Some Things Do Require A Response

You know, I could do an epic takedown on DUMBFUCK’S entire post from this morning, but I’m a little busy right now.

I could say, yes, it’s fine that it acknowledges wrongdoing against MaryFrances Causey by photoshopping her onto a giant cock.  Shop1

And I could also say good for a DUMBFUCK for apologizing.  Except I have a feeling that DUMBFUCK remembers that apology about as accurately as it remembers its wife dying in its arms while it was glued to the internet battling evildoers and deleting comments, which is after all much more important.  Unfortunately I have too much to do right now.

I could also point out that the photo that DUMBFUCK sent to Scott Hinckley’s wife’s business email address where it was probably seen by six to ten people, none of whom at ever met or even heard of DUMBFUCK prior to that day, before being forwarded to God only knows whom, was an EXTRAORDINARILY STUPID THING TO DO.  But I’ve done that previously, so why bother?  I might also ask of a DUMBFUCK who says “but Mrs. Hinckley seemed like a nice lady who would understand,” HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW?  I could just as easily say that DUMBFUCK’S late wife seemed like an enabler for a narcissistic sociopath with an inferiority complex and deep-seated Oedipal issues, but HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW?  I would never say that.

I could suggest to a DUMBFUCK that now that its wife has passed away, it should just drop the pretense of having some noble motive for its abnormal attentions toward the Stranahan family.  I would tell it that there is not a single person on Earth who believes a word DUMBFUCK says about it.  There is only DUMBFUCK who believes, and I don’t think anyone would classify it as a human being, so we can’t count that. But like I said.  Too busy.

Me?  My motives are not noble.  I have never pretended they are.  I would not tell anyone they are.  My motives are exactly the same as DUMBFUCK’s motives, pointed in the opposite direction.  What was it he said?  “If I have hurt anyone unintentionally, my apologies. If I meant to hurt you, I hope it hurts like a mother fucker. Yes.”

But this:

Pontificator Post_4

Oh, really?

I don’t think DUMBFUCK wants to stand by that.  In fact, I am 100% sure it will soon be scrambling for a rationalization for that FUCKING BALDFACED LIE.

If you are not a fan of his voice, skip the audio and go direct to the transcript.  I have helpfully omitted all of the annoying verbal tics and crutches that so destroy his otherwise mellifluous baritone.  /sarcasm

Hi, this is a call for Michael William Palmer.  My name is Bill Schmalfeldt, I‘m calling from St. Francis, Wisconsin.  Interesting that you’ve still got Sarah on your answering machine there.  The reason I’m calling is, I need a bit of information.  Sarah Palmer is one of the people harassing me.  And I need to verify some information about her.  I’m not trying to get anybody in trouble, I‘m just trying to get the harassment to stop.  I see where she’s living in Reidsville, North Carolina now, she has three different personae, as Ashtera, as Sheeple Rage and now she’s a Dread Pirate Zombie or one thing or another.  She’s still a member of the SCA, only now it’s in the Atlantia Kingdom.  If you could give me a call back, sir, my phone number is 414-249-43xx.  And this’ll be the only time I bother you, if you’d rather not get involved in any of this I understand, but I’m just trying to get to the bottom of who this is that is harassing me.  Thank you very much.  Bye-bye.

So, you DUMBFUCK MONKEY:  While you’re doing this:

and trying to UNFUCK YOURSELF by finding some bullshit website that will reproduce that transcript WITH ALL THE VERBAL CRUTCHES…

…keep in mind I have the other message too.


Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

I know, right?

Who photoshopped MaryFrances Causey onto a giant cock? Hoge? He just can’t help himself!

Who sent the deathbed photo of your wife to Scott Hinkley’s wife’s business?  Grady? Well we know he’s dumb!

Who published Lee Stranahan’s home address in the apophasic context of “Gee, wink-wink, I sure hope, nudge-nudge, that nobody goes over there and rapes his wife while he’s outta town ‘cuz that sure would be terrible, tee-hee-hee!” Scott Hinckley? He sure is obsessed!

Who called Sarah Palmer’s estranged husband?

Because families are off limits, right?

Please, DUMBFUCK.  Please…this is the ONLY TIME I WILL EVER SINCERELY BEG FOR ANYTHING FROM YOU…please don’t consider the idea that the retribution that has been rolling down on you all of your life is closer than you could possibly imagine.

Please.  Keep the scooty-puff (It’s red. Vroom, VROOM!) pointed exactly where it’s going.  Don’t let anyone convince you that you don’t have the upper hand, because you absolutely do.

Please.  Stay the course.

Here there be LULZ.



Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

JEEBUS CRIPES, YERONNER!! @hotcheeseshot “JezuzCripes, Yeronner, these non-parties are threatening not to do the same stuff THAT I ACTUALLY DO TO THEM! Make them quit not harassin’ me!”


Oh, Boy!  REBRANDING In Progress!

I can’t wait to see the beautiful butterfly that emerges this time!

How do you think DUMBFUCK will rework his web presence?  I think we will see

  • A brand-new podcast with old, crappy music in the public domain;
  • Tone deaf social satire with no connection to anything going on in society today;
  • A new website that won’t focus on Lickspittles or Zombies because that is no longer important (for about two days, maybe three);
  • New and improved references to all things alimentary;
  • Racism, sexism, homophobia and religious bigotry;
  • Helpful tips on how to be a stupid old widower with Parkinson’s disease, zero friends, and crispy fingertips from perpetually touching hot stoves;
  • Scooter maintenance tales;
  • The joys of Peapod membership;
  • How to spot the creepy liar in the mirror;
  • Spaetzle recipes; and
  • Witty repartee with the voices in your head.

How do you think his transformation will turn out?


Audience Q & A

Last night this comment popped up in moderation:  

No, really!

But it’s a good question, especially when taken, as all such questions must be, in context.

The answer is “as many as it takes to get the job done, you DUMBFUCK.”

But to put it another way, by my comparative count, I am still trailing a DUMBFUCK INTERNET EMPRESARIO by approximately 80 total domains. 

I could ask the same question: “How many fucking websites do you need, DUMBFUCK?” But I already know the answer.

We ALL know the answer to that question.


As If More Proof Is Needed

Several days ago I noted that Bill Schmalfeldt is a DUMBFUCK liar.  He podcasted that he once wrote a bit of “creative fiction” about the WJJ Hoge family that he took down something like an hour later.  Now, we know he’s a liar, he knows he’s a liar, but while I was looking for the context of his “Be proud of the filth in your head” tweet, I found a little extra proof that Bill Schmalfeldt also lies to himself.

Read from the bottom to the top, y’all, and pay particular attention to the third tweet from the bottom.  Even more particularly look at the final sentence of that tweet:

On April 15, 2015, “So I took it down A DAY OR SO LATER.

But on February 2, he took it down just a little bit more than an hour after posting it.  I suppose by Memorial Day that post will only have been up for an hour.  By July 4th it will be 10 minutes, and by Labor Day it will be entirely a figment of his imagination that never existed and I turned it around on him for no reason at all because it never happened in the first place.

All the time. ALL. THE. TIME.


Truth Now For LULZ Later

A time will come, sooner or later, when LULZSUIT VI – The Undiscovered Krendler sputters to the same ignominious end as all such lawsuits filed by this plaintiff do.

He will say there is no justice for a poor, disabled, recently widowed, defenseless Parkinson’s patient who is bullied.  He will be wrong.

He will say that Wisconsin red state right-wingers conspired against him.  He will be wrong.

He will say the defendants lied.  He will be wrong.

He will say he’s tired of the fight, that he’s just a sad old man who no longer has the will to stand up and defend himself against the withering attacks on his sandy vagina.  That will be a lie.

He’s going to lose, and he is the only one who doesn’t yet know it.  But it won’t be because he is a poor, disabled, recently widowed, defenseless, Parkinson’s- suffering victim of bullying.  It won’t be because Republican judges in Wisconsin conspired against him.  It won’t be because the defendants told better, more convincing and more easily debunked lies than he does.  It won’t be because he’s a tired old man with a leaky vagoo.

He’s going to lose for the same reason he has lost every other lawsuit he has filed.

He’s going to lose because he’s an idiot.  That’s all.


Is Sarah Palmer Stalking A DUMBFUCK?

There’s only one way for a DUMBFUCK to be sure, and that’s to sneak up and look in her windows with binoculars.