Let’s Fisk Again, Like We Did Last Summer

STUPID Lying Motherfucker Bill Schmalfeldt left a comment at the Artisan Craft Blog yesterday which is deserving of some special attention…

You obviously do not have a copy of the first e-mail I sent to Ms. Hinckley. I, however, do.

Hey, what a coincidence! So do I! Although the copy I was provided had the images redacted, because most people (present company excluded) had more respect for your wife’s dignity than you did.

The one where I wrote, “As your husband was one of the people suggesting my wife’s death was a scam I was trying to pull on people, I feel you deserve to see this picture. If it gets published anywhere, I will know who did it as it hasn’t been published anywhere else.” A normal person would read that as an instruction to NOT publish the picture. But look at who spread the picture around…

No, a normal person would read that as the weak roar of a toothless lion who already knows that once he presses the SEND button, that picture is gonna get published, and that lion is not interested in PREVENTING its publication but is in fact ACTIVELY FACILITATING IT. And in telegraphing that he knows there is absolutely nothing he can do to stop it, and nothing he can do to anyone (like me) who chooses to publish it.

Oh, wait… the COPS sent it to Grady!
No, it was the authorities in Carroll County! THOSE bastards sent the photo to Grady.

Wrong and wrong.  No one sent it to Grady.

Someone sent it to me. The email said Mort in Maryland. I think that name might have been fake.

Grady was the first one to publish it.

Wrong again.

Now, because karma, Grady no longer has a wife.

Oh, please…please expand on the unique knowledge that you have of Grady’s divorce, all while trying to explain how HE’S STALKING YOU, YOU STUPID LYING MOTHERFUCKER.

The only difference? Mine did not choose to leave me.

Janina and Janice would like a word.

Shame on you all.

Your game, your rules.  You first.

 

Like(10)Dislike(0)

Amazing, Innit?

What a fucking ghost town this place turns into when DUMBFUCK isn’t constantly doing stupid shit on the internet.

You’d think there would be a lesson that an unemployed transient could learn from this about the path of least resistance to being left alone…

Sadly, no.

Like(7)Dislike(0)

Very Helpful to the Defense

…when the plaintiff is a slobbering transient sack of grease who makes Forrest Gump look like Albert Einstein by comparison.

Like(10)Dislike(0)

It’s Probably Ass Cancer This Time

Or meth…or the liquid diet…

We can hope, anyway…

Like(8)Dislike(0)

Regrets, He’s Had a Few

Regrets? You mean he’s not showing up Friday?

Gee, I wonder what’s happened since Saturday?

Is Badass Bill once more hiking up his skirts? Sure seems like it!

Will the hills of South Carolina come alive with the sickly tang of Brave Sir William’s river of fear pee? I think they will!

All is proceeding as I have foreseen, and even if he is only pretending and actually does the smart thing and shows up in Greensboro. I PREDICT:

  1. He will shoot himself in the foot merely by showing up; and
  2. He will forget (or ignore, depending on perspective) an opportunity to do something reasonably smart for himself.

In any case, no matter what he does Friday, he loses. Because of course, DUMBFUCK.

Dance, Monkey! DAAAAAAAAANCE!!

Like(12)Dislike(0)

ALL 4 QUARTERS??

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

That’s fucking rich, coming from the guy who’s never made it past the first possession, to continue the stupid metaphor. Meanwhile…

 

Like(7)Dislike(0)

Cyberstalking- A Handy How-to Transcript!

Clerk: [inaudible] Department.

BS: Hi there, My name is William Schmalfeldt, and I’m calling about a civil no contact order that was taken out against me in January 2016.

[crosstalk]

BS:Uh, the file number is 15CVD2054.

Clerk: Okay

BS: And what I’d like to know is, uh, the plaintiff gave her address as 501 Redd St in Re-Reidsville, uhhh…NC. Now the application for the 50C says you can give an alternative address. Uh, but, but it also says did the, uh – let me see, call it up here so I can quote it exactly…hang on her just a sec…yeah, uh, under “Note to Plaintiff<” uh, line one, which box did she check?

Clerk: Uh, which, under the complaint? Or –

BS: Uh, the application. In the 50C application.

Clerk: Okay, which form?

BS: Uh, hang on just a second. I can-

Clerk: Because you got a copy of the form.

BS: I’m looking, I’m looking, I’m looking at it right now. Hang on. It is form number AOC-CV-520.

Clerk: Okay, you got a copy of everything, um, that she filled out.

BS: Well I no longer have it, and I just really have one question.

Clerk: Okay , and you’re wanting to know which-

BS: Which box she checked under line one.

Clerk: Hold on.

[hold music]

BS: Hello?

Clerk:  Hello?

BS: Yes.

Clerk: Okay, um, you wanted to know which line she che-, on one, which line she checked?

BS: Yes.

Clerk: She checked “the plaintiff resides.”

BS: She – okay, and if the plaintiff did not reside in Rockingham County when she filled that out, is that something I should discuss with your local sheriff?

Clerk: Hmm, you can talk to a lawyer.

BS: All right, well, we’ll do that. Thank you very-

Clerk: All right, Bye-bye.

BS: But, but, but she definitely checked “the plaintiff resides” in this-

Clerk: Well, you should have a copy, if you’d like me to mail you a copy-

BS:Well, yeah, but I-I-I-I moved, uh, and uh, didn’t see any reason to keep this, because I thought she still lived in Rockingham County until yesterday. Now I find out that she moved in November ’15 to, uh, Greensboro, but still filed this suit, uh, this uh-uh-uh, restraining order in January 2016 claiming she lived in Rockingham County when she lived in Guilford County.*

Clerk: Uh, well, if you’d like a copy we can mail you a copy of it.

BS: Would you do that? Let me give you my address.

Clerk: Okay, what is the address?

BS: It’s uh, 220 [deleted]

Clerk: Okay. We’ll get it out to you.

BS: I do appreciate that, thank you very much.

Clerk: Uh-huh.

BS: Bye-bye.

Clerk: Uh-huh. Bye-bye.

*This is the part where the lies are absolutely unmistakable.  If you have the stomach for it, go listen to it eight or nine times. There’s no way he’s telling the truth here.  Also, it’s where he practically admits stalking.  “I thought she lived HERE until yesterday, and I have vowed not to eat, sleep, use the bathroom or speak to the Inflataskank until I find out her current address and get her arrested for relocating without telling me. But I’m totally not a stalker or anything.” Or words to that effect.

On an unrelated note: Did you know that the US Marshals have been finding people and serving process on them for literally decades without even the smallest bit of help from Bill Schmalfeldt?  It boggles the mind to consider how they have managed without him.

Oh, look! Anna Kendrick! How nice.
Like(8)Dislike(0)

Good Evening, DUMBFUCK!

Maybe try posting the picture again, DUMBFUCK – see if anybody bites. Third time’s the charm, right?

Like(8)Dislike(0)

Ask A Stupid Question…

Let us consider an almost hypothetical circumstance, with the following assumptions:

  1. I am a disabled American;
  2. I have been ordered to appear in a Maryland state court today to show cause why I should not be held in contempt of court;
  3. The precise details surrounding the need for this hearing are not relevant to this exercise;
  4. I have in the past been allowed to attend hearings in this jurisdiction via Skype;
  5. For some baffling reason that I cannot understand, the judge has not granted permission for me to appear via Skype for today’s hearing;
  6. Earlier this month, I filed a motion asking for this hearing to be canceled or for my travel and lodging costs to be reimbursed by a third party;
  7. The judge has not ruled on this motion;
  8. I am very inconvenienced by the judge’s failure to kowtow to my capricious wants…obviously he does not know how important and disabled I am;
  9. The judge’s petulance is obviously a violation of my civil rights as a disabled American;
  10. Therefore, I am going to sue this judge and the state of Maryland for a) being mean to me, b) for hurting my butt, and c) for ordering me to come to Maryland when it isn’t even freezing and I can’t slip and fall on the ice and die and blame HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!!…it’s got to work eventually.

Which brings me to my stupid question:

If I’m going to sue a Maryland judge, and the state of Maryland for violating my constitutional right not to peel myself out of this chair and go to court when ordered by a judge…

…WHERE WOULD BE THE PROPER VENUE TO FILE SUCH A LAWSUIT?

Like(5)Dislike(0)