Sometimes The Law Is So Simple Even A DUMBFUCK Can Understand It

But not today, obviously.

I got this photo via email:  

For those of you viewing on devices that make this image too small to read, here’s what it says:

A lawsuit has been filed against you, or the entity you represent in this court under the number shown above. A copy of the complaint is attached.
This is not a summons, or an official notice from the court. It is a request that, to avoid expenses, you waive formal service of a summons by signing and returning the enclosed waiver. To avoid these expenses, you must return the signed waiver within 30 days (give at least 30 days, or at least 60 days if the defendant is outside any judicial district of the United States) from the date shown below, which is the day this notice was sent. Two copies of the waiver form are enclosed, along with a stamped, self-addressed envelope or other prepaid means for returning one copy. You may keep the other copy.
What happens next?
If you return the signed waiver, I will file it with the court. The action will then proceed as if you had been served on the date the waiver is filed, but no summons will be served on you and you will have 60 days from the date this notice is sent (see date below) to answer the complaint (or 90 days if this notice is sent to you outside any judicial district of the United States.
If you do not return the signed waiver within the time indicated, I will arrange to have the summons and complaint served on you. And I will ask the court to require you, or the entity you represent, to pay the expenses of making service.
Please read the enclosed statement about the duty to avoid unnecessary expenses.
I certify that this request is being sent to you on the date below.

This is what it DOES NOT SAY:

I WILL ASK THE COURT TO SERVE YOU.

I WILL ASK THE COURT TO SERVE YOU AT ITS EXPENSE.

I WILL FILE A MOTION TO HAVE THE COURT ORDER YOU TO SHOW CAUSE WHY YOU SHOULD NOT BE HELD IN CONTEMPT OF A COURT ORDER THAT NO ONE CAN PROVE YOU HAVE RECEIVED, MUCH LESS SEEN.

I WILL BEHAVE LIKE A COMPLETE DUMBFUCK WHO THINKS HE KNOWS EVERY STATUTE AND NUANCE OF THE LAW EVEN THOUGH I HAVE FILED HALF A DOZEN LAWSUITS, NOT ONE OF WHICH HAS EVEN SURVIVED A MOTION TO DISMISS.

I WILL CALL THE PARTIES WHOM I DISMISSED WITH PREJUDICE “COWARDS” WHEN IT WAS I WHO CURLED UP IN PUDDLES OF HOT FEAR PEE AT THE FIRST SIGN OF OPPOSITION.

But please, feel free to review the record of what the plaintiff has ACTUALLY done, versus what the above form says he is supposed to do.

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

Stand by children. The fun has just begun,

Really??  Does DUMBFUCK already have ANOTHER TODDLER lined up to stalk?  With two fresh restraining orders less than 48 hours old?

What’s a more accurate single word description that DUMBFUCK?  Because we need it.  A mental health professional friend of mine, with whom I have shared many episodes of this saga over adult beverages and chicken wings, has a term that I find excellent in conversation but too unwieldy for the page:

CERTIFIED WHACKADOODLE

I think we can come up with something better…

Dianna, can I share the news yet?

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

So last night, DUMBFUCK published this post (safe link) https://archive.is/5IAxh

Visually, as I showed in this TMZ post, it looked like this:

img_0176-1img_0177-1img_0178-1

Our DUMBFUCK seems quite concerned that Sarah Palmer might be deleting posts or engaging in evidence spoliation.

A linguistic note: “despoiling” is what happens to unwilling virgins, but I have been told that this is not new information to certain retired GS-13 DUMBFUCKS.

But it is worth noting the irony this morning…because if you go looking for the same post right now, this is what you get:

spoliation

 

Probably just a coincidence.  Yeah.

Another note to the fine deputies of the Milwaukee County Sheriff’s Department: BOLO for another pair of restraining orders from North Carolina to be delivered to St. Francis in the coming days.  You’ll probably want to prepare stones for a lottery or straws to be drawn or whatever your chosen method for assigning unpleasant duties may happen to be.  Still, have a safe day no matter what happens.  God bless you all.

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So, When I Called

…the Palatine Presbyterian Church this morning and was put through to Rev. Teri Peterson, I told her who I was and that I was checking out a personal reference. I asked her if she could tell me anything about the character of one of the parishioners by the name of Patrick Grady.

She told me that she had not been informed by Patrick Grady that he had listed her as a reference, and that the church by-laws, as well as her own personal code of conduct, prohibited her from discussing church members without the member’s prior consent.

She told me to have Mr. Grady reach out to her and give consent, and then took my number so she could call me back.

So you can understand why a wise man would be skeptical of Beelzebubill Schmalfeldt’s bullshit story.

Of course DUMBFUCK could publish the emails it claims to have sent.  It has not been shy about that when it has email to share in the past. Or it could call them back and get their consent to share everything they talked about.

That’s what a REAL reporter would lie and say it did, right, Beelzebubill?

So #transparent and so #fullofshit, how can #BeelzebubillBeSoWhite?

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Timeline

So yesterday, Bill Schmalfeldt helped to perpetrate a fraud/forgery/identity theft at http://threepercenter.org.  I thought I’d do a little amateur gumshoeing and see what that was all about.  I’m going to retrace the timeline of events below the jump:

Continue reading “Timeline”

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Good Evening, DUMBFUCK!

  

You know, I think DUMBFUCK has finally stated, with clarity and simplicity, the nature of the corner into which it has painted itself.

Perhaps a promotion to GS-12 is in order.

GS negative thirteen to GS negative twelve IS a step up, isn’t it?

But perhaps I misunderstand…is DUMBFUCK flummoxed by an inability to see how it could be both a coward AND a liar?

Well, we Zombies know that the answer is in the question.  DUMBFUCK just has to EMBRACE it.

 

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It Kind Of Makes Sense…

…in a perverse and twisted sort of way, when you think about it.

If you want to set about hiding your decade of online crazy from the world, I suppose you could do worse than finding someone crazier than you and hiding under her Cloak of Insanity.

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If Schmidt Wants a War, He Can Find Me By Following The Scent of Fear Pee And Cowardice

I feel sorry for JJJ Schmidt. I have no idea who is sending him vile comments about his wife. I have asked so many different people to do it, it’s impossible to keep track of them all. Since he’s never shown the least amount of interest in stopping his drooling readership from sending vile comments about MY wife in response to the hundreds of times I have published photos of my enemies’ wives and children, that is not why I pity him. I would ask whoever is doing so to cease, because it puts you at the same level as me. And I can’t abide the idea of anyone being more vile than me.

And just to be clear, I’m not ACTUALLY asking anyone to cease posting about Schmidt’s wife. I’m saying that I would ask…if someone put a gun to my head threatened to cut off my internet access. No, I feel sorry for Schmidt because his son, JJJ Schmidt Jr. forces me to pour Johnnie Walker Red down my throat by the fifth. Seriously. If you have a serious degenerative neurological disorder like me, and you run a twenty-four hour intravenous line of cheap scotch all day like I do, that’s a death wish, Honey Chile.

I know wants desperately for me to write in complete sentences. But as I am concerned for his health (WHY WON’T YOU JUST DIE ALREADY!!), I must deny him that wish. All that travel from St. Francis to Milwaukee and back. Charging scooter batteries. Telling lies in a strange, new courtroom. Having to own up to the lies I have told in the past. I’m afraid my poor old demented brain would melt into a puddle of fear pee!

So, take a tip from ol’ Doc Parvocampus. Worry less about the Zombies and Lickspittles that are NONE of your business, concentrate more on your actual life. Making new friends, for instance. I’ve lived here for four months and I’ve talked to more police officers than residents. The Lovely And Talented Cindy runs the other way when she sees my unkempt, poop-encrusted beard coming. Or maybe it’s the whiskey smell. I don’t know. Whatever.

I know it’s good for everyone’s readership to keep up the skeer on me. Well…everyone’s but mine. And if that causes tension in my life, if that helps him give me even more feelings of impotence and irrelevance, then he should keep on keepin’ on. Schmidt cannot harm me now any more than he has. I’m out of his reach, and my friend Johnnie has entirely detached me from Reality. All Schmidt can do is make me wet myself in front of the cops, and I SHALL LIVE TO SEE HIM PAY.

(GS-13 writer/editor/proofreader alert! Be on the lookout for literate smartness ahead.)

There are six defendants who, according to the USPS, will received court documents on Monday. None of them are JJJ Schmidt.

(/GS-13 writer/editor/proofreader alert)
So, if Mr. Schmidt will just pardon me, I’m just not interested in playing with him, despite pounding my F5 key on his blog all day long. I’ll look at his blog whenever I bloody well feel like it, because even though I don’t want to “play” with him, I do need to copy his posts word for word because I lack the creativity to write about anything except poop and Cub Scout butt sex. Which is the funniest thing ever.

In fact, Mr. Schmidt has but one thing to worry about from me.

When I inevitably convince myself that he and Aaron Rambler are the masterminds behind this little game that Linda Doubting is playing… that would be a brand new source of much LULZ and general mirth and merriment. But I’ll chat more about that when I see the actual paperwork and get someone to explain it to me.

Get some rest, Schmidtbag. The last few times I saw you, you came off as disorganized, disheveled, and discombobulated. But that might be because I was blind drunk and had mistaken someone else for you. The seven of you were pale, ashen, stammering, unprepared, Grumpy, Sneezy and Doc! Those days are over, Mr. Schmidt, for now I am reprinting posts from your blog whole, and there is nothing you can do about it. Concentrate on your actual problems and spend a little less time trying to shed sunlight on my idiocy.

Have a pleasant birthday, old chap. I’ll be sure to chug a fifth of Johnnie in your honor. But really, any reason will do.

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