And What Have We Here?

A freshly active Team Free Speech Blog!  Right here at sonoranconservative.com!

Seven new posts just in the last three days, all dedicated to pointage, laughery and mockification of Moobflop McBeetusflesh!

I wonder what could have happened so recently to motivate the rapid creation of YET ANOTHER website dedicated to pointing out the MASSIVE LIFE FAILURES of Homo Simpson?

Surely it couldn’t have been in response to the DUMBFUCKERY of a DUMBFUCK!

Remember, people!  Don’t fuck with Moobflop McBeetusflesh or anyone he pre 10 ds to love while telling them he’s like to bend another man over a chair and rape them!  You’ll only wind up in his crosshairs, just like me – laughing at him every single day for the rest of his life.

 

 

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Denials Require Proof, You Say?

Well, it’s a well known fact that Bill Schmalfeldt once alleged in a federal lawsuit that his cousin Roy Schmalfeldt defamed him by accusing him of rape.  Bill Schmalfeldt also dismissed that lawsuit with prejudice, which leaves him legally unable to deny that he is, in fact, a rapist.

If what Bill Schmalfeldt says today – “DENIALS REQUIRE PROOF!” – what other things has he done that he cannot provide proof that he never did?

  • Did he in fact get kicked to the curb by St. Gail after befouling his marriage bed with Hell’s Kitchen Kate?
  • Did he in fact live the remainder of his marriage with St. Gail in separate beds because her condition for allowing him into the tincasa was the permanent withholding of spousal privileges?
  • Did he in fact scam the National Institutes of Health into a pensioned disability retirement?
  • Did he in fact ever have a job in journalism or radio from which he was not fired?
  • Was he in fact evicted from the enclave of the NINJANUNS?
  • Did he in fact violate his lease in Iowa to escape to his new Inflatababe?
  • Did he in fact fail to inform the states of Wisconsin, Iowa and possibly South Carolina of his disability, thus fraudulently acquiring driver’s licenses in one or more of those states?
  • Did he in fact administer multiple pairs of Irish Sunglasses to his soulmate throughout their marriage?
  • Was she in fact too quick for him to catch?
  • Did he in fact abandon four pets in two states to the streets?
  • Were those pets in fact served as entrees in various Asian restaurants?
  • Did he in fact leave the urn behind in Iowa?
  • Did he in fact murder his first wife and chop her body into stew meat?
  • Does he in fact no longer take any medications for Parkinson’s?’

As the GREASE-SWEATING BEETUSBUCKET DUMBFUCK says, 

DENIALS REQUIRE PROOF!

Based on the Rules of Schmalfeldt, simply because I say so, all these things are true. The only way to disprove them is for DUMBFUCK – in true Alinsky style – to live up to his own rule book and provide sufficient proof to the negative.

And naturally I am the judge of sufficiency.

I’ll wait.

But only until 9 PM Eastern.

And you know, if anyone thinks of anything else he needs to provide denials for, leave a comment.

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FAILDOX – A How-To Guide

When you commence to faildox someone, it’s always best to start with an assumption that can’t be proved.  A couple examples:

  • A commenter identifying himself by two letters must be using HIS OWN INITIALS, and not someone else’s.
  • A commenter identifying himself by two letters must be using his FIRST and LAST initials, and ONLY IN THAT ORDER. He cannot use a FIRST and MIDDLE initial, or a MIDDLE and LAST initial, and certainly not in reverse order.  That’s just simply against the rules.
  • Sonoran Conservative can only mean he’s from Sonora, California, and not
    • Sonora, Ohio
    • Sonora, North Dakota
    • Sonora, New York
    • Sonora, Missouri
    • Sonora Mississippi
    • Sonora, Kentucky
    • Sonora, Arkansas,
    • Sonora, Arizona
    • Sonora Texas
    • Sonora, Canada
    • Or any of the 5 Sonoras scattered across Mexico.
  • “I started high school at the end of the Carter administration” can only mean 1980. It surely can’t be 1979.
  • Even if 1980 is correct, it absolutely MUST follow that a student starting in 1980 CAN ONLY graduate in 1984. No high school student has ever been held back a year. Nor has any high school student ever been sick or injured and failed to graduate with his class. And even though I know several people from my college who whizzed through high school in just three years, that couldn’t possibly be the case here. Oh, and if I remember correctly, there were still three-year high schools that started with 10th grade in various parts of the country back in 1980. But none of these things could have happened.  That would require due diligence that hotshot investigative reporters just don’t have time for.
  • Here’s another fun thought…was Sonora Union High School the ONLY high school serving that community in 1980? What were the residency boundaries?  If an “MJ” did live in the Sonoma, CA area (again, a very large and unproven assumption), how does one prove that he or she was the only such “MJ” who did, much less prove that – even if there was only one – this person didn’t attend another nearby high school?

By the way, YOU LARDASS, BEETUSJUICE-DRIPPING DUMBFUCK – when you redact information from a document…REDACT IT EVERYWHERE.  Coulter. You are responsible for me knowing that.

Now, I have no doubt that there is a Michael David Jackson who pled guilty in Pierce County, Washington, to raping his stepdaughters.  The evidence is clear and compelling.  Nearly as compelling as the evidence that Brett Kimberlin is the Speedway Bomber, and that he slept with his wife when she was underage.

I also have no doubt that the commenter MJ is Sonoran Conservative.  Not only have I proven it for myself, Sonoran Conservative has admitted that he comments under both handles.

Here’s what’s missing:

Even one scintilla of proof that Michael David Jackson has ever commented on Hogewash!, Thinking Man’s Zombie or BillySez. 

To make that connection, you ASSUMED, COMPLETELY WITHOUT PROOF, that Sonoran Conservative was from Sonora California, rather than Arizona, Arkansas, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, Canada or any of five towns in Mexico.

Then you doubled that error by further ASSUMING, COMPLETELY WITHOUT PROOF, that Sonoran Conservative attended Sonora Union High School.

Then, you trebled that error by further ASSUMING, COMPLETELY WITHOUT PROOF, that Sonoran Conservative started at this school in 1980.

Then, you quadrupled that error by further ASSUMING, COMPLETELY WITHOUT PROOF, that Sonoran Conservative graduated from high school in 1984.

Then, you quintupled that error by further ASSUMING, COMPLETELY WITHOUT PROOF, that Sonoran Conservative aka MJ actually has a first name that starts with M and a last name that starts with J.

To summarize…

You can say that Sonoran Conservative = MJ
And you can say that David Michael Jackson = Child Rapist

But your conclusion that MJ = David Michael Jackson springs not from facts but from at least five separate proof-deficient assumptions.

  1. You can’t prove that Sonoran Conservative was ever from Sonora, California…you can only shout it.
  2. You can’t prove that Sonoran Conservative ever attended Sonora Union High School…you can only shout it.
  3. You can’t prove that Sonoran Conservative started high school ANYWHERE in 1980…you can only shout it.
  4. You can’t prove that Sonoran Conservative graduated high school ANYWHERE in 1984…you can only shout it.
  5. You can’t prove that Sonoran Conservative has a first name that starts with M and a last name that starts with J…you can only shout it.

Every fact that follows from those assumptions pertains to Michael David Jackson.  Not a single fact connects him to Sonoran Conservative. In legal parlance, the connections you have drawn from these false assumptions – and they are false – are “Fruit of the poisoned tree.”

Also – and you’re gonna love this – it’s defamation per se! You know…”Falsely accusing someone of a crime?” Yeah, you did that.

And the consequences of that failure will be GLORIOUS to see.

  • Blogs will vanish
  • Tweets will vanish
  • Accounts will go private, then be deleted and REBRANDED!!!
  • Tears will fall from sad cheeks
  • Butts will hurt

DOX?

FAIL.

P.S. Con Man 101 – when your mark wants to be told a particular lie (“my fax machine just rang!”), TELL HIM THAT LIE.

P.P.S.

And in case you wondered, EVERYTHING is already archived, so it’s a waste of time to memory-hole your defamation.

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I’M A PRIVATE CITIZEN!

AND I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE.

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Why Steal Tweets? Why Not?

Sometimes, with some people…extra precautions are necessary when documenting very dangerous levels of stupidity.

And by dangerous I mean “handling nitroglycerin” dangerous.  The kind of dangerous that fear pee-soaked, sandy vagina, nutshuffling penises will delete without warning in a sudden explosion of rank cowardice.

Take this guy, for instance: he might be a world record holder in Twitter cowardice, with the most lost, abandoned or suspended Twitter handles in history. But since he’s a SJW-pussy, Twitter just lets him keep on keepin’ on, as long as his impotent attacks are directed at acceptable targets, even if they are so far out of his intellectual class they might as well be orbiting a different star (and I think that’s everybody who isn’t made of latex and living in a hotel).

This particular DUMBFUCK recently peed himself in an effort to show how the lawsuit in which he is currently sinking fast as a defendant will hinge on HOW TWITTER WORKS rather than on HOW A CONTRACT WORKS.

The reason he wants to argue about Twitter and not about contracts is painfully obvious to anyone with a double digit IQ.

But that’s not the purpose of this post.

The purpose of this post is to explore the reasons why Zombies like myself take screen caps of people’s tweets.

In three simple words: “Because they’re cowards.”

The image you see above is a screencap of a tweet. It’s STOLEN.  (shhh! our little secret…)

I made an image file of it, and uploaded it to an image hosting site.

Why would I do that?

So I could EMBED the URL of the tweet underneath it when I included the image in this post.  You’ll notice that the cursor changes because the image is a link.  Click it, if you want to go to a DUMFUCK Twitter account.

So there must be some advantage to doing this, right?

Indeed there is!

If you were an enterprising zombie, and you chose to delve into the archives on this site, you would find no small number of posts that make somewhat less sense now than they did when they were first published. The reason for this is that I followed the Twitter terms of service and embedded a tweet in the post.

And then the owner of the tweet (GUESS WHO?!?) deleted the tweet, and often the entire account, because he figured out that he might get in trouble for it, and that if he deleted the whole thing the trouble would vanish. Kind of like the old “Family Circus” cartoons:

Y’all remember the name of the oldest kid, don’tcha? Of course you do!

What I have done – what is necessary to do with someone who refuses to produce documents in discovery – is retain an image of the original tweet, so that certain nutshuffling footlong lovers who enjoy watching men fellate other men

It’s true!

can’t delete the evidence of their perfidy and later deny it ever happened.

So you can call it theft if you like, but wouldn’t it just be easier to use the term that a certain DUMBFUCK himself favors:

EVIDENCE GATHERING.

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Let’s Get This on the Record and Out of the Way Right Now

During yesterday’s wonderful monkey dance by the Great Weeping Pussy of Clinton, Iowa, this tweet appeared:

No one who has observed DUMBFUCK for more than a weekend or so is unfamiliar with his distaste for anyone who sticks their booger vault into someone else’s business.  Why who could forget the many times DUMBFUCK himself stuck his own mucus repository into Aaron Walker’s business?  If there is anything one can glean from those episodes, one thing is clear:  Bill Schmalfeldt has nothing but contempt for people who play a lot of video games.

I guess it’s a good thing he doesn’t know anybody like that.

But I digress.

This coward in Iowa will not put up with people who go and insert themselves into conversations where they haven’t been invited to reply!

Say, what’s my Twitter handle doing in those tweets?

Oops.

I should amend my prior statement.

This coward in Iowa will not put up with people who go and insert themselves into conversations where they HAVE been invited to reply, but who then proceed to thoroughly embarrass and cause to monkeydance the punkass shitsniffing cocksnogger who did the inviting. 

Because giant, sand-stuffed pussy.

But really, DUMBFUCK has a long and storied history of whining like a worthless bitch at the following times:

  1. when people stick their booger vaults where he doesn’t want them stuck;
  2. when people call him out for sticking his snotbank where he has no right to stick it;
  3. when people decide to engage the Amazon Vagina Warrior Princess du Jour behind whose skirts he is currently cowering; and
  4. any other time.

So when this tweet showed up in my notifications…

 

I thought it was interesting, someone sticking their booger vault into something that was none of their affair, to paraphrase an idiot. Unless of course that pussy went begging to his new Warrior Princess for aid and succor. But Big, Bad, Brave Billy would never do that just for someone he knows he could curbstomp, would he?

“NOW YOU STOP RESPONDING TO TWEETS WHERE I MENTION YOU OR I’M GOING TO CURBSTOMP YOUR ASS!!!

Right.

I’m confident you’ll figure out the technique by the sixth or seventh try. Will you be leaning on your cane or sitting in your walker?

He says he has a phone number.  He never calls.

He says he has an address.  He never writes and never drops by.

It’s not a tough riddle to solve…that puddle of urine isn’t going to mop itself up, is it, DUMBFUCK?

In any case, @redheadturkey was not part of the conversation.  Had not even been mentioned before appearing UNINVITED.  It’s the kind of thing that sand-packed weeping vaginas like the Coward of Clinton County simply will not countenance.

But what’s done is done. It’s on the record. It’s archived. When DUMBFUCK Bill Schmalfeldt makes CaptiveNurseReno his newest sword and shield, and cries “Look how they treat her…just for being fool enough to fall in love with me! (or words to that effect)” remember:

Reno/@redheadturkey CRASHED THIS PARTY of her own free will.  No one had spoken to her or about her…except DUMBFUCK. She stepped up and invited upon herself everything that may follow. I hope she’s smarter than her idiot boyfriend and knows better than to blame someone else for what she just stepped into.

And a last word of caution:  The Cowardly Lion will blame somebody, and who’s going to be handy in the Deep South?

Bless your heart, darlin’. Bless your li’l ole heart.

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So I Guess The Great White Plagiarism Hunter Has Lost His Mojo

Used to be, not so long ago, that if John Hoge posted something on the Internet, you could count on a DUMBFUCK to stick that post into Google and call John a plagiarist for repeating a joke.

(Remind me to tell you the one about the lardass cripple who hired a flatbed truck and a forklift to haul him to court – it’s a really good one!)

Recently though, DUMBFUCK seems to have lost the knack for searching the Internet for thing other people have said.

Over at Cabin Boy Unread (no), a commenter named “Bob” took issue with the whinging that DUMBFUCK was aiming at Jason Chaffetz over his assertion that it might come down to a choice between paying a premium for the insurance or picking up that sweet iPhone.

Bob pointed out that long before Rep. Chaffetz spoke out on Sunday, President Lightbringer was saying essentially the same thing:

As you can see, DUMBFUCK’S response was as filled with grace and charm as anything else he’s ever written.  ALWAYS WITH THE BUTT STUFF…and especially so when the commenter in question shares a name with his monoplacental twin!  I wonder if there’s some deeper meaning there…

But it seems…what’s the word?…QUEER! that a DUMBFUCK so skilled at finding quotes on the Internet would go begging for help in this instance, when it’s right out in front of God and EVERYBODY to find.

Copy. Paste. Search. Result.

5 seconds, tops.

Whoo!  Somebody get me a cold drink, I am exhausted.

UPDATE:  After deleting a comment wherein “Bob” provided the linkage DUMBFUCK requested, “Bob” reposted the video. Sadly the archive does not retain the image, but I feel confident it is the same video posted above.

So now we have a record when DUMBFUCK deletes this comment too, during work hours at KMCN-FM.

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Good Afternoon, DUMBFUCK!

“Trump is a pathologic baby man.”

Says the sixtysomething year old man in adult diapers who claimed to be unable to function without his 24/7/365 Captive Nurse. Until she died, and then he magically got all better.

Says the elderly manchild who lies without compunction about anything and everything, merely because he can, not because it serves his self-interest.

Says the toddler (not because he’s young, but because he’s too obese to keep his balance except with a flatbed and a forklift) who has no interest in anything BUT himself (and any other STUFF having to do with people’s BUTTS), as evidenced in how he always paints himself the victim of the UNFAIR!!! but entirely predictable consequences of his own bad acts.

I got a broken irony meter here, anybody interested?

 

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Bill Schmalfeldt, Plagiarist

For a long time now, it has been an established truth that Bill Schmalfeldt engages in plagiarism.

Is that defamatory? Not if truth is a defense, as we shall see in a moment.

If I were so inclined, I could track down half a dozen examples, and perhaps more, of Bill Schmalfeldt’s rank perfidy.  But I’m not so inclined.  Instead, I will mention one known example and leave it to the archivists to reproduce if they wish. In addition I am going to provide two more concrete examples to prove that – for the Google bomb –

BILL SCHMALFELDT IS A PLAGIARIST.

…not to mention really fucking stupid. Continue reading “Bill Schmalfeldt, Plagiarist”

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O RLY, DUMBFUCK? You Say That Like It’s A BAD Thing!

Does this ring a bell?

PLAGIARIST
LIAR

And as to vexatious litigant… 7 lawsuits in under three years, none of which survived motions to dismiss.

‘Nuff said on that.

Remember, class: All that is required to discredit Bill Schmalfeldt, is to quote Bill Schmalfeldt.

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