Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

And weren’t you up into the wee hours howling at the unfairness of it all?!?
image Oh, I’m sorry…I think I must have forgotten to mention the poisoned, barbed corkscrew.image Yeah, you really want to get an idiot like that disqualified and replaced with a competent cutthroat attorney who will yank your heart out of your chest and use it parboil his bratwurst.  Good call, DUMBFUCK.  Especially since you, me and the whole world know you don’t have a snowball’s chance in Hell of getting it done anyway, and the Worst Lawyer in the World is giving you the legal beatdown of your about-to-end pro se career.
image Yup, poor little Sarah Palmer, YET ANOTHER weak little icky, female type GIRL who has kicked your pathetic ass around a courtroom.
image What a damn shame you weren’t there to contradict her at the appropriate time set by the court to do so.  You really woulda showed her, right?image Dude – what happened?  You had a nice shouty flow working there with your ALL CAPS style, and that lower case ‘t’ slipped in and ruined the whole thing!

I deduct 10 style points.image Now that’s better!  You have to make sure the CAPS LOCK stays LOCKED if you want that hateflow to really stand out.image And speaking of “LIAR! PERJURER!” you don’t even remember what it is you’re lying about right here, do you?  Of course you don’t.

Because you’re a DUMBFUCK.
image But you do threaten people, DUMBFUCK. And there are photos of YOU on the Internet – posted by YOU – pointing what looks like a loaded weapon through the paper thin walls of your former showplace tincasa at GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT on the other side of that wall. Your finger was ON THE TRIGGER.

Aren’t you the guy who took a photo of WJJ Hoge IV cleaning a disassembled pistol and stoked it up into a DEATH THREAT!1!1ELEVENTY!11!!?

And you seem just about as clinically insane as it is possible to get.

What is an ordinary, reasonable, sane person supposed to conclude?

Oh, wait…how would you know?

image Just because they never picked up the phone?  Weak.image Yes.  You did.  Are you trying to claim that placing before the public the medical details of a third party is somehow a fair, ethical and reasonable act, especially when it is in violation of a valid, documented cease and desist order?

And if so, why does it so upset you that Aaron Walker placed in evidence before the court YOUR OWN CONFESSION that you are indeed demented?

Rules for thee but not for me?

Sorry, but Bill Schmalfeldt’s Accurate Reflection don’t play that game.
image Yes, that’s exactly what you did, oh great unemployable GS-13 writer editor.  Can you say “probable provable admission against interest?”

I knew that you could.
image Ask your attorney Johnnie Walker, Esq. to explain the First Amendment to you, in really small words.  Then, Shut off the Internet and go home, DUMBFUCK.  You’re drunk.image That may be true, but grouped among stupid women you HAVE met, poor stupid Sarah Palmer would rank no higher than fourth.

You have been married three times, if I’m not mistaken?
image

AND THERE IT IS!!  THE FIRST CHINK IN THE ARMOR APPEARS, JUST AS IT ALWAYS DOES.

“We’ll see how the lawsuit goes.”

DUMBFUCK to English translation: “Oh my God, when did that giant brick wall jump out in front the Scooty Puff of DOOM (It’s red. Vroom! VROOM!!)?

That’s right, DUMBFUCK! Your pathetic lawsuit is doomed.  As predicted on the day you filed it, fatal flaws exposed, its very lifeblood rushing away in torrents from the cuts opened by The Worst Lawyer in the World.

Theres nothing you can do to save it. You know it. I know it. SuperParaLegal John Hoge knows it. Sarah Palmer knows it. Eric Johnson knows it. Brett Kimberlin knows it.

This was an outstanding little rage-and-alcohol fueled Feldtdown.  Thank you so much!

You are an idiot, and your own actions expose you.

We are merely bystanders, here to point and laugh at the spectacle that you, in your infinite ignorance and hubris, continue to provide and refuse to acknowledge.

And the FUN continues…

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ECF 24 – Motion to Supplement on PACER

There’s also a Motion for Summary Judgment, which seems a little premature, but then I hear that’s always been a problem for DUMBFUCK…

There may be a few…uh…transcription errors! Yeah!  in this version of the pleading.

Whoops.

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Ladies and Gentlemen

I give you the definitive example of the weeping vagina:

Capture

Schmalfeldt, you are the biggest fucking pussy in the entire universe.  I’m surprised you haven’t turned inside out and swallowed yourself by now.

The way you regard John Hoge, “paralegal” is the way the rest of the world regards Bill Schmalfeldt, “decent member of humanity.”

You need a punch in the throat more than anyone who has ever lived.

And before you finish your nightly bottle of Johnnie Walker and pass out in front of the toilet again tonight, the post will have more comments and likes than your entire blog.

Go beg some of your friends to come visit, you infected buttpimple.

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

 
Seriously. After what you and your excellent but loosely connected (between the ears) friends did to him, tell me what right or expectation you have to know who employs Aaron Walker?

And keep in mind, whatever right you invoke to justify your obvious desire to contact Aaron Walker’s current employers to share whatever you believe to be his past misdeeds, I have the same right to contact Cardinal Management for the exact same purpose in your regard.

If you tell me why you deserve the answer you seek (I know you won’t, you gutless worm turd), I will be sure to share your reasoning with the lovely and talented Cindy when you force me to call her.

Don’t like it?  Sue me.

Oh. Wait… 

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OK Folks…Get To Stretching!

Capture

WHOOMP!  There it is!

There are new LULZ on PACER from the Dreadful pro se Schmalfeldt.

REMEMBER:  no whining allowed.  Only Pointage, Laughery and Mockification.  Preferably it should be CLEARLY MARKED AS SUCH so as not to confuse the poor pro se monkey.  For instance, what follows here is Mockification.

 Today we have ECF 21 – REPLY TO DEFENDANT’S JOINT OPPOSITION TO THE PLAINTIFF’S MOTION TO DISQUALIFY COUNSEL (DOCKET #19) AND MOTION TO STRIKE THE SAME.

The big fun happens at paragraph 26:

26.  Statements made about Kimberlin in Walker’s Opposition, paragraphs 26-32, and seven of the exhibits attached to Walker’s opposition are not germane to this case and by right should be ignored by the Court.

27.  Statements made about Kimberlin in Walker’s Opposition, paragraphs 26-32, and seven of the exhibits attached to Walker’s opposition are not germane to this case and by right should be ignored by the Court.

28.  Statements made about Kimberlin in the Johnnie Walker Red Opposition, paragraphs 26-32, and seven empty fifths in the Plaintiff’s kitchen wastebasket are not true German Dirty Schnitzel by right should be imbibed by the Court.

29.  Statements made about Jack Daniels being a dull boy because all he does is work at repeating paragraphs 26-32, and the Plaintiff’s creepy attachment to Kimberlin’s backside like a remora on a shark have nothing to do with elephants and are thus irrelephant to this case and by left should be ignored by the Court because if four repetitions of the same paragraph haven’t convinced the Court that I am a Dreadful Pro Se and the rules and procedures of this Court frighten and confuse me, maybe five will. Is anyone else getting a pro bono right now?

30.  All plays are dull and Jack has to work its way into paragraphs 26-32, and I’m not playing around, boy!

31.  All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

32.  All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

UPDATE – Judge Joseph has reacted to the latest filings by the Dreadful pro se:

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

https://twitter.com/hotcheeseshot/status/702737411420393472  
…here’s another interesting fact! Cheddar Injection aka @hotcheeseshot aka DUMBFUCK [sarc on] is totally not a demented cyberstalker [sarc off] willing to dox his own process servers, friends and family members to serve his selfish interests.

Is it true that if you plug Imawoowoo Dryskinso (or whatever) into the Swahili to English Translator it comes back with “See? See!? I DO have a pesky darkie for a friend!”

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Some Things Do Require A Response

You know, I could do an epic takedown on DUMBFUCK’S entire post from this morning, but I’m a little busy right now.

I could say, yes, it’s fine that it acknowledges wrongdoing against MaryFrances Causey by photoshopping her onto a giant cock.  Shop1

And I could also say good for a DUMBFUCK for apologizing.  Except I have a feeling that DUMBFUCK remembers that apology about as accurately as it remembers its wife dying in its arms while it was glued to the internet battling evildoers and deleting comments, which is after all much more important.  Unfortunately I have too much to do right now.

I could also point out that the photo that DUMBFUCK sent to Scott Hinckley’s wife’s business email address where it was probably seen by six to ten people, none of whom at ever met or even heard of DUMBFUCK prior to that day, before being forwarded to God only knows whom, was an EXTRAORDINARILY STUPID THING TO DO.  But I’ve done that previously, so why bother?  I might also ask of a DUMBFUCK who says “but Mrs. Hinckley seemed like a nice lady who would understand,” HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW?  I could just as easily say that DUMBFUCK’S late wife seemed like an enabler for a narcissistic sociopath with an inferiority complex and deep-seated Oedipal issues, but HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW?  I would never say that.

I could suggest to a DUMBFUCK that now that its wife has passed away, it should just drop the pretense of having some noble motive for its abnormal attentions toward the Stranahan family.  I would tell it that there is not a single person on Earth who believes a word DUMBFUCK says about it.  There is only DUMBFUCK who believes, and I don’t think anyone would classify it as a human being, so we can’t count that. But like I said.  Too busy.

Me?  My motives are not noble.  I have never pretended they are.  I would not tell anyone they are.  My motives are exactly the same as DUMBFUCK’s motives, pointed in the opposite direction.  What was it he said?  “If I have hurt anyone unintentionally, my apologies. If I meant to hurt you, I hope it hurts like a mother fucker. Yes.”

But this:

Pontificator Post_4

Oh, really?

I don’t think DUMBFUCK wants to stand by that.  In fact, I am 100% sure it will soon be scrambling for a rationalization for that FUCKING BALDFACED LIE.

If you are not a fan of his voice, skip the audio and go direct to the transcript.  I have helpfully omitted all of the annoying verbal tics and crutches that so destroy his otherwise mellifluous baritone.  /sarcasm

Hi, this is a call for Michael William Palmer.  My name is Bill Schmalfeldt, I‘m calling from St. Francis, Wisconsin.  Interesting that you’ve still got Sarah on your answering machine there.  The reason I’m calling is, I need a bit of information.  Sarah Palmer is one of the people harassing me.  And I need to verify some information about her.  I’m not trying to get anybody in trouble, I‘m just trying to get the harassment to stop.  I see where she’s living in Reidsville, North Carolina now, she has three different personae, as Ashtera, as Sheeple Rage and now she’s a Dread Pirate Zombie or one thing or another.  She’s still a member of the SCA, only now it’s in the Atlantia Kingdom.  If you could give me a call back, sir, my phone number is 414-249-43xx.  And this’ll be the only time I bother you, if you’d rather not get involved in any of this I understand, but I’m just trying to get to the bottom of who this is that is harassing me.  Thank you very much.  Bye-bye.

So, you DUMBFUCK MONKEY:  While you’re doing this:

and trying to UNFUCK YOURSELF by finding some bullshit website that will reproduce that transcript WITH ALL THE VERBAL CRUTCHES…

…keep in mind I have the other message too.

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

 
I know, right?

Who photoshopped MaryFrances Causey onto a giant cock? Hoge? He just can’t help himself!

Who sent the deathbed photo of your wife to Scott Hinkley’s wife’s business?  Grady? Well we know he’s dumb!

Who published Lee Stranahan’s home address in the apophasic context of “Gee, wink-wink, I sure hope, nudge-nudge, that nobody goes over there and rapes his wife while he’s outta town ‘cuz that sure would be terrible, tee-hee-hee!” Scott Hinckley? He sure is obsessed!

Who called Sarah Palmer’s estranged husband?

Because families are off limits, right?

Please, DUMBFUCK.  Please…this is the ONLY TIME I WILL EVER SINCERELY BEG FOR ANYTHING FROM YOU…please don’t consider the idea that the retribution that has been rolling down on you all of your life is closer than you could possibly imagine.

Please.  Keep the scooty-puff (It’s red. Vroom, VROOM!) pointed exactly where it’s going.  Don’t let anyone convince you that you don’t have the upper hand, because you absolutely do.

Please.  Stay the course.

Here there be LULZ.

  

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