Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

It seems (now there’s a rhetorical crutch for ya!) that The Truth Tribune has vanished again in cloud of REBRANDING! How queer (rhetorical crutch redux).

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I Don’t Know DUMBFUCK Well Enough To Call Him “Stupid”

I only know that when presented with an opportunity to LOOK stupid, he never fails to make the very most of it.

But that doesn’t make him stupid.

There are plenty of other reasons for that.

Like another round of deletions from his blog, for instance.

Still nothing gone here…

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Keep Feeding That Wolf, DUMBFUCK!

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The more you feed him, the hungrier he gets, amirite?

And since I missed on Wednesday:

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

You are less than the sweat dripping from a stinking skunk vagina. And anyone who tells you that publishing a man’s home address and suggesting that his wife should be raped while he is out of town was humorous is also less than the sweat dripping off a stinking skunk vagina.

Only someone who is less than the sweat dripping off a stinking skunk vagina would take a heart-felt personal moment, shared with people who love him, a death in childbirth, and turn it into an online spectacle. Do you think I’m the person you should be lecturing about karmic payback, DUMBFUCK?

Have you checked a mirror lately?

Thank you for letting the world know when, where and how someone close to you became sick and died, so we can help you remember every word you wrote, every picture you photoshopped, every meme you created, every profane thing you have ever done to cause people more pain over the death of an innocent baby. I’m so glad that you can’t shut your piehole about your wife and just let her rest in peace. It’s so wonderful that we get to share in every lurid, dignity-stripping detail of the suffering that you spewed across the Internet.

You Germans have a lovely word: Schadenfreude.

Your pain is delicious. What really provides the garnish, however, what really makes me savor it, is that added sprinkle of each time you have tried and failed to manufacture pain in others for your own satisfaction. As if it will somehow salve the physical, mental and emotional brokenness that you drag behind you like Jacob Marley’s chains (yes, I know it’s April…bite me). Your lifelong legacy of failure makes me smile.

I’m sure THE LAW is hard at work determining the provenance of whatever bullshit you’ve dreamed up this time, DUMBFUCK, in between doughnuts and coffee and investigating real crime. I could tell you what’s to be done, but you wouldn’t believe me. I guess you’ll just have to be surprised when you try the same stupidity and get the same result, Einstein. There’s nothing I can do to you that would be as painful and punishing as you deserve, DUMBFUCK.

The only reason you have two ex-wives who regret knowing you is because the third one died first. All your children have abandoned you. Your sister is ashamed of you and only speaks to you because of Catholic guilt. Even your Amazon Vagina Warrior Princesses no longer defend you, and they all dread the day you get yourself tossed out of your apartment and come begging for a place to stay.

And you did it all to yourself. You had the power to stop in the palm of your hand. And now the karmic payback is rising around you like sewage from a flooded storm drain. I do hope you are enjoying the rich reward you have earned.

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OHNOES!!! EVERYBODY SURRENDER!!

So if Judge Joseph has ordered this:

03-31- Order

And I have made special note that it fully replaces the original complaint…

What then should be made by the defense counsel of this (other than many, many billable hours)?

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That, my friends, is MASTERFUL LEGAL ARGUMENT SHOWING PROPER JURISDICTION AND VENUE BY POINTING TO A COMPLAINT WHICH NOW, BEFORE THE EYES OF THE COURT, DOES NOT EXIST.

And then there is the next sentence of the Order:

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“Schmalfeldt is nonetheless required to comply with the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure and the Local rules.  Going forward, I expect him to adhere to any relevant rules.”

I wonder if that includes not suing for [REDACTED – DON’T EDUCATE THE MONKEY. – PK]? Nah, that’s probably not going to be a problem at all.

But keep cranking out those hours, Aaron!  You too, SuperParalegal John Hoge!

This is a big win for Bill Schmalfeldt, and you really have your work cut out for you!

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Well, Think About It In Geological Time Scales

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About as long as it takes for a a pebble to fall from the lip of the Grand Canyon to the bottom.

On the other hand, how long will it take to backtrace that photo to me?

The Earth will burn to a cinder first.

Please, feel free to hold your breath.

It’s a lot of fun watching other people make you dance!

You have no idea the number and quality of the netizens whom you have pissed off in your cyber-travels, Gulliver.

And you want to know something even funnier?

Neither do I!

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Seeking the Wisdom of Hordes

Is there anyone here who can credibly explain what Patrick Grady or I have to fear from a cowardly fuck like Bill Schmalfeldt?  Is he going to sue Grady? This super pro se who has never filed a lawsuit sufficient to survive a motion to dismiss? Is he going to try to take an internet pissing match – to which he brought only fear pee – into the real world, where the swollen prostate he got in the navy guarantees nothing more than ineffectual dribbling into his bacon-stripped tighty whities?

I’m not saying a lawsuit filed by DUMBFUCK should be taken lightly, even though the LULZ will be as plentiful as ever.  I’m saying that it should be taken seriously.  And as has been the case with every other suit he has been a party to, he should be beaten down…SERIOUSLY.

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Several Things, Offhand…

  1. “Well, the first thing you should know is, we have people…everywhere.”
  2. “Um…’Yawn?'”
  3. “Coffee is the highlight of the day so far.”
  4. “You’re a DUMBFUCK. But this isn’t news to anyone. Least of all the St. Francis Police Department.”
  5. “Thanks for the OUTSTANDING Monkeydancing yesterday. Truly spectacular! You really brought your A-game.”
  6. “I shudder to think how much material you’d have saved if you were really the stalker that NINE RESTRAINING ORDERS IN FIVE STATES say you are.”
  7. “Looks like today is going to be a beautiful day. Maybe some lucky local member of the Horde will happen to see you taking a rolly stroll this afternoon. You just never know, do you?”
  8. “The intimacy of your knowledge of the priorities and inner workings of law enforcement processes is truly mind-boggling.”
  9. “But not in the way you think it is.”
  10. “Seriously – if it worked the way you say, you’d be the – well, that would be telling, wouldn’t it?”
  11. “You might need a caliper to measure your balls…I use a wheelbarrow just to tote mine around.”
  12. “A really BIG wheelbarrow.”

Anything else you wanna hear, DUMBFUCK?

Anything else to add, Horde ?

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Start Just Above Your Eyebrows, DUMBFUCK!


May I suggest one of these?

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h/t – Grace, The Jewel in the Crown

 

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Oh, Well, I Guess That Explains It As Well As A DUMBFUCK Could


BEING a child pornographer isn’t a crime…but calling Bill Schmalfeldt, child pornographer, a child pornographer is?

I suppose that makes sense…if you’re a DUMBFUCK.

I’ll just have to be satisfied with saying

BILL SCHMALFELDT IS A CYBERSTALKER, WHICH IS A CRIME.

And

BILL SCHMALFELDT IS A CYBERHARASSER, WHICH IS A CRIME.

And 

BILL SCHMALFELDT IS A TODDLERSTALKER. WHICH IS A CRIME.

So you see it would seem that saying 

BILL SCHMALFELDT IS A CHILD PORNOGRAPHER, WHICH IS FUCKING DISGUSTING EVEN IF IT IS NOT NECESSARILY A CRIME.

is among the least of your worries, huh?

But when I call Cindy, whose number you have already so helpfully provided, idiot, it won’t matter if I tell them you are something that’s criminal, such as a documented stalker of children, or something that’s not, like a child pornographer.

Maybe I will EMBRACE THE POWER OF ‘AND!’

I loves me some burner phone!

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