Someone’s Upset

Why would Bill Schmalfeldt be upset that a vulgar, crude man speaks in vulgar crude language?

Or maybe he’s bothered that another man has expressed “great love and affection” for a category of folks in which Bill Schamlfeldt so clearly belongs?

Come out, Bill! It’s okay to be gay!

Just keep the pursuit of Cub Scouts to a minimum.

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“I’m Just Not As Into Him As He Is With Me-Me-MEEEEEEEEE!!”

Also, check out my Twitter Feldtdown whinging about this person who doesn’t matter to me SO MUCH that I read his blog every fucking day.

 

 

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The Answer to Your Burning Strawman, DUMBFUCK…

is “YES.”

And you’re too fucking stupid to know why. (Don’t forget, truth is an absolute defense against a defamation claim. So, as it turns out, is lack of personal jurisdiction.)

#virtuesignaling #DUMBFUCK #punchingup

P.S. It’s worth noting that by the same logic, Gail Schmalfeldt would be a lot LESS dead if her soulmate hadn’t spent so much time chasing white whales on the internet…

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Back In the Game, Using His Own Name?

Before all else, I want to tip my hat to Sonoran Conservative for his excellent commentary on the Bill Schmalfeldt rant below.  If you haven’t already checked it out, I recommend you do so.

I have a somewhat different take, which I was unable to address yesterday thanks to real world commitments.

After the complete rant, read on:

Yes, Aaron. I was “misdiagnosed” by an expert on the subject 18 years ago today. In that time I learned how to fake misfiring neurons in my brain to FOOL doctors who were doing my deep brain stimulation. But the Hogewash Neurology Council says I’m faking it. How can one argue?

A man who cleans the dogshit from his wife’s kennels is also an expert on progressive neurological disorders? Imagine my surprise. Now scoop up that shit, Doggy Style before your wife gets sore!

Seems to me that if anyone seriously believes I am faking my diagnosis, they owe it to the taxpayers to contact the Office of Personnel Management and DEMAND that they review my case. Contact Social Security, too. Be ready to identify yourself and provide proof. Cowards. #DARE!

I’m sure that the professionals at OPM and Social Security will be more than happy to take the word of anonymous cowards and a shit-encrusted kennel cleaner over the evidence obtained from actual medical professionals. Trump-sucking morons!

Now, before Hoggy’s soft-skulled amen choir goes running to the OPM and Social Security to disclose the “fraud” they say I am perpetrating on the government, a word of advice. They won’t listen to anonymous people. And providing false info to a federal agency is a felony. Ready?

I mean, if you are SURE I am “faking” my 18-year struggle with Parkinson’s, how can you call yourself a PATRIOT if you let me get away with it? You OWE it to AMERICA to turn me in. Step up, state your name, provide your proof. Unless you are afraid. You aren’t AFRAID, are you?

My God, such a rich lode of Slovenian horse crap! Where do I begin?

Continue reading “Back In the Game, Using His Own Name?”

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No One Expects the REBRANDING!

Translation:

Because the Peckerwrecker has threatened to kick me out if I don’t, I am ending my association with @breitbartunmask and REBRANDING!! effective immediately, instead of waiting until she dies in a puddle up to her armpits of her own waste, like I did in 2015 with what’s-her-name. (Don’t worry though – “Langston Hews” remains on staff, at least until I come up with a new yet equally transparent and stupid pseudonym.) I thank them for giving me the opportunity to spread my unwashed ass cheeks and crap all over their website and contribute to the destruction of what remains of their reputation, just as I have thoroughly dismantled my own. I wish them good luck in cleaning up the remains of what once had the potential to be a web presence as truly useless as Crooks and Liars.

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But He’s On YOOOOUUUUUUUR Side!

REBRANDING IS IMMINENT.

I REPEAT, REBRANDING IS IMMINENT!

Oh, and Twitter’s about to get sued for butthurt.

h/t to commenter Ipen.

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Two Words, DUMBFUCK:

Rent. Free.

Also, LANGSTON, if getting called out with pointage, laughery and mockification as the shitposting idiot you are bothers you, there’s a very simple solution:

Stop posting.

I’ve already told you I’m going to mock you for as long as you continue to appear online, you impotent narcissist. Did you think I wasn’t serious?

Don’t like it?

Sue me.

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

Oh, I don’t know…maybe Pfizer did some extensive market research and found a high percentage of alleged Parkinson’s patients see their symptoms come and go with such regularity that it’s easy to conclude they are simply faking the disease to make themselves look like victims.

Seems reasonable to me.

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You Know What I Love?

I love when a DUMBFUCK tries to insult someone’s intelligence, only to lace up the golf cleats once more and stomp his crank by fucking up the movie reference, making himself look like the idiot he is.

Stupid motherfucker.

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I Bet I Know What They Wouldn’t Find

DUMBFUCK DNA mixed with feline vaginal secretions. Final Fantasy: The Resistance ain’t gonna play itself, ya know.

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