if John Hoge posted something on the Internet, you could count on a DUMBFUCK to stick that post into Google and call John a plagiarist for repeating a joke.

(Remind me to tell you the one about the lardass cripple who hired a flatbed truck and a forklift to haul him to court – it’s a really good one!)

Recently though, DUMBFUCK seems to have lost the knack for searching the Internet for thing other people have said.

Over at Cabin Boy Unread (no), a commenter named “Bob” took issue with the whinging that DUMBFUCK was aiming at Jason Chaffetz over his assertion that it might come down to a choice between paying a premium for the insurance or picking up that sweet iPhone.

Bob pointed out that long before Rep. Chaffetz spoke out on Sunday, President Lightbringer was saying essentially the same thing:

As you can see, DUMBFUCK’S response was as filled with grace and charm as anything else he’s ever written.  ALWAYS WITH THE BUTT STUFF…and especially so when the commenter in question shares a name with his monoplacental twin!  I wonder if there’s some deeper meaning there…

But it seems…what’s the word?…QUEER! that a DUMBFUCK so skilled at finding quotes on the Internet would go begging for help in this instance, when it’s right out in front of God and EVERYBODY to find.

Copy. Paste. Search. Result.

5 seconds, tops.

Whoo!  Somebody get me a cold drink, I am exhausted.

UPDATE:  After deleting a comment wherein “Bob” provided the linkage DUMBFUCK requested, “Bob” reposted the video. Sadly the archive does not retain the image, but I feel confident it is the same video posted above.

So now we have a record when DUMBFUCK deletes this comment too, during work hours at KMCN-FM.

Like(11)Dislike(0)

You Know You Can’t Archive Posts From DUMBFUCK’S New Blog

So archive this instead!

There’s a teeny-tiny, hard to read paragraph in the middle there, that really doesn’t add much to the post, but if you’re dying to know what it says…

Money Damages.  This is the most common remedy sought in breach-of-contract actions.  Money damages may be awarded for losses that were proximately caused by the defendant’s breach, that were reasonably foreseeable, and that are proven with reasonable certainty. Reasonable foreseeable means that the damages are those that would arise naturally out of the breach of the contract.  Moreover, a plaintiff can recover damages that are reasonably supposed to have been in the mind of both parties at the time that the contract was formed.

Let it never be said that I am incomplete or inaccurate when reproducing DUMBFUCKERY for the purpose of commentary under the Fair Use provisions of United States Copyright Law. (Sound familiar?)

But do let it be said that I have not republished the blog post. If a DUMBFUCK believes he can split a hair so finely as to argue that a contract he signed isn’t a contract, then I can say that what I published is a JPEG file image of a blog post, which by definition is a JPEG file, not a blog post.

So, DUMBFUCK, go fuck yourself.  In the kidneys. With a jackhammer.

^^^^^^^^^^That’s commentary right there.

 

Like(11)Dislike(0)

The Triumphant Return of King Peondakiddies!

Sure it took him a couple of loooong days to think up something that met the very lowest standards of humor (his own), but he got there in the end.

Never mind that the whole story was a 4chan put up job with not even a single disgusting yellow drop of truth to it.

The King drank it down like lemonade on hot Saturday afternoon.

Who expected less?  Show of hands?

Like(9)Dislike(0)

Reductio ad (Maybe Not So Historically) Absurdum

On Tuesday, in his column at Townhall.com, Mike Adams noted a sentiment that one of his liberal acquaintances shared with him:

I would rather have hundreds of my tax dollars used to abort an unwanted child now than have hundreds of thousands used for public assistance later.

To refer back to an old punchline – now that we have established what this liberal is, the rest is just haggling.

Where’s the break-even point for this anti-life and frankly eugenicist policy statement?

“I would rather have exactly $28,642.68 of my tax dollars used to abort an unwanted child now than have $28.642.70 used for public assistance later?”

At some point this policy resolves to an equilibrium point – in this hypothetical case $28,642.69 –  where there is the same economic value in killing an unborn child before he or she becomes a burden on society versus doing the same after it’s happened.

I feel like I’m forgetting something here…maybe it will come to me.

Anyway, what the original sentiment demonstrates is one liberal’s sentiment about the relative value of a human life.  For both cases, born and unborn, this liberal has expressed their opinion that the value of life is finite, and it can be measured in dollars.

Oh!  Wait!  Got it!

This liberal’s pronouncement makes a fallacious generalization.  This liberal assumes that the unwanted child’s potential future value is exactly the same as the current value of the burden on society who does not deserve the liberal’s hundreds of thousands of tax dollars in support. The implied assumption is absurd on its face. Also, typically liberal, but why repeat myself?

The prospect of what lies in wait in the mud at the bottom of this slippery slope of liberal compassion is both familiar and terrifying. If you’re confused, slap a swastika on it and it will become much more clear.

Like(5)Dislike(0)

And The Idiot Self-Identifies AGAIN!

It’s really quite remarkable.

This is DUMBFUCK’S most recent post promoting his most recent poopcast, I mean, podcast.

Let’s tally up the stupid, shall we? Continue reading “And The Idiot Self-Identifies AGAIN!”

Like(12)Dislike(0)

Stacy McCain’s Insight, Proved In Less Than Two Days

Stacy McCain has long been a bete noire to DUMBFUCK Bill Schmalfeldt. Some time back, Stacy laid out the most simple formula for what we have come to call around here The Shmycle:

  1. Bill Schmalfeldt seeks attention:
  2. Bill Schmalfeldt gets attention: 
  3. Bill Schmalfeldt cries victim:  

Bill Schmalfeldt is a deranged cyberstalker.  He is also an idiot. A certified whackadoodle (that’s a medical term). And when he finally flames out for good, you can bet your ass I will be there to make s’Mores.

Like(7)Dislike(0)

Why Did Breitbart Unmasked Hire A Racist Editor?

In a recent article at CabinBoy Unread, contributing editor Bill Schmalfeldt displayed an appalling stripe of racism when he posted the following side-by-side photographs:

As the reader can see, he captioned the photo on the right “Is this Mrs. Aaron Walker? 15 years and many pounds ago?”

While it is plainly obvious that Schmalfeldt is a racist in the classical “All those people look the same to me” vein, there are other examples of Schmalfeldt’s base hatred for “the other” in his obviously contrived “some of my best friends are Negroes” relationship with that one token Facebook friend he once trotted out in an effort to cement his limousine flatbed-and-forklift liberal bona fides.

A blog post requesting comment on this story, left where he would never think to look, went unanswered before an arbitrary deadline passed.  So we can assume that this story and the conclusions reached herein are absolutely true.  Any contrary, exculpatory evidence suggesting that Bill Schmalfeldt is not the vile, racist pig everyone knows he is should be submitted as a comment to this story, per established journalistic standards as practiced by Schmalfeldt himself. Goose, gander…some assembly required.

Like(8)Dislike(0)