Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

JEEBUS CRIPES, YERONNER!! @hotcheeseshot “JezuzCripes, Yeronner, these non-parties are threatening not to do the same stuff THAT I ACTUALLY DO TO THEM! Make them quit not harassin’ me!”


Oh, Boy!  REBRANDING In Progress!

I can’t wait to see the beautiful butterfly that emerges this time!

How do you think DUMBFUCK will rework his web presence?  I think we will see

  • A brand-new podcast with old, crappy music in the public domain;
  • Tone deaf social satire with no connection to anything going on in society today;
  • A new website that won’t focus on Lickspittles or Zombies because that is no longer important (for about two days, maybe three);
  • New and improved references to all things alimentary;
  • Racism, sexism, homophobia and religious bigotry;
  • Helpful tips on how to be a stupid old widower with Parkinson’s disease, zero friends, and crispy fingertips from perpetually touching hot stoves;
  • Scooter maintenance tales;
  • The joys of Peapod membership;
  • How to spot the creepy liar in the mirror;
  • Spaetzle recipes; and
  • Witty repartee with the voices in your head.

How do you think his transformation will turn out?


Audience Q & A

Last night this comment popped up in moderation:  

No, really!

But it’s a good question, especially when taken, as all such questions must be, in context.

The answer is “as many as it takes to get the job done, you DUMBFUCK.”

But to put it another way, by my comparative count, I am still trailing a DUMBFUCK INTERNET EMPRESARIO by approximately 80 total domains. 

I could ask the same question: “How many fucking websites do you need, DUMBFUCK?” But I already know the answer.

We ALL know the answer to that question.


As If More Proof Is Needed

Several days ago I noted that Bill Schmalfeldt is a DUMBFUCK liar.  He podcasted that he once wrote a bit of “creative fiction” about the WJJ Hoge family that he took down something like an hour later.  Now, we know he’s a liar, he knows he’s a liar, but while I was looking for the context of his “Be proud of the filth in your head” tweet, I found a little extra proof that Bill Schmalfeldt also lies to himself.

Read from the bottom to the top, y’all, and pay particular attention to the third tweet from the bottom.  Even more particularly look at the final sentence of that tweet:

On April 15, 2015, “So I took it down A DAY OR SO LATER.

But on February 2, he took it down just a little bit more than an hour after posting it.  I suppose by Memorial Day that post will only have been up for an hour.  By July 4th it will be 10 minutes, and by Labor Day it will be entirely a figment of his imagination that never existed and I turned it around on him for no reason at all because it never happened in the first place.

All the time. ALL. THE. TIME.


Truth Now For LULZ Later

A time will come, sooner or later, when LULZSUIT VI – The Undiscovered Krendler sputters to the same ignominious end as all such lawsuits filed by this plaintiff do.

He will say there is no justice for a poor, disabled, recently widowed, defenseless Parkinson’s patient who is bullied.  He will be wrong.

He will say that Wisconsin red state right-wingers conspired against him.  He will be wrong.

He will say the defendants lied.  He will be wrong.

He will say he’s tired of the fight, that he’s just a sad old man who no longer has the will to stand up and defend himself against the withering attacks on his sandy vagina.  That will be a lie.

He’s going to lose, and he is the only one who doesn’t yet know it.  But it won’t be because he is a poor, disabled, recently widowed, defenseless, Parkinson’s- suffering victim of bullying.  It won’t be because Republican judges in Wisconsin conspired against him.  It won’t be because the defendants told better, more convincing and more easily debunked lies than he does.  It won’t be because he’s a tired old man with a leaky vagoo.

He’s going to lose for the same reason he has lost every other lawsuit he has filed.

He’s going to lose because he’s an idiot.  That’s all.


Is Sarah Palmer Stalking A DUMBFUCK?

There’s only one way for a DUMBFUCK to be sure, and that’s to sneak up and look in her windows with binoculars.


Good Evening, DUMBFUCK!

I know there’s NO POSSIBLE WAY that DUMBFUCK could be wrong about the court caring about only one thing, so I won’t even bother trying to explain.

I am but a humble, undead Zombie, and your ways are strange and frightening.

Plus, we make it a policy not to educate monkeys about things like [REDACTED],[REDACTED],[REDACTED] and [REDACTED], among other things.  Doing so simply reduces the amount of FUN that we can have with pointage, laughery and mockification of the DUMBFUCK.

The next couple of weeks are shaping up nicely…

Stay limber, my friends!