Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

 
Seriously. After what you and your excellent but loosely connected (between the ears) friends did to him, tell me what right or expectation you have to know who employs Aaron Walker?

And keep in mind, whatever right you invoke to justify your obvious desire to contact Aaron Walker’s current employers to share whatever you believe to be his past misdeeds, I have the same right to contact Cardinal Management for the exact same purpose in your regard.

If you tell me why you deserve the answer you seek (I know you won’t, you gutless worm turd), I will be sure to share your reasoning with the lovely and talented Cindy when you force me to call her.

Don’t like it?  Sue me.

Oh. Wait… 

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OK Folks…Get To Stretching!

Capture

WHOOMP!  There it is!

There are new LULZ on PACER from the Dreadful pro se Schmalfeldt.

REMEMBER:  no whining allowed.  Only Pointage, Laughery and Mockification.  Preferably it should be CLEARLY MARKED AS SUCH so as not to confuse the poor pro se monkey.  For instance, what follows here is Mockification.

 Today we have ECF 21 – REPLY TO DEFENDANT’S JOINT OPPOSITION TO THE PLAINTIFF’S MOTION TO DISQUALIFY COUNSEL (DOCKET #19) AND MOTION TO STRIKE THE SAME.

The big fun happens at paragraph 26:

26.  Statements made about Kimberlin in Walker’s Opposition, paragraphs 26-32, and seven of the exhibits attached to Walker’s opposition are not germane to this case and by right should be ignored by the Court.

27.  Statements made about Kimberlin in Walker’s Opposition, paragraphs 26-32, and seven of the exhibits attached to Walker’s opposition are not germane to this case and by right should be ignored by the Court.

28.  Statements made about Kimberlin in the Johnnie Walker Red Opposition, paragraphs 26-32, and seven empty fifths in the Plaintiff’s kitchen wastebasket are not true German Dirty Schnitzel by right should be imbibed by the Court.

29.  Statements made about Jack Daniels being a dull boy because all he does is work at repeating paragraphs 26-32, and the Plaintiff’s creepy attachment to Kimberlin’s backside like a remora on a shark have nothing to do with elephants and are thus irrelephant to this case and by left should be ignored by the Court because if four repetitions of the same paragraph haven’t convinced the Court that I am a Dreadful Pro Se and the rules and procedures of this Court frighten and confuse me, maybe five will. Is anyone else getting a pro bono right now?

30.  All plays are dull and Jack has to work its way into paragraphs 26-32, and I’m not playing around, boy!

31.  All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

32.  All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

UPDATE – Judge Joseph has reacted to the latest filings by the Dreadful pro se:

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

https://twitter.com/hotcheeseshot/status/702737411420393472  
…here’s another interesting fact! Cheddar Injection aka @hotcheeseshot aka DUMBFUCK [sarc on] is totally not a demented cyberstalker [sarc off] willing to dox his own process servers, friends and family members to serve his selfish interests.

Is it true that if you plug Imawoowoo Dryskinso (or whatever) into the Swahili to English Translator it comes back with “See? See!? I DO have a pesky darkie for a friend!”

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Some Things Do Require A Response

You know, I could do an epic takedown on DUMBFUCK’S entire post from this morning, but I’m a little busy right now.

I could say, yes, it’s fine that it acknowledges wrongdoing against MaryFrances Causey by photoshopping her onto a giant cock.  Shop1

And I could also say good for a DUMBFUCK for apologizing.  Except I have a feeling that DUMBFUCK remembers that apology about as accurately as it remembers its wife dying in its arms while it was glued to the internet battling evildoers and deleting comments, which is after all much more important.  Unfortunately I have too much to do right now.

I could also point out that the photo that DUMBFUCK sent to Scott Hinckley’s wife’s business email address where it was probably seen by six to ten people, none of whom at ever met or even heard of DUMBFUCK prior to that day, before being forwarded to God only knows whom, was an EXTRAORDINARILY STUPID THING TO DO.  But I’ve done that previously, so why bother?  I might also ask of a DUMBFUCK who says “but Mrs. Hinckley seemed like a nice lady who would understand,” HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW?  I could just as easily say that DUMBFUCK’S late wife seemed like an enabler for a narcissistic sociopath with an inferiority complex and deep-seated Oedipal issues, but HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW?  I would never say that.

I could suggest to a DUMBFUCK that now that its wife has passed away, it should just drop the pretense of having some noble motive for its abnormal attentions toward the Stranahan family.  I would tell it that there is not a single person on Earth who believes a word DUMBFUCK says about it.  There is only DUMBFUCK who believes, and I don’t think anyone would classify it as a human being, so we can’t count that. But like I said.  Too busy.

Me?  My motives are not noble.  I have never pretended they are.  I would not tell anyone they are.  My motives are exactly the same as DUMBFUCK’s motives, pointed in the opposite direction.  What was it he said?  “If I have hurt anyone unintentionally, my apologies. If I meant to hurt you, I hope it hurts like a mother fucker. Yes.”

But this:

Pontificator Post_4

Oh, really?

I don’t think DUMBFUCK wants to stand by that.  In fact, I am 100% sure it will soon be scrambling for a rationalization for that FUCKING BALDFACED LIE.

If you are not a fan of his voice, skip the audio and go direct to the transcript.  I have helpfully omitted all of the annoying verbal tics and crutches that so destroy his otherwise mellifluous baritone.  /sarcasm

Hi, this is a call for Michael William Palmer.  My name is Bill Schmalfeldt, I‘m calling from St. Francis, Wisconsin.  Interesting that you’ve still got Sarah on your answering machine there.  The reason I’m calling is, I need a bit of information.  Sarah Palmer is one of the people harassing me.  And I need to verify some information about her.  I’m not trying to get anybody in trouble, I‘m just trying to get the harassment to stop.  I see where she’s living in Reidsville, North Carolina now, she has three different personae, as Ashtera, as Sheeple Rage and now she’s a Dread Pirate Zombie or one thing or another.  She’s still a member of the SCA, only now it’s in the Atlantia Kingdom.  If you could give me a call back, sir, my phone number is 414-249-43xx.  And this’ll be the only time I bother you, if you’d rather not get involved in any of this I understand, but I’m just trying to get to the bottom of who this is that is harassing me.  Thank you very much.  Bye-bye.

So, you DUMBFUCK MONKEY:  While you’re doing this:

and trying to UNFUCK YOURSELF by finding some bullshit website that will reproduce that transcript WITH ALL THE VERBAL CRUTCHES…

…keep in mind I have the other message too.

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

 
I know, right?

Who photoshopped MaryFrances Causey onto a giant cock? Hoge? He just can’t help himself!

Who sent the deathbed photo of your wife to Scott Hinkley’s wife’s business?  Grady? Well we know he’s dumb!

Who published Lee Stranahan’s home address in the apophasic context of “Gee, wink-wink, I sure hope, nudge-nudge, that nobody goes over there and rapes his wife while he’s outta town ‘cuz that sure would be terrible, tee-hee-hee!” Scott Hinckley? He sure is obsessed!

Who called Sarah Palmer’s estranged husband?

Because families are off limits, right?

Please, DUMBFUCK.  Please…this is the ONLY TIME I WILL EVER SINCERELY BEG FOR ANYTHING FROM YOU…please don’t consider the idea that the retribution that has been rolling down on you all of your life is closer than you could possibly imagine.

Please.  Keep the scooty-puff (It’s red. Vroom, VROOM!) pointed exactly where it’s going.  Don’t let anyone convince you that you don’t have the upper hand, because you absolutely do.

Please.  Stay the course.

Here there be LULZ.

  

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

 
JEEBUS CRIPES, YERONNER!! @hotcheeseshot “JezuzCripes, Yeronner, these non-parties are threatening not to do the same stuff THAT I ACTUALLY DO TO THEM! Make them quit not harassin’ me!”

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Oh, Boy!  REBRANDING In Progress!

I can’t wait to see the beautiful butterfly that emerges this time!

How do you think DUMBFUCK will rework his web presence?  I think we will see

  • A brand-new podcast with old, crappy music in the public domain;
  • Tone deaf social satire with no connection to anything going on in society today;
  • A new website that won’t focus on Lickspittles or Zombies because that is no longer important (for about two days, maybe three);
  • New and improved references to all things alimentary;
  • Racism, sexism, homophobia and religious bigotry;
  • Helpful tips on how to be a stupid old widower with Parkinson’s disease, zero friends, and crispy fingertips from perpetually touching hot stoves;
  • Scooter maintenance tales;
  • The joys of Peapod membership;
  • How to spot the creepy liar in the mirror;
  • Spaetzle recipes; and
  • Witty repartee with the voices in your head.

How do you think his transformation will turn out?

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