Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

Stand by children. The fun has just begun,

Really??  Does DUMBFUCK already have ANOTHER TODDLER lined up to stalk?  With two fresh restraining orders less than 48 hours old?

What’s a more accurate single word description that DUMBFUCK?  Because we need it.  A mental health professional friend of mine, with whom I have shared many episodes of this saga over adult beverages and chicken wings, has a term that I find excellent in conversation but too unwieldy for the page:


I think we can come up with something better…

Dianna, can I share the news yet?


Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

So last night, DUMBFUCK published this post (safe link)

Visually, as I showed in this TMZ post, it looked like this:


Our DUMBFUCK seems quite concerned that Sarah Palmer might be deleting posts or engaging in evidence spoliation.

A linguistic note: “despoiling” is what happens to unwilling virgins, but I have been told that this is not new information to certain retired GS-13 DUMBFUCKS.

But it is worth noting the irony this morning…because if you go looking for the same post right now, this is what you get:



Probably just a coincidence.  Yeah.

Another note to the fine deputies of the Milwaukee County Sheriff’s Department: BOLO for another pair of restraining orders from North Carolina to be delivered to St. Francis in the coming days.  You’ll probably want to prepare stones for a lottery or straws to be drawn or whatever your chosen method for assigning unpleasant duties may happen to be.  Still, have a safe day no matter what happens.  God bless you all.


So, When I Called

…the Palatine Presbyterian Church this morning and was put through to Rev. Teri Peterson, I told her who I was and that I was checking out a personal reference. I asked her if she could tell me anything about the character of one of the parishioners by the name of Patrick Grady.

She told me that she had not been informed by Patrick Grady that he had listed her as a reference, and that the church by-laws, as well as her own personal code of conduct, prohibited her from discussing church members without the member’s prior consent.

She told me to have Mr. Grady reach out to her and give consent, and then took my number so she could call me back.

So you can understand why a wise man would be skeptical of Beelzebubill Schmalfeldt’s bullshit story.

Of course DUMBFUCK could publish the emails it claims to have sent.  It has not been shy about that when it has email to share in the past. Or it could call them back and get their consent to share everything they talked about.

That’s what a REAL reporter would lie and say it did, right, Beelzebubill?

So #transparent and so #fullofshit, how can #BeelzebubillBeSoWhite?



So yesterday, Bill Schmalfeldt helped to perpetrate a fraud/forgery/identity theft at  I thought I’d do a little amateur gumshoeing and see what that was all about.  I’m going to retrace the timeline of events below the jump:

Continue reading “Timeline”


Good Evening, DUMBFUCK!


You know, I think DUMBFUCK has finally stated, with clarity and simplicity, the nature of the corner into which it has painted itself.

Perhaps a promotion to GS-12 is in order.

GS negative thirteen to GS negative twelve IS a step up, isn’t it?

But perhaps I misunderstand…is DUMBFUCK flummoxed by an inability to see how it could be both a coward AND a liar?

Well, we Zombies know that the answer is in the question.  DUMBFUCK just has to EMBRACE it.



It Kind Of Makes Sense…

…in a perverse and twisted sort of way, when you think about it.

If you want to set about hiding your decade of online crazy from the world, I suppose you could do worse than finding someone crazier than you and hiding under her Cloak of Insanity.


If Schmidt Wants a War, He Can Find Me By Following The Scent of Fear Pee And Cowardice

I feel sorry for JJJ Schmidt. I have no idea who is sending him vile comments about his wife. I have asked so many different people to do it, it’s impossible to keep track of them all. Since he’s never shown the least amount of interest in stopping his drooling readership from sending vile comments about MY wife in response to the hundreds of times I have published photos of my enemies’ wives and children, that is not why I pity him. I would ask whoever is doing so to cease, because it puts you at the same level as me. And I can’t abide the idea of anyone being more vile than me.

And just to be clear, I’m not ACTUALLY asking anyone to cease posting about Schmidt’s wife. I’m saying that I would ask…if someone put a gun to my head threatened to cut off my internet access. No, I feel sorry for Schmidt because his son, JJJ Schmidt Jr. forces me to pour Johnnie Walker Red down my throat by the fifth. Seriously. If you have a serious degenerative neurological disorder like me, and you run a twenty-four hour intravenous line of cheap scotch all day like I do, that’s a death wish, Honey Chile.

I know wants desperately for me to write in complete sentences. But as I am concerned for his health (WHY WON’T YOU JUST DIE ALREADY!!), I must deny him that wish. All that travel from St. Francis to Milwaukee and back. Charging scooter batteries. Telling lies in a strange, new courtroom. Having to own up to the lies I have told in the past. I’m afraid my poor old demented brain would melt into a puddle of fear pee!

So, take a tip from ol’ Doc Parvocampus. Worry less about the Zombies and Lickspittles that are NONE of your business, concentrate more on your actual life. Making new friends, for instance. I’ve lived here for four months and I’ve talked to more police officers than residents. The Lovely And Talented Cindy runs the other way when she sees my unkempt, poop-encrusted beard coming. Or maybe it’s the whiskey smell. I don’t know. Whatever.

I know it’s good for everyone’s readership to keep up the skeer on me. Well…everyone’s but mine. And if that causes tension in my life, if that helps him give me even more feelings of impotence and irrelevance, then he should keep on keepin’ on. Schmidt cannot harm me now any more than he has. I’m out of his reach, and my friend Johnnie has entirely detached me from Reality. All Schmidt can do is make me wet myself in front of the cops, and I SHALL LIVE TO SEE HIM PAY.

(GS-13 writer/editor/proofreader alert! Be on the lookout for literate smartness ahead.)

There are six defendants who, according to the USPS, will received court documents on Monday. None of them are JJJ Schmidt.

(/GS-13 writer/editor/proofreader alert)
So, if Mr. Schmidt will just pardon me, I’m just not interested in playing with him, despite pounding my F5 key on his blog all day long. I’ll look at his blog whenever I bloody well feel like it, because even though I don’t want to “play” with him, I do need to copy his posts word for word because I lack the creativity to write about anything except poop and Cub Scout butt sex. Which is the funniest thing ever.

In fact, Mr. Schmidt has but one thing to worry about from me.

When I inevitably convince myself that he and Aaron Rambler are the masterminds behind this little game that Linda Doubting is playing… that would be a brand new source of much LULZ and general mirth and merriment. But I’ll chat more about that when I see the actual paperwork and get someone to explain it to me.

Get some rest, Schmidtbag. The last few times I saw you, you came off as disorganized, disheveled, and discombobulated. But that might be because I was blind drunk and had mistaken someone else for you. The seven of you were pale, ashen, stammering, unprepared, Grumpy, Sneezy and Doc! Those days are over, Mr. Schmidt, for now I am reprinting posts from your blog whole, and there is nothing you can do about it. Concentrate on your actual problems and spend a little less time trying to shed sunlight on my idiocy.

Have a pleasant birthday, old chap. I’ll be sure to chug a fifth of Johnnie in your honor. But really, any reason will do.


Good Morning,DUMBFUCK!

Let’s start by noting that today’s unmedicated, dementia-addled, Johnnie Walker Red fueled insanity rage is archived forever at (and wouldn’t that URL be PERFECT with an ‘s’ on the end?).

 Take a close look, my friends.  Take very close look.

In the space of just four minutes, from 9:38 PM to 9:41 PM, we have a WORLD CLASS DUMBFUCK condemning bkwatch1, and by extension all the rest of us, for stepping up and defending any and all innocents it has attacked.  And I use that word “innocent” with intention and with purpose, because only in this pudding-brained DUMBFUCK’S imagination has anyone been legally accused, tried or found guilty of 

  • Smearing a dead woman (whom it can no longer stand to refer to as its spouse, apparently – doesn’t that just scream SOULMATE to you?);
  • Getting drunk and “fucking men other than hubby in front of kids” (and wouldn’t it just be easier to say ‘ex-wives?’);
  • Being a “deadbeat grifter who offer their wife’s sexual services” (perhaps because it wasn’t getting a cut of the action going on at the local Traveling J?);

I wonder if a DUMBFUCK JURINALIST would even be capable of favoring its imaginary dedicated fans with the details of charges filed, dates of trials, convictions, and sentences served by these vile and heinous criminals.

Doing so might give the DUMBFUCK   the barest, most fleeting opportunity to actually STAND on the moral high ground it cannot possibly claim. There is absolutely zero chance that will ever happen.  

Because DUMBFUCK is too busy defending the hero BRETT KIMBERLIN, a criminal in EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD, a man who 

  • Was convicted of felony perjury in 1973, according to his own authorized biography;
  • Has admitted to running a large scale illegal drug ring;
  • Remains the prime and only suspect in the murder of Julia Scyphers in 1978, at the time the grandmother of his underage girlfriend;
  • Was convicted in June 1980 of conspiracy to possess marijuana with intent to distribute;
  • Was convicted in November 1980 of possession and illegal use of Department of Defense insignia, illegal use of the Seal of the President of the United States, and impersonation of a federal officer;
  • Was convicted of setting a series of bombs in Speedway, Indiana in 1978;
  • Was sentenced to 50+ years in prison, an uncompleted sentence for which he remains on parole;
  • Was found legally responsible for the death of bombing victim Carl DeLong;
  • Was returned to federal prison for failing to satisfy the civil judgment against him in that case;
  • Was legally adjudicated a pedophile as a result of a civil case in 2014.

This is the equivalence that a DUMBFUCK desperately wants to draw.  This is the battleground DUMBFUCK has chosen.  This is the field where the lifeblood of a DUMBFUCK’S microscopic credibility stains the grass, where its rotting carcass lies pinned to the ground by the arrows and swords of the Lickspittle Zombie Horde.

Too bad, so sad, tough luck DUMBFUCK.

Doesn’t it make you wonder, my Zombie friends?  How can a DUMBFUCK make the incredible claim that we hide from it,   

a monstrous beast who says…  

…but constantly runs to hide behind the NINJANUNS, behind The Lovely And Talented Cindy (Who Is Probably Disgusted By It When Its Back Is Turned), behind @wordpresssdotcom and @wp_digest when it finds the butthurt it so desperately seeks, when the people it tries to intimidate and threaten with doxing react not with the cowering and puddles of fear pee with which it is so familiar but rather with the deserved pointage, laughery and mockeration with which it is ALSO SO VERY FAMILIAR?

It makes me wonder my friends, of a question I would surely ask the the homely and friendless sociopath should our paths ever cross (HA!):


But our paths never will cross, so it’s just going to hang there, unasked and unanswered.