Sorry, but this fat pitch was just floating up there, begging to be crushed…
Well, methinks that anyone who willfully misunderstands the Shakespearean creativity of being insulted as a “syphilitic catchfart” probably should be whacked in the forehead with an axe handle anytime he uses the word “methinks.”
Hush your piehole and take the dogs out. Hate for them to interrupt another podcast. I’ve heard that can lead to sudden anal cancer in canines.
Just your friendly neighborhood zombie here, to remind you that your beloved wasn’t cold yet before you were raging yet again at HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!! in a podcast because YOU failed to include the proper forms in your request for a continuance.
Also to remind you that it was just three days after saying
Because you never were going to do it. You know it. I know it. The American people know it!
I guess we know now why you were always the one left standing in a bar fight. Did your palsie-walsies jump right in and take care of your business while you and your urine-soaked panties hid behind the jukebox?
Last man standing…until after closing time when you had to repay those favors out in the parking lot?
A poor, poor, pitiful late stage ELEVENTYFOUR Parkinson’s patient who can’t walk unassisted or go outside when the temperatures dip into the brisk forties, who couldn’t possibly hurt anyone as weak as it is, unless it’s using its magic hand to cripple people it can’t catch as it shuffles along into courtrooms in its rolly-walker at the blistering pace of 10 feet per minute, who could catch a turtle that wasn’t chained down?
What’s a DUMBFUCK gonna do?
Send its sister after me?
Ain’t it ruff. Ain’t it tuff. Ain’t it got the baddest stuff?
Before it calls her out, it should be sure to remind her that my personal two-tiered home security system, which is controlled from a locked box in the bedroom and another in the hall closet, is entirely gender neutral.
And girl braaaaaaaaaaains are tasty.
I’ve been hearing for years now how a certain Texas “grifter,” “conman,” “liar” and “pimp” (“but at least I never called his wife a whore!”) told THREE DIFFERENT STORIES about the stillbirth of his daughter, and how a certain DUMBFUCK’S harassment of him was turned into TENS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN FRAUDULENT FUNDRAISING!!
Three different stories…wow.
That’s, like, a lot.
- Heart failure
- Kidney failure
- Ovarian cancer
- General organ failure
- Stage IV stage fright or something
Dear God, I wonder what it will be tomorrow?
- Goose down asphyxiation
- The heartbreak of psoriasis
- Lactose intolerance
- Terminal hemorrhoid
- Athlete’s foot
- Flesh eating bacteria
- e. Coli
Right now, I think if I were enumerating a list of differences between a certain DUMBFUCK’S description of the aforementioned Texan and said DUMBFUCK himself, I would say that the separation is illustrated by TENS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN FRAUDULENT FUNDRAISING.
…which really just highlights the notion that the DUMBFUCK understands just how unbelievable his lies truly are.
But I’m just a skanky meth-head with dyed hair (And doesn’t that sound just like his description of one of his hapless ex-wives? Gosh someone is such a misogynist at heart. Shame Shame!) who really, really thinks she’s a zombie according to some DUMBFUCK. So weight things accordingly.
My heart goes out to the family of any child injured in an accident. But we also know how many times we have been burned by relying on information posted on this blog. Still, I suppose as soon as someone verifies that this actually happened, I would have little choice but to drop my lawsuit against Patrick Grady. Or, we can NOT verify it, I can go on wondering if this is just another lame attempt to punk me, and the case moves on.
So at the time TTT Man left that comment in the Spam folder last week, he believed he was being pranked by Krendler. But he’s obviously too smart for that! Or at least, after being punked about 14 times previously … it was convenient to hedge his bets and declare he didn’t believe that Paul’s daughter was injured without some sort of verification.
Of course, by the same standards he holds, it stands up to the very same reasoning to assume that Gail is neither dying, in the hospital, nor even in ill health. After all, there is no independent verification of any of that information; nothing but the word of a known and proven liar. For all that’s been proved, she’s sitting on the sofa watching the Orioles game.
But, but, but, and AGAIN, But!
Today, Krendler noted that his daughter received flowers from John.
From this one little sentence, and the leaps Billy has made has using the
stunning dubious powers of intellect God has graced him with, we can take a logical stab at further extrapolating the conclusions he will reach if he stays true and consistent to his methodology.
Now stay with me Zombie Horde! It gets a bit twisty here.
1. John Who?
Well, given that it’s only the MOST COMMON GIVEN NAME FOR MEN in the entire English language … therefore it must be not just any John, but John Hoge!
John Hoge sent Krendler’s daughter flowers in the hospital!
2. That must mean…
John Hoge knows who Paul Krendler is!!
3. And from here we get...
That must mean John Hoge LIED UNDER OATH ABOUT KNOWING WHO PAUL KRENDLER IS!!!
Now, unfortunately for DUMBFUCK, if it means that, it means something else, too. This is where we pick up where DUMBFUCK left off and finish the line of logic out to its ultimate and totally rational conclusion (if we are DUMBFUCK, that is).
4. So, what else does it mean?
If John Hoge sent flowers to Krendler’s daughter in the hospital, proving that Hoge lied under oath (PERJURY!!ELEVENTY!!11!!!), then that means…
5. Krendler’s daughter is IN THE HOSPITAL!!
And if Krendler’s daughter is in the hospital, then…
6. DUMBFUCK must follow through on his own pronouncement.
I would have little choice but to drop my lawsuit against Patrick Grady.
Because DUMBFUCK is honorable.
Because DUMBFUCK is a man of his word.
Because DUMBFUCK is a worthless, soulless, insane, lying, sociopathic craprolling shitsniffer for whom truth is Silly Putty, to be twisted, bent and smashed to fit whatever magical mold he needs it to fit so that his narrative can advance.
I would cheerfully make the Feldtchart for Billy so that he can see up close and personal the way his logic works when applied to these sorts of situations.
So we can expect Hoge’s perjury, proved beyond all doubt by the delivery of flowers and balloons to Krendler’s daughter, to lead to the dismissal of his suit against Patrick Grady any day now, right?
The Billogic is unconquerable.
And let slip the dogs of war!
It seems that Bill “Fair Use For Me But Not For Thee” Schmalfeldt has posted an email he received from Aaron Walker in response to one of his empty, self-serving requests for a “moratorium” on family insults.
He had the gall to open the post with this twaddle:
©2015 by Bill Schmalfeldt
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
ANY QUOTE OR REPRINT OF CONTENT FROM THIS ARTICLE WITHOUT PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR WILL BE CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT AND PROSECUTED AS SUCH IN FEDERAL COURT
Aaron responded with both barrels. Add in the devastation of several mortars, some fixed artillery, a small aerial bombardment and for the cherry on the insult to injury sundae, a particularly well-placed shot from a flaming trebuchet. In other words, well within the bounds of reason. My particularly favorite part was when Aaron said “and if you don’t like what I am saying now, maybe you shouldn’t have written such a fucking hypocritical request.” Yeah, go figure.
In return, Billy-boy offered to provide Aaron’s contact information so that anyone could contact Aaron to “tell him what you think of his letter and this blatant extortion.” I actually might take Billy up on it just so I can send Aaron one of my world-famous cheesecakes if that’s the sort of goodie he likes.
Now, we here at The Thinking Man’s Zombie would never, ever, ever think of doing the same, as Billy refers to himself as a “private citizen.” And he is clearly in a difficult place emotionally since today ends in “y.”
But, if you would like William’s home address so that you could drop off a nice footlong-and-mayo casserole while he and TJ wait for when the vigil ends, or if you’d like to call or email him just to let him know you’re thinking of him, you can find that information conveniently located in the signature block of every LOLsuit he has ever filed, including several failed ones against the HZIC of this very site. And let’s not forget the LOLsuit that includes Patrick Grady as well if we are being fair.
Feel free. I’m sure he’d appreciate the gesture.
And really…who would be more intimately acquainted with that smell than DUMBFUCK?
Reminds me of a day last November. For me it was just another of what seems like a thousand days when DUMBFUCK swore he’d get someone, ANYONE –
“Your Honor, I call THAT GUY!!”
– under oath to tell him who I am.
Except he was hidden in the hills above Elkridge that day while his Peace Order hearing came and went. Yes, hidden he was, deep in a thicket of trees, skirts hiked up around his hips, filled with sand and reeking of what?
All together, class…